Woman disinvites late brother's widow to Christmas, claims she's not family anymore because of her previous behavior, separating her from her 6-year-old stepson: 'She doesn't get forgiveness for past crimes just because something bad happened to her'

Once family, always family… right?

Family can be a permeable idea. You're born into one that you didn't get to choose, and that's one version of family. Then there is the extended network of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and distant 3rd cousins. Maybe you see them often, maybe you've never met them. But they are technically family either way. Then there is the family that you choose. Your partner, your friends, the people who you're surrounded by the most often. And then there are the people that your family chooses-- their partners, their friends-- who are not technically family but are still around all the time.

All of these groups of people get different amounts of access to your life, and you probably want some control over that. It makes sense that if you don't like someone, you would limit your time around them. But what if they're in one of those built-in groups? Do you get to draw a line at some point in your life? That's the situation this woman came across after her brother passed, and his wife wanted to remain included.

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In a normal situation, you'd probably drop everything to comfort your brother's widow. You're sharing a similar grief, after all, and might want to lean on each other. But in this story, the widow had already been on the outs for a long time. So does that justify getting uninvited to the family Christmas party? Read on for the whole story and see what you think.
Am I in the wrong for not inviting my widowed SIL to Christmas and telling her she isn't immediate family anymore?

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