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It is a common part of office etiquette to ask people to make a financial contribution when their colleagues celebrate things like birthdays, retirements, or other big life milestones. However, there is often a limit to the generosity that is on offer—especially when somebody is being asked to contribute for a coworker they don't know all that well.
This was the dilemma that one man found himself in, after a colleague came to him asking him to give her $20 to put towards the celebration of another coworker's birthday. He decided to decline this demand, as the woman worked in another department and he didn't know her very well.
Although he had previously given money for the birthdays of others, some of those who worked with him took offense at the fact that he had not chipped in this time. He was left wondering if he had made a mistake with his stance.
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Am I wrong for refusing to chip in for a coworker’s birthday gift when I barely know them?
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The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Employee refuses to contribute $20 for colleague's birthday in other department, gets ostracized by coworkers: 'It's just $20'
There is a difference between being a good colleague and allowing a shakedown.
In some workplaces, the fine line between normal and unreasonable expectations of coworker generosity is frequently trampled on. It is all well and good to expect somebody to demonstrate being a good team player, but it is not always fair to demand a significant amount of time, effort, or money without some form of payback to be had. The ideal culture of the workplace should be something that feels beneficial for everybody who is involved.
The issue with these overenthusiastic expectations for coworkers to contribute to various nonessential work matters is that not everybody is going to be on the same page about them, or want to be a part of it. This is not always a terrible thing, but it can leave those who opt out feeling like they are facing consequences for acting on their opinions. The reality is that for many of those in the working world, being competent at your job is not enough to make you a good colleague. You have to be a part of what happens outside of it, too, even if that appears to be unnecessary or unfair.
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