Dad demands his wife stop scheduling play dates for their 2-year-old son when he is taking care of him: 'I want to spend quality time with my child'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 3, 2026 8:00 PM EST

They seem like they're pretty miserable as a couple.

We all know those couples who should break up. Sometimes you have friends who date someone for years and gradually drift apart from their partner, but those aren't the people I'm talking about. I'm talking about the couples with absolutely rancid vibes every time you see them together. It takes about five minutes talking to them to figure that out. They don't have any genuine affection for one another, and it's not just that they put work and kids ahead of their romantic relationship. Their mortgage and their children are literally the only reasons they're still together. If they broke up, they'd have to sell their house and downsize, and many people would rather live in a loveless marriage with someone they despise than give up the lifestyle they've become accustomed to. They act as if they are roommates, and functionally, that's what they are: roommates who sleep in the same bed. 

Every relationship includes its fair share of bickering, but if a couple cannot find a way to compromise on simple stuff, they aren't going to make it. You can't function if your partner constantly micromanages your schedule and tells you what you can and can't do with your kid. At that point, you might as well divorce and share custody, so you can at least be the parent you want to be when you are taking care of your kid.

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  • 01
    Father teaching baby boy to play drums
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The parents in this story desperately need to get a divorce, but the dad is still trying to find solutions to their unsolvable problems. The mom is unwilling to communicate with her husband about scheduling her son's playdates, and she doesn't care that he doesn't like how often he hangs out with friends when he's supposed to be taking care of him.

  • 02

    Am I the bad guy because I want my wife to "ask permission" before taking our son on playdates?

    My wife and I have a two year old. I work Sunday - Thursday (yes, I'm at work right now) 6AM to 3PM.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 03
    She works Thursday-Sunday 5PM-11PM. So we make it work. Here's the problem.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 04
    When I get off work, I like to spend time with my child. I also like to spend time with my child on my days off.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 05
    Frequently I will be with our son, and my wife will say they are leaving to go on a playdate with one of her friends.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 06
    Or I will get home and they are already gone. I tried to have a conversation with my wife about the playdates.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 07
    I asked if we could put them in the calendar so I know when they are and maybe carve some specific slots out just for me and our son.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 08
    I feel like we are being deprived of quality time. She asked why we aren't spending time together while she is at work.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 09
    I said because his bedtime is at seven. She said that gives us two hours, but that's when I get him ready for bed.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 10
    She said "is that not quality time?" I said I really want time set aside for me and our son.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 11
    She said sometimes playdates get scheduled last second. I said it's okay to tell her friends no, that
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 12
    She said she doesn't need my permission to take our son on a playdate. I said that's not what I said, and she said no, but that I'm saying it without saying it.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 13
    She also said that playdates are good for our son and he gets fresh air and socializations, and that all I want to do is sit on the couch with him and watch cartoons and call it "bonding." She did the finger quotes.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 14
    This is not true. On my days off I want to take our son places and do things, but I can't, because she has already claimed that time.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 15
    We can only do things if we do them early in the morning while she is asleep, which we do, but she doesn't see that and doesn't acknowledge it.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 16
    Yes, when I have been working all day sometimes I want to watch my favorite childhood cartoons with my son for maybe an hour.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 17
    A small child standing in front of a television
    via Samu Lopez

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    Is that terrible? We're basically stuck. We both think the other is being insanely unreasonable. I want us to talk and figure out a good schedule together.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 19
    She thinks I'm being controlling. She messaged her friend group chat and sent me screenshots of all her friends saying I'm wrong.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 20
    I can't do that because I don't want to talk about a fight with my wife to my friends.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 21
    So what do you guys think? Update: Since so many of you said I was being too passive I made a calendar and blocked out Friday.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 22
    I sent it to her and told her I was taking our son to my friend's house to meet his animals.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 23
    She said no, because there will probably be a playdate. I told her he will have to miss the playdate.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 24
    She stopped responding for a bit and then sent me screenshots of her friend group chat where there all say I'm a jackass and one even said she should just call the police and report him as kidnapped.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 25
    I said "don't you think (friend's name) is being a little insane." She responded "just please stop trying to control what I do.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 26
    You have (son's name) when I'm at work. You don't need to have him all day.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 27
    When you get to (friend's name)'s house you're just going to sit around and watch TV." I said we're going to meet his animals, and that's the plan, and it's happening.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 28
    She stopped responding. I assume she's back to the group chat. I also sent her a screenshot of one of the comments here, and she said I was being immature posting online.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 29
    But her posting to the group chat is very mature | guess.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 30
    Alternative-Rub4137 The way you all communicate is not normal. I'd start there.
    via u/Alternative-Rub4137
  • 31
    Exact_Information627 Original Poster's Reply I agree! I try to talk to her, and it's like I'm bothering her. She doesn't want input from me. She doesn't want to compromise with me. She just wants me to make money and parent while she's working and then disappear I guess.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 32
    Ok-Apartment3827 This. Saturday mornings are now your father:son time. No consultation is required, per her actions. Leave a note and go. If she schedules something, it's on her.
    via u/Ok-Apartment3827
  • 33
    Exact_Information627 Original Poster's Reply I'll try it.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 34
    MakeChai-NotWar Why aren't you guys doing things as a family the 3 of you sometimes?
    via u/MakeChai-NotWar
  • 35
    Exact_Information627 Original Poster's Reply I wish we did more. But she's always with her friends. I try to get her to do things as a trio, and she very rarely agrees. Maybe once or twice a month. And what does she do the whole time? Text her friends.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 36
    A woman sitting on a bus looking at her cell phone
    via Cihat Hıdır (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 37
    Senior_Group1589 Nta, just sounds like you need to agree a schedule.
    via u/Senior_Group1589
  • 38
    Exact_Information627 Original Poster's Reply Right, but she doesn't want to do that because she said that's her "asking for permission." I told her let's sit down and go over everything, and she basically said I have all the time that she is at work to do what I want with, even though he is asleep the majority of that time.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 39
    Fit_Jellyfish_4444 Not sure Have you tried putting a play date for you and your kid on the calendar so your wife can look and see when you'd like to have a "slot?"
    via u/Fit_Jellyfish_4444
  • 40
    Exact_Information627 Original Poster's Reply She refused the suggestion of the calendar, but I'm just going to do it anyway. I'm making one right now and am going to send it to her.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 41
    Senior_Group1589 I suggest flipping the script then by agreeing days he will definitely be home so you can have quality time. On the other days she can then have playdates or not and doesn't need to 'ask for permission'.
    via u/Senior_Group1589
  • 42
    Exact_Information627 Original Poster's Reply She specifically will not agree to that. She said that's asking for permission. I suggested that. I'll suggest it again, but it already upset her the first time.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 43
    Little-Jellyfish-655 I can't know without more information. How about you go on these outings, or you meet them wherever they are? It is important he gets these, and if it falls during your time, you do it. Doesn't that make sense? Also, if you have the entire afternoon and evening two days a week, that's a lot of quality time! Bathtime, reading books, all the bedtime routine was my favourite and most joyful part of parenting. And they're so snuggly!
    via u/Little-Jellyfish-655
  • 44
    Exact_Information627 Original Poster's Reply Yes, I enjoy that time, but I want a little bit of time that's just us, without the pressure of getting him fed, watered and settled. I want to go push him on his push bike and look at the trees. I want to play with his baby drum set with him. I want to draw with him. Just loose unstructured play.
    via u/Exact_Information627
  • 45
    CakePhool But you have to ask for permission to be with your son...
    via u/CakePhool
  • 46
    Exact_Information627 Original Poster's Reply Exactly
    via u/Exact_Information627

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schedule calendar toddler friends wife husband dad play dates mom toxic relationship
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