Expecting 21-year-old protests when 19-year-old roommate tells her she needs to move out before the baby arrives: 'She's dating an old married guy'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Feb 27, 2026 9:00 AM EST

Times of crisis are when a person needs a support network the most.

Unfortunately, many of those who find themselves in crises quickly realise that the reason they got there in the first place was that they didn't really have anyone to count on. Everybody makes dumb decisions now and then, but they can be mitigated a little when somebody has people they can turn to when things get difficult. This is a necessity for anyone who has big problems in their life.

At the same time, it is important to take responsibility for situations that happen because of our own actions. Part of adulthood is learning to navigate the challenges of existing without having a hand to hold the entire time. When it comes to those big life decisions, it is the onus of the person making them to make sure they work out. It is not always fair to expect others to offer the level of support that we may desire, even if it would make things easier.

It can be awkward when somebody decides to rely on you in a way that you don't think you can deal with. There are often conflicting emotions of guilt, but also anger at the unfair expectations.

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  • Two women sit on a bed, holding hands
    via Nini FromParis (Unsplash+)

    Two women sit on a bed, holding hands

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this story, a young woman was taken aback when her roommate informed her that she was expecting a baby with her married boyfriend of six months. Things went from bad to worse when her boyfriend stopped being in contact with her, and her parents refused to help her with their grandchild as they disapproved of it being born out of wedlock.

    Her solution was that she wanted to raise the child in their apartment, which her roommate felt was totally inappropriate for a number of reasons. She informed her that she expected her to move out before the baby was born. The expecting mom got upset, leaving the young woman wondering if she was in the wrong.

  • Am I wrong for telling my roommate that she needs to move out before the baby comes?

    I don't know if I was being harsh, I was just being honest with my roommate.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I(19f)share an apartment with my roommate, kayla(21f). We lived together for a year, it was my apartment first but my aunt suggested having a roommate would be beneficial to both of us.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • About two months ago she told me she was pregnant, I thought the situation was weird but I congratulated so I wouldn't be r_de.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I was shocked because the dude she's dating is an old guy that's married, she said they've been dating for 6 months.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I believe that the guy cut contact with her. I wanted to see what she would do because having a baby in this situation?
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • She said she was figuring it out, weeks went on. She finally sat down with me and told me she's keep the baby and wants to raise it in the apartment.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I won't lie, I was upset because that's not suitable for a baby. I told her \- we live in a two- bedroom \- Very thin walls \- I'm in school full time but work night shifts.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • \- She's in school to be a lawyer and wouldn't have enough time to study\The lease statements that we can't have no long term.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • Guest. (lol the baby being a guest) She' went on to say the bay isn't a guest and she can figure it out.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • A woman who is standing holds two mugs, passing one to a woman sat on a couch beside her
    via Nini FromParis (Unsplash+)

    A woman who is standing holds two mugs, passing one to a woman sat on a couch beside her

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • She started venting about how her boyfriend isn't answering her calls, she loves him, it was too much.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • She also can't stay with her parents because they don't condone her having a baby out of wedlock, she said they've are going to stop paying her college tuition.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I feel like that's crazy for a parent to do. She had a plan, she asked if I was willing to help her.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • Like switching rooms so she can have the bigger one. Help when the baby cries, well dang.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I told her no because I don't sign up to be a baby sister for an infant.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I picked the roommate and not a baby, this isn't a place for a child. I told her if she keeps the baby then she will need to find another place before the lease renews.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • She begs crying saying I'm horrible for wanting to kick out a pregnant woman. She als said I know that she can't afford a place of her own right now.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I also suggested some women shelters and resources that can help her. Her mural friends told me I was a bad person, if they think I'm a bad person and selfish, then why not take her in?
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • I know why they don't want to take her in, they're just showing out. But I feel like this will change the living situation we agreed on.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • A woman touches the shoulder of another woman as she tells her something
    via Nini FromParis (Unsplash+)

    A woman touches the shoulder of another woman

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • EmceeSuzy You are NTA. I do hope that you're being as gentle as you are firm. You cannot add a baby to your small apartment. Your roommate can choose to complete the pregnancy and raise the child but she cannot impose that on you. The only question is whether or not she is on your lease. If she is then you probably have to let her (and the baby) live there until the lease expires. When is the child due? And when does your lease renew?
    via EmceeSuzy
  • youknowimright25 Is she on the lease? How long did you give her to move?
    via youknowimright25
  • RemoteLifeguard5811 Original Poster's Reply Yes she is! It ends in 4 months so that's enough time so I let her know that I'm not renewing with her. Not forcing her out but making it clear that I can not live with a baby because this two-bed apartment isn't good.
    via RemoteLifeguard5811
  • youknowimright25 You can't kick her out. You can, not resign and move out tho. If you don't want to live with a kid. Don't. Its that simply.
    via youknowimright25
  • veryshari519 You sound like you are almost on the verge of caving in. DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT GIVE IN. Living with a baby will completely upend your life. You did not sign up for that, as others have said, you signed up for a roommate, not a roommate and a baby. Tell her the sooner that she figures out her new living situation, the more settled she will be by the time the baby arrives. I know it sounds harsh, but DO NOT feel guilty, this is not your problem to solve.
    via veryshari519
  • Objective-Pound2185 NTA for not being willing to co- parent with her, however she is right that her infant would not qualify as a guest. You can certainly lay down ground rules like you will not be giving up your room, you will not be watching or caring for the baby in any way, she can not leave the baby with you, etc. If she is on the lease you can not actually kick her out for being pregnant. Even if she isn't on the lease it's possible you can't even evict her for being pregnant, that could b
    via Objective-Pound2185
  • RemoteLifeguard5811 Original Poster's Reply Wasn't kicking her out lol. Just told her that because I won't renew with her
    via RemoteLifeguard5811

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baby affair college students friends argument roommates apartment moving out
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