19-year-old gets accused of stealing food while housesitting at 31-year-old sister's house, family gets offended when he doesn't go to Thanksgiving:

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 24, 2025 9:00 PM EST

For too many people, the holidays are a time to be reminded of everything that they lack.

A big part of celebrations like Thanksgiving and Christmas is getting together with family, but for those with dysfunctional family dynamics, this can feel more like a punishment than a vacation. The unfortunate reality of this time of year is that many find it to be disappointing and triggering because of resentments and arguments between relatives. It is no way to spend a holiday.

It is no surprise, then, that many will do anything they can to get out of spending this time with their family. More often than not, they have a good reason for avoiding the potential drama or even just discomfort. The issue with doing this is that sometimes the simple act of declining an invite can prove to be a headache. It can be a situation where it feels like there is no winning option.

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  • people holding hands and saying grace over a thanksgiving dinner table
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  • One college student felt it was best to skip the family Thanksgiving this year as he was not on speaking terms with his older sister. They had fallen out after he had house-sat for her, and she had accused him of stealing food, using things he shouldn't, and breaking a floor tile.

    He denied these accusations and had stopped speaking to her after she refused to apologize for her behavior. Despite this, his mom claimed that she had been asking if he would come to the family's early celebration of Thanksgiving. He missed it, but wondered if he was taking his grudge too far.

  • AIO? I skipped thanksgiving dinner because my sister accused me of stealing.

    I (19 M) used to house sit for my older sister (31F) I loved doing it as it let me get away from my family for awhile. One thing that happened the last 6 times I'd done so was my older sister accusing me of: stealing food (I
    via fck_this_sht3120
  • always asked), using her kids water flosser (I didn't even know it existed and her son hid it in a drawer), and breaking her floor tile (her ex husband did it when cleaning and moving furniture.
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  • a woman looking down at her phone while texting in a darkened room
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • As such I stopped accepting her requests to watch her house as being accused of stealing is a big boundary of mine which my family knows because my BM was a drug addict and kleptomaniac.
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  • I haven't spoken to her in 3 months because I've recently started college and she never gave me a real apology only texting me passive aggressive messages until I blocked
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  • her. Recently she asked my mom if I was coming to thanksgiving. My mom kept asking and I said no each time. I didn't end up going to thanksgiving so I wanna ask am I overreacting?
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  • a young man wearing a winter coat looks back while standing in front of autumnal trees
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • nostraferatu NOR. Stand your ground until you get an unconditional, genuine, public apology and her behaviour changes.
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  • Summertime-Living NOR- Reading your comments it appears your family is very toxic. I wouldn't go to a Thanksgiving at your mom's house even if you get an apology. Do a Friendsgiving instead. I can't believe your sister would even care if you ate some of her food while you watched her house. That's normal and no big deal. She is petty.
    via Summertime-Living
  • wkwt NOR. I've done something similar. Need to decide if this is a moment or long- term. If longer term, you'd probably need to come up with plans/response for future events though, like what will you do for Christmas and for her birthday, and for your birthday (will you invite her) etc etc.
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  • AbigailTrueBlue No way. Her constant accusations are despicable. NC till she gets on her knees and apologizes. How ugly of her. NOR!!
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  • RocketteP You house sit and she didn't provide food? You're not overreacting. why would you want to put yourself through a situation of having to deal with her bs and in front of others? She owes you an apology and a genuine one. But if her behaviour is to make accusations and never apologize it's probably not going to happen.
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  • Mussels84 You did them a favor and got falsely accused of multiple things. Not only didn't you get any gratitude for doing them a favour, you never got a proper apology for the accusations.
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  • rodimus 147 NOR if your house sitting for someone food is fair game. Thats not stealing that just basic courtesy.
    via rodimus147
  • Anonymoosehead123 Not overreacting at all. She needs to learn there are real world consequences to her behavior.
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  • Unlucky-Put4702 Feels like your sister is having problems. Cannot deal with what's wrong. Is there a clue here: her husband broke the tile. She blames you. Is the communication with her and her husband breaking down?
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  • Is he gaslighting her? Using you as the alternative to truths he does not want to tell? Maybe I'm just making this up as I go along, but I don't think you are lying and that's meaning she's getting bad information from a different direction
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  • CaptainBaoBao Nor. First she apologize on her knees, then you will accept to talk to her to set your unnegociable boundaries. There are no other way. You will see your mom when your sister is us out. Make it clear that ambushing you will cost her heavily.
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  • MysticCoonor123 Hey you're good man. Keep enforcing boundaries where you see fit. The holidays aren't for everyone as not all of us get along with our families so great, but I encourage you to treat yourself however you want while you have the time off (hopefully).
    via MysticCoonor123
  • MyQTips Dear, you are at the beginning of your own, independent life and you are NOR. Make friendships with new people that share your values. Grow your own family through your friendships. Your family is toxic and dangerous to you. You sound pretty levelheaded so go build your own life. Good luck.
    via MyQTips

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family drama stealing brother thanksgiving siblings aio argument family sister reddit thread Reddit mom college student
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