Mom takes credit card from 21-year-old daughter and runs up $1300 balance, gives it to a friend without her knowledge: 'On my card due date, my mom sends me $250 which is not even half of the money she spent'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 16, 2026 10:00 AM EST

Stealing is stealing, no matter how close you are. 

It is incredibly difficult to mix money and family. It happens all the time, but it's a combination that we haven't quite figured out how to navigate. There is no easy, one-size-fits-all solution; there are only ways to better communicate. You know this if you've ever gotten into a money argument with one of your family members. Maybe you're tired of sharing the financial burden with a family member. Maybe you're constantly being hit up for money, and you want to draw a line in the sand. Maybe you're just starting to make it on your own, and you need a little space from everyone else. Whatever your struggle is, you know that it's on you to enforce your own boundaries. Nobody is going to come along and do it for you. 

Lending money to a family member can be a slippery slope. Sure, you might want to help them out from time to time, but you also have to protect your own interests. You don't want to end up in a situation where you're having to have an awkward conversation with someone you love because they owe you money. If you can avoid this reality at all, you should avoid it at all costs. But you don't get a choice about the family you're born into, and sometimes you just have to play the hand that you were dealt. That's what the young woman in this story tried to do. 

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  • A woman in black eyeglasses looks down, distressed
    via Abbat

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • After working hard to become financially independent, one young woman finally started to feel secure in her future. But the second her mom came in with a request, she knew that everything she worked for might be jeopardized. Her mom asked to borrow her credit card, which is never a good sign. She then proceeded to run up a huge tab on her daughter's credit, something that she didn't have the intention of paying off. The daughter was left wondering just what she could do to get out from under this burden. Read on for all the details and see what you think.

  • Am I in the wrong for not helping my mom out financially?

    I'm 21F and live with my mom 43F. I opened a credit card last year and have been doing rlly good. I have a credit limit of $1700 and a credit score of 752 which I was rlly proud of so I bragged to my mom about it. About a month ago my mom came to me and told me she was
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • struggling financially and if I could lend her my card. I did not have a lot of money in my debit card so I lent her my credit card so she could get necessities. I've never gone above $500 on my credit card bc Ik how much credit utilization affects ur score and I tell my mom this. About a week before my card is due I open my
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • banking app to see how much is needed to pay and was shocked to see I owed a whopping $1300+. I confront my mom about this and asks how she managed to rack up $1300+ in less than 3 weeks. She says she told her friend that I lent her my credit card and her friend asked if she could also use my card bc she was also struggling
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • financially. Without my consent, my mom gave MY card to her friend to use and together they racked up $1300+. My mom reassures me that they'll pay it back before my card is due so I silently let it go. On my card due date, my mom sends me $250 which is not even half of the
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • money she spent on my card, she begs me that she doesn't have enough money now to pay the full amount but she'll pay me by next week. Bc of this unexpected hit, my credit score lowered to a whopping 739 and I had to take $900+ from my savings to pay the rest of the card bc I don't wanna take another hit. When I checked what my card was spent on, I was even more furious to see it had been from TikTok shop, amazon, crew car wash and so on.
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • Yesterday my mom came to me and asked to borrow my card again. Scared of what happened before, I refused to give her money and ever since then she has been throwing a fit about how she's a struggling mother and I'm not helping her when she had to help me all by herself for the 21 years of my life. I always have trouble saying no to my mom bc she did sacrifice a lot to get me here and I can't help but feel shitty for being unable to help her.
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • A young woman looks over figures in a notebook in her lap
    via Krzysztof Maksimiuk

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Commenters gave their takes on the situation.

    EmceeSuzy You need to get that card replaced because she and/or her friend (or even a bunch of additional people they gave it to) probably still have the number. You are not supposed to need to help your mother pay her bills. That said, do you live with her? Does she pay for any of your insurance? Are you on her medical insurance? You never ever ever give someone your credit card but if there is something in your arrangement with her that should be paid for, you have to pay it.
    via u/EmceeSuzy
  • hornylesbogal Original Poster's Reply I do live with her, she's my only family in the U.S. I pay for my medical insurance from my work myself
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • hornylesbogal Original Poster's Reply Wow I'm ngl, I never considered how bad this situation is bc it's my mom. I talked to my friend about it and wanted 2nd opinion. I'm going to ask for a new card, thank you guys.
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • TPWilder They get into legal trouble if the family member is willing to report it. 99.99 percent of the time the victim is unwilling to prosecute. I can not tell you how many elderly men and women rage how evil the credit card company is being for not writing off the charges because they don't want to see the grandson or granddaughter get in trouble.
    via u/TPWilder
  • hornylesbogal Original Poster's Reply Yes everyone's telling me to report fraud but I live with my mom and she's the only family I have in. America. I'm scared to get her in trouble
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • 295Phoenix ESH The fuck did you expect? Holy crap, I saw this coming from a mile away. NEVER EVER give anyone regardless of relation access to a CREDIT CARD of all things. ESPECIALLY when they've already demonstrated financial incompetence. Obviously do not lend her money again...hell, YOU should've cursed her out and been infuriated with her.
    via u/295Phoenix
  • hornylesbogal Original Poster's Reply Honestly Idk, I was most definitely not expecting my own mother to do this to me.
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • TPWilder Then don't let her use the card and have the hard conversation with her about the charges. I have a brother that pulled this and he doesn't get my card any more because I can't trust him to not run wild spending. Do yourself a favor and never let mom use your card. If she needs financial help, do cash. It used to piss my brother off that he'd be asking if I could pay his car insurance for a month and I'd send him cash instead of letting him use my card - because I know once my account n
    via u/TPWilder
  • hornylesbogal Original Poster's Reply I don't plan on lending her the card again, I'll just give cash like you suggested
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • Puddin370 NTA Lock the card. If you're not comfortable telling your mom no, tell her you closed the account. Making the $250 would have been sufficient. Your score would go back up as you made payments. Unless you're planning on making a big purchase soon, there was no need to take that much money out of savings. What your mom did was disrespectful AF.
    via u/Puddin370
  • hornylesbogal Original Poster's Reply I use my credit card to pay for my tuition so I try to keep the balance on it low for when my school takes it out my card. I was also rlly scared of taking another hit on my score if I didn't pay it in time
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • Icy-Translator9353 If you are living with your mom you should give her some money monthly to help pay for the household bills and food. I promise you, you would be paying a crapload more if you had to rent somewhere. No more credit card. She has proven to be irresponsible with her spending.
    via u/Icy-Translator9353
  • hornylesbogal Original Poster's Reply I do pay for light and internet bill and I make sure to help with groceries too. ik its a privilege to still live w her at 21
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • Living-Building-930 NTA for why everyone else said. But on side note, also learn more on how credit works too as so you are not worrying about your score as much. The credit sub is fantastic and will remove any myths involving credit card scores. Such as how utilization has no memory and is month to month generated. Meaning your score will bounce back the following month as opposed to a missed payment. Etc.
    via u/Living-Building-930
  • hornylesbogal Original Poster's Reply omg rlly? I did not know this. What is credit sub? Is that a website?
    via u/hornylesbogal
  • LumpyPhilosopher8 At the very least make sure you've locked the card
    via u/LumpyPhilosopher8

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saving money credit card cards finances daughter mom money Parenting Fail parents
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