27-year-old sister wants to move into 21-year-old brother's 1 bedroom apartment after her breakup, doesn't understand when he says no: 'The place is really meant for one person'

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  • A man sits at a desk in front of a laptop
  • Am I in the wrong for not letting my sister move into my apartment after her breakup?

    I'm 21M and I recently moved into a small one-bedroom apartment. I worked and saved for it while studying and just moved in not long ago. It's not big or fancy, but it's my first place on my own. My sister (27F) broke up with her boyfriend and moved back in with our parents. She's been having a rough time since then, which I understand. Breakups suck.
  • A few days ago we were talking and she asked if she could move into my apartment "for a bit" until she figures things out. I honestly didn't expect that and I said no. I told her I just moved in, I'm not used to living with someone, and the place is really meant for one person.
  • She didn't take it well and said I was being selfish, especially since I'm younger and could "adapt more easily." She also said I could just stay with friends sometimes or go back to our parents, and that she needs privacy right now more than I do.
  • Later my parents talked to me and said they get where I'm coming from, but they think I should help. her temporarily to keep things calm in the family. They suggested I let her stay for free or for very little rent since she's my sister. I still don't feel comfortable with it. I worked hard specifically so I could finally have my own space, and I don't really want to give that up right after moving in.
  • Now things feel awkward and I'm being made to feel like I'm choosing an apartment over my sister when she's already having a hard time. AITA for saying no?
  • Commenters offered their support and opinions.

    Important-Owl-2... No, you shouldn't let her and you shouldn't have to explain yourself. How about your parents Lend her some money to go get her own one bedroom? And it would always surprise me about break up says they usually don't happen overnight. People find out the person is cheating or they know the relationship is feeling, I wasn't she a bit more prepared?
  • politicallymodera... NTA! These "families" have got to stop advocating "keep the peace", "don't be selfish", and "family helps family" BS! The sister obviously wants to invade her brother's space (a space he had to save for in order to have rent, deposits, etc.), FOR FREE, and expects him to just "give it up"?!?!? F...TO...THE...NO!!!
  • hayls88 NTA! Yeah break ups suck but she's a big girl, she will get over it. Shes having a hard time purely because she didnt use her adult brain and create a safety net of savings for emergencies.
  • Also your parents have room for her, she can stay with them free. You've worked hard and earned this place of your own, dont let anyone bully you into giving it up, family or not. Stick to your guns OP and good luck
  • beansprout69 NTA. Your sister is 27. She's old enough to find her own apt. If she moves into yours, she'll take over and make you feel like a guest in your own home. Shame on your parents for not encouraging your sister to be independent and trying to put her off on you.
  • A woman covers her face with her hands
  • allyearswift You can let her move in, and at all the bills and couch surf while she Taues z year or two to 'figure out her life' Or you can say one word, 'no', and live your best life in the place you're paying for.
  • If your sister wants more privacy than she gets at home she can move out into a studio she pays for, if your parents pay for it, or your parents stay with friends for a week or two at a time so sister can use their house in peace. NTA. She's not homeless.
  • saveyboy Presumably your parents place is bigger than your 1 bedroom. She would have less privacy with you. Seems they don't want her. Why should you.
  • Ck_shock Nta I hate it when people go there family you should let them stay for little or no rent. Screw that they are an adult the can pay adequate rent or get nothing. Not to mention i don't trust anyone with the I just need to stay for a bit till I get on my feet bs.
  • Just from the interactions in this conversation you had with her and your parents im not getting the vibe that she is trustworthy or can even take care of herself, worst case she comes off as a leach.
  • Lanky-Fix7376 You don't have to help Your an adult so you said No let your answer stand Anytime it's mentioned again you have no room and you don't want a room mate Don't allow this as it will become your sister apartment Don't allow or let anyone have your keys also make sure landlord doesn't give out your key as you will come home to find her there
  • SamSpayedPI NTA It's not as if she's going to be homeless; she's got a place with your parents. Presumably they have a lot. more space for her than you do in a one-bedroom apartment.
  • isittimefordinner So they want you to move out of your apartment, but keep. paying for it? What. NTA.
  • rburkhol76 So your parents don't even want her at home with them and are trying to guilt pawn her off on you? NTA - hold your own and enjoy being on your own and as far from the drama as possible - you've worked hard to earn it!
  • Talmaska NTA. Don't do it. Bad idea. She has parents; they are way more responsible than you to house her.
  • Odd_Tea4945 "She also said I could just stay with friends sometimes or go back to our parents, and that she needs privacy right now more than I do." What your sister REALLY wants is you to let her have your apartment for full, and that sentence shows it So NTA and don't back down
  • WildBlue2525Potato Your sister has a safe place to stay. Since it's supposed to be a short-term arrangement livung with the parents anyway, why should she need to stay with you? If she moves in with you, you will become an unwanted "guest" in your own apartment. And, if she doesn't pay rent, you will never be rid of her. Never.
  • Further, you are her sibling; you are not her parent. If you are feeling extraordinarily generous, pay for her to spend a weekend at a B&B so she can have the alone time she is whining about.
  • sparky0667 NTA. Why can't your sister get her own place? If she doesn't have the financial means, that's her issue, not yours.
  • mayhembang First and foremost tell your sister that she is no position to dictate who lives in your apartment. She does not get to tell you where you should stay, if she thinks that you should be staying with your friends or going back to your parents then that advise is more appropriate to her as she is the one who needs a place not you.
  • Your parents - if they want to have calm in the family then they can have her stay for free or pay her rent, your sister is not your mess, it is also not your parents mess but if they want to dictate your life then you have every right to tell them the same.
  • DO NOT let her move in, based on her behavior it is pretty apparent why there was a break up, she sounds not only entitled but manipulative and thinks that she owns you and can tell how to live your life while she can freeload off of you.
  • drgrouchy No. Her breaking up with her boyfriend shouldn't make homeless. Your parents were generous enough to let her stay with them. She needs to put on her big boy pants and get her own place as soon as possible. Until then, she's fine with your parents. NTA.
  • Sensitive-Union-... Is she not working? Why can't she have peace at your parents' house? That's strange that they're forcing. you to take her in when she's already at their house. NTA. It's a one bedroom. And she needs to find a job. Being older, she is the one who should be adjusting.
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