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The protagonist of this story has decided exactly this after she continually faced some strange behavior when attending her husband's family's potlucks. As they were a very large family, most of their get-togethers involved cooking like this, and everybody brought something.
Trying to fit in, the woman had brought along home-cooked desserts that ended up being ignored every time by every single member of the family. She then switched to beverages, which nobody was willing to touch. Hurt and confused, she felt like she had to give up making a contribution whenever she and her husband attended these celebrations. She wanted to know if she was in the wrong.
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Am I wrong for never bringing food to potluck?
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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In-laws snub woman's cooking at every family potluck, she refuses to bring anything to future gatherings: 'Every time the whole dessert ended up in the trash'
Food is supposed to be something that brings people together, but that isn't always the case.
In fact, it can easily be used as a means of conflict and exclusion. Weaponizing what you cook and eat is an all-too-common phenomenon, and it is big family gatherings like birthdays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas where it is most likely to happen. As if there wasn't enough potential for drama, what happens in the kitchen and at the dining table only adds to it.
Of course, those who host and contribute to these kinds of celebrations should be conscientious of the preferences and needs of everybody who is attending. That is just a display of basic consideration. It can sometimes be impossible to make everybody happy, but it is making the effort that counts (as well as trying not to respond to any provocation).
Unfortunately, when people have decided that they want to make a point with food, it can turn out to be difficult to resolve. Almost always, it represents some kind of underlying issue that they have decided is best expressed in this way. This can prove upsetting and confusing, but it is not something that anybody should have to put up with.
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