Middle schooler gets upset with friends stealing her stuff, stepmom uses hand sanitizer prank to teach them a lesson: 'I demanded she hand over the empty bottle'

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  • a headless closeup of a girl wearing a pink tshirt and holding onto a hand sanitizer bottle that is clipped to binoculars around her neck
  • AITA for putting glue in my stepdaughter’s hand sanitizer?

    I (F, 44) have been in my step-daughter's life since she was 4. She's now 20, we'll call her Jane. Even though her dad and I divorced, Jane and I have always had a close relationship, and she currently lives with me while she's in college.
  • Back when she was in middle school, Jane had a group of "friends" who were basically bullies. They constantly took her things - water bottles, plush keychains, school supplies, hair scrunchies, anything they could grab to get a reaction. Jane would come home crying with
  • frustration, so I encouraged her to use her voice first by being direct with them, saying, "Please stop, I don't think it's funny." When that didn't work, I advised her to involve a teacher.
  • She did. Repeatedly. Nothing changed. Eventually, I went to an assistant principal. I was told my child was "too sensitive," that she needed "thicker skin," and that the behavior of the other children was normal. I was furious! Her belongings were being taken without permission, and somehow she was the problem?
  • Fast-forward a bit: Jane and I went shopping, and she used some gift cards she had received as gifts to buy lotion, body spray, a hand sanitizer, and a cute holder for her backpack. She was so excited to show it off the next day!
  • However, when I picked her up after school... she was crying again. One of the same kids had taken her new sanitizer and passed it around the "friend" group all day. Before giving it back to her at the end of the day, one of the kids turned it upside down, squeezed it, and emptied its contents before handing it back to her. She was devastated.
  • The tip of a glue bottle with glue leaking out of it against a purple background
  • I had had enough! I demanded she hand over the empty bottle. She hesitated because she wanted to know what I was going to do, but eventually she handed it over.
  • I drove straight to the store, bought a bottle of clear glue think the kind of glue that young - children use in school, that will wash or peel off of everything. I filled the empty hand sanitizer bottle with it and added a little glitter so it still looked authentic. When I gave it back
  • to her, I told her she was NOT to offer it to anyone, but if someone took it like they always did, that was on them. I warned her they'd probably wipe it on her, get it on her clothes and in her hair, but not to worry, it would wash out. And most importantly, I told her not to let them see her cry!
  • - She was worried she'd get in trouble, but I told her the principal could call me – I'd happily sit through whatever consequences they wanted to hand out.
  • The next day at recess, one of the kids grabbed the sanitizer right off her backpack. Jane said, "Don't use that," which did not deter the kid. With smug defiance, the girl poured a handful of Japanese Cherry Blossom GLUE in her hands! It did not take her long to realize something wasn't right, and she was upset,
  • wiped it on Jane, and was livid about what had happened. Jane boldly told her that she was tired of them taking her stuff and to not do it again...then she threw me under the bus and said it was my idea.
  • The kid did not tell on her, and other than having to wash glue out of her hair and off her backpack, there were no other repercussions for Jane. And the best part? Those kids finally stopped taking her things! She ultimately learned to build healthier friendships, and it seems everyone is thriving today. So... AITA?
  • a closeup of a girl's hand with painted nails and wristbands holding a water bottle while leaning against a wall
  • cassowary32 NTA. Saying it was your idea was telling the bullies that there was someone much bigger that was willing to risk it all to take them down. I'm glad things worked out for your step daughter.
  • OP No_Example_4383 I like that perspective!
  • Classic-Channel6510 NTA, but she didn't "throw you under the bus." She just told the truth in a situation where she was in danger. Honestly, you probably should have told her to blame you from the start if she was pulled in by teachers.
  • OP No_Example_4383 I definitely did. I let her know anyone from school or those kids parents could call me and I'd be happy to chat. I don't think she was ever in true danger but no one enjoys conflict.
  • thinkpinkhair As one stepmom to another, well played mama, well played!! I'm glad you guys have a good relationship now. I pray my stepdaughter and I will have this relationship one day. Edit:NTA
  • OP No_Example_4383 Thank you! It definitely has taken a lot of work but life is great now! I will pray for the same for you and your stepdaughter!
  • swbarnes2 I think you should have gone to a school superintendent or something when the principal dismissed your concerns. "Develop a thicker skin" is not an appropriate response to accusations of bullying.
  • OP No_Example_4383 I don't disagree with you. I think the matter itself presented petty and dismissible, but when you looked at the situation as a whole, they should have paid better attention. When someone asks for their items not to be bothered, it shouldn't matter what it is, the request should be granted!
  • Forsaken-Willow-8625 If it were superglue even if it had been much deserved you would have been an AH In this scenario, definitely NTA
  • OP No_Example_4383 Right!? I feel like I used much restraint in the possibilities. before me. In all seriousness, we weren't trying to hurt anyone, we just wanted the situation to end.

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