Wife finds dream job listing, husband considers applying because he's more qualified than her: 'We would not be competing'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 3, 2026 9:00 AM EST

Most people prefer their partner to be their cheerleader, not their competitor.

If one of the main benefits of being in a relationship is that it makes you feel good about yourself, that should extend to every area of life. It isn't nice to be with somebody who dotes on you in public but is cold in private, or vice versa. The very best partners succeed in making existence more fulfilling, encouraging us to follow our dreams with them by our side. Even the most well-meaning of people don't always get that right, but it is something that it is important to prioritize. 

Considering that family sometimes doesn't mix well with a person's profession, it follows that being a couple in the same company can occasionally have its issues, too. Not everybody is going to find being in professional competition with one another the most romantic of scenarios. It goes against that fundamental principle of a partnership being about mutual support. Some people can live with it and even appreciate the motivation, but it can be genuinely damaging for those who are less secure in themselves. 

 

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  • A man sitting on a couch puts his hands on the shoulders of a woman sat in front of him with a laptop on her lap
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A man sitting on a couch puts his hands on the shoulders of a woman sitting on the floor in front of him with a laptop on her lap

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this story, a husband worked the same job at the same company as his wife. She had recently noticed a job posting from a different company that fit the specifications of her dream role, but was quickly disappointed when she realized that they were asking for somebody with a four year degree. Her highest qualification was a 2 year college diploma.

    However, the husband met the education requirement and was enticed by the idea of doing something different for a higher salary. With his wife feeling like she couldn't apply, he wondered if it would be inappropriate to do it in her place.

  • Would it be wrong to apply for my wife's dream job that she isn't qualified for?

    My wife and I are in the same job at the same company and we have been for about 6 years.
    via GoingCommando690
  • Recently a different employer in the same industry posted a job that she has mentioned multiple times before would be her dream job.
    via GoingCommando690
  • The position is not in demand and is rarely open for applications - it hasn't happened in the 6 years we've been together.
    via GoingCommando690
  • She noticed the poster and was super excited until she looked at the education requirement - minimum 4 year bachelors degree.
    via GoingCommando690
  • She only has a 2 year college diploma, I have a 4 year bachelors degree. I know this is a sore spot for her.
    via GoingCommando690
  • She is understandably bummed out about it. I have said in the past that the job might be interesting but I have never directly expressed my own interest in the position.
    via GoingCommando690
  • Reading through the job description however it seems like I'd really enjoy the work, I have all of the minimum requirements and almost all of the experiences/assets that they're looking for.
    via GoingCommando690
  • The new job also pays $15k more per year than what I/we currently make. My justifications for applying: its well within my current line of work, it would increase our HHI, we would not be competing for the same position, I am tired of my current position and I have expressed my desire to try something new.
    via GoingCommando690
  • I haven't brought this up with her yet, obviously I will talk to her about it before I submit my application if I even choose to apply but wanted to see what other people thought before I decide whether or not to go through with it.
    via GoingCommando690
  • A man and a woman look at each other and smile while sitting on a couch
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A man and a woman look at each other and smile while sitting on a couch

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Successful-Sun 1704 I think she should still apply. Some employers will look at experience in place of a lesser degree.
    via Successful-Sun1704
  • Betalisa PLEASE encourage her to apply for the position! You should talk with her honestly about being interested too. But she SHOULD apply: https://www.library.hbs.edu/working- knowledge/breaking-through-the-self- doubt-that-keeps-talented-women-from- leading
    via Betalisa
  • goddessofgoo Definitely talk to her first. You should also urge her to apply. Many jobs will consider real world experience in place of education requirements and if she's been in the same field for 6 years, that might be good enough. If she doesn't want to risk the disappointment of rejection, ask what she would think about you applying instead of her. She's your wife, communicating and agreeing about these kind of things is important.
    via goddessofgoo
  • Comprehensive Pop886 She should still apply. Sometimes they bend the requirements for the right person. I would be ped and sad if my husband swoped my dream job. Hopefully she won't resent you for it. It really depends. You should encourage her to apply. If she doesn't want to apply just ask her if she minds if you do.
    via ComprehensivePop886
  • goldenfingernails If I were her, I'd still apply. I'd highlight the areas where her qualifications and experience exactly match the job description. Do that enough, she might get an interview. It might be fun if you both apply at the same time and see what happens. A lady in my company made VP of HR and she doesn't have a Bachelors degree. You can still move up, but you have to be good at selling your experience.
    via goldenfingernails
  • MissFabulina She needs to apply. You need to encourage her to apply. Who the h I cares about those 2 years? If she has the correct experience, she should go for it. Even if she doesn't, she should go for it. Women ALWAYS discount their qualifications. Men usually overestimate theirs. Talk her up. Encourage her. Be her cheerleader! Don't be the AH. Be the hero.
    via MissFabulina
  • Aggravating_Baker557 Why not encourage her to apply? Recruiters may overlook education requirements for the right candidate. Studies have shown that women often underestimate their skills and don't apply for positions they may be well suited for.
    via Aggravating_Baker557
  • Onetuffkitten13 It's petty and stupid but I can't explain how upset I would be if my husband applied for and got my dream job -especially if he wasn't even into it in the first place. No amount of money is worth that resentment. Encourage her to apply anyways!
    via Onetuffkitten13
  • Scared-Alfalfa37 I think she should still apply. It's her dream job after all As for you applying... That's gonna sting
    via Scared-Alfalfa37
  • laokim YWBTAH If you apply without talking about it with your wife first. How about you ask your wife and talk to her about how she would feel about it instead of asking the internet?
    via Iaokim

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