Dad forbids 21-year-old daughter from driving after she got rear-ended, even though it wasn't her fault: 'It seems suspicious, she drives way less than I do and I haven’t had an accident in years.'

It's not like she's going around hitting every car in sight. One of her "accidents" occurred while her car was parked, and she got rear-ended by another car. She is a college student who needs a car to get around!

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  • A silver car hitting a red car from the back
    via Usman Malik

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for taking away my daughter's driving privileges after she got into two accidents?

    I'm in my mid-40s and have a daughter 21 in college for CS and a son 23 who still lives with me.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • My son recently bought a truck. I and my parents gifted him part of the funds but he bought it himself since he's learning HVAC and needs something practical.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • Blue Ford pickup truck
    via Caleb White

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My daughter has been using a 2010 Corolla we had because she said she didn't really want a new car at the time, and after graduating might move to NYC and not need one as she did her internship there.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • Night skyline of New York City
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She's been in two accidents with it. The first time she came home with damage and said she found it like that when it was parked.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • The police registered it as a hit-and-run. Then recently she got rear-ended and the driver fled according to her.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • While technically it wasn't her fault I honestly think she might have stopped suddenly or backed into something herself and didn't admit it.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • Statistically it seems suspicious she drives way less than I do and I haven't had an accident in years.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • Because of this I decided to take away her car privileges for now. My son still drives his truck because he hasn't had accidents recently and I feel he will need it for work.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844

  • I love that he says his son hasn't been in any accidents “recently.” I wonder how many accidents he has been in, and if they are more or less severe than the ones his daughter has been in. Hers are pretty garden-variety, so I can't imagine that the dad is judging the drivers by the nature of their accidents. I think he just trusts his daughter less than his son.

  • My daughter is upset and says it's unfair she's being treated differently but I feel like this is about responsibility and safety.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • She says she does not text and drive but she is always on her phone compared to my son and always texting and calling people, out with friends at night, unlike my son.
    via u/Nice-Tea5844

  • I think this guy is mad that his daughter has a social life. He sees his son as more virtuous and disciplined because he doesn't hang out with friends, which isn't a good way to approach life. If anything, he should be concerned that his 23-year-old son doesn't hang out with his friends at night!

    It's absurd to assume that someone who texts at home also texts and drives. If she applies lipstick in the mirror at home, would he assume she's applying lipstick in the car mirror? Maybe! I think he sees his daughter as vapid and untrustworthy, which is wild because she is going to college for computer science. He should be proud of her accomplishments, but he seems much prouder of his son for getting into the trades than of his daughter for attending college. He should be equally proud of both of his kids, but clearly, he is not. Even their grandparents favor the son! 

  • If she is not being truthful I could also get in trouble for insurance fraud. AITA here?
    via u/Nice-Tea5844
  • Helena-Handbasket89 "Technically it wasn't her fault but I think she did something" YTA You keep saying "according to her" like you think she is lying yet you didn't provide any information showing she is a habitual liar. So from what you've said, she is not at fault. Period. Also, you said your son hasn't been in any accidents "recently" and your daughter feels it's unfair. So when he got in an accident, did you take away his driving privileges?
    via u/Helena-Handbasket89
  • PubDefLakersGuy YTA. Unless you have a reason to believe she is lying, she deserves the benefit of the doubt. Especially a REAR END accident - she's by default NOT at fault. Practically you install dashcam(s). Truthfully, sounds like you inherently think she's a bad driver because she's a female.
    via u/PubDefLakersGuy
  • EllySPNW INFO: how long have you disliked your daughter? Unless she has a history of dishonesty, it's pretty concerning that your first assumption is that she's lying to both you and police. YTA, unless there's more to the story.
    via u/EllySPNW

  • He doesn't give any evidence that she has a history of lying to him, so his perspective seems like it's the result of personal biases against either women in general or his daughter specifically.

  • CanadasNeighbor You said she got into accidents, and imply she caused them. Unless proven otherwise, she got hit by two people in parking lots and you're punishing her for that. YTA for exaggerating. My answer would absolutely be different if she had two at-fault accidents.
    via u/CanadasNeighbor
  • 3DS_RepairHelp YTA because you're assuming without actual factual evidence for these incidents, and you know what happens when you assume.
    via u/3DS_RepairHelp
  • Appropriate-Mall9781 YTA... She was on the 'hit' side of a hit and run, and got rear ended. Those are both 'The other person is at fault' accidents, so unless you have some concrete evidence that she's actually being neglectful somehow, you're punishing her for what others are doing to her/her car.
    via u/Appropriate-Mall9781
  • ParticularAd1735 You're punishing her for two accidents that you have no evidence she caused. YTA
    via u/ParticularAd1735
  • priest2705 YTA. It seems to me like you don't trust your daughter to tell you the truth. Did the police say that she was at fault for the rear-end? If not, that would lead me to believe that the police believed her in both instances? Are you better at discerning the truth than they are??? You have absolutely no evidence that she did anything wrong, but you're punishing her anyway
    via u/priest2705
  • Most_Protection6212 Your daughter has two accidents that aren't her fault and you punish her tho she's grown? She needs to get her own car. She's on her phone all the time while NOT driving so you just ASSUME she's on it while driving? YTA. And a major one for constantly comparing your kids and just assuming your daughter is lying.
    via u/Most_Protection6212
  • OutrageousMixture568 YTA - You have no evidence or real reason to suspect she did anything wrong. The reasonable response would be get a dash cam. Based on her reaction I am guessing that this isn't the first time she felt like she was being held to a higher standard than her brother. This is the type of thing that leads to kids going no contact.
    via u/OutrageousMixture568

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car driving parenting car accident dad rear ended daughter adult children son college student
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