Woman refuses to let her partner’s friend, Mark, insert himself into their pre-planned couple's trip, after he tries to change their accommodation and reshape the itinerary to suit him: 'He's acting like he's the one doing us a favor'

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  • Couple awkwardly sitting on the couch while their male friend is standing smiling
  • AITJ for refusing to change our whole trip last minute because someone wanted to tag along?

    Me (29F) and my partner (31M) have had a short trip planned for months. Nothing fancy, just 4 days in another city, a couple museums, one day hike, and one "do nothing, eat snacks in bed" day.
  • We booked the train, got a small hotel, and I even pre-booked timed entry tickets for a museum because it sells out fast.
  • I'm the annoying planner type, I admit it, but this is the first time in a while I've actually looked forward to something.
  • A week ago my partner mentioned his friend "Mark" (32M) might be in the same city around the same time for a work thing.
  • Mark and my partner have known each other forever, so I said sure, we can grab a drink if he's free.
  • That sounded normal. Then Mark found out our exact dates and suddenly it became "dude I should just come with you guys, it'll be fun".
  • Enthusiastic couple exploring a new city together
  • I laughed it off at first, like ok yeah sure, but then he kept pushing. Not just joining for a dinner.
  • He wanted to take the same train, split a larger Airbnb instead of our hotel, and change the schedule so we do stuff he likes.
  • He's big on nightlife and "spontaneous" plans, aka deciding at 11pm where we go next and then sleeping till noon.
  • I told my partner I'm not into changing everything. The hotel is booked, our tickets are booked, and honestly I don't want to share an apartment with Mark, even if he's a nice guy.
  • I like having a door I can close and not feeling like I need to socialize the whole time.
  • My partner said Mark is "easy" and it would be rude to say no when he's already excited.
  • I said it's rude to invite yourself into someone else's trip and then act like you're the one doing them a favor.
  • Mark then texts me directly (not even my partner) like "hey, I found a sick Airbnb, it's cheaper and we can all hang out, you'll love it".
  • I said we're keeping our hotel and our plans, but we can meet up one night.
  • Close-up image of a brunette man in a yellow top and sunglasses, smiling outdoors
  • He replied "why are you being so strict about it? it's a vacation, relax." That honestly made my eye twitch.
  • Like yes, it's a vacation, which is why I don't want to spend it compromising with a third person who wasn't part of it in the first place.
  • Now my partner is sulking and says I'm "making it weird" and that he feels stuck in the middle.
  • Mark told him I "don't like him" and that I'm controlling the trip. I don't hate Mark, I just don't want my break turned into a group project.
  • I'm not saying my partner can't see him, I'm just refusing to blow up our bookings and rework everything one week out.
  • AITJ for holding my ground and keeping the trip as planned?

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