Entitled man gets backlash after throwing a tantrum at his girlfriend for sharing too much of her food with his friends at a group dinner

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  • A couple sits at opposite ends of their bed, upset after their fight.
  • AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop sharing her food?

    (Throwaway acct) My girlfriend always offers to share her food with everyone when we go out to eat.
  • I've asked her why she does this, and she says it's just how she was raised, to always make sure everyone else at the table is taken care of before she eats anything.
  • I've told her multiple times that, while it is an admirable gesture, she doesn't have to do that, and that no one will judge her for not offering her food. because they have their own meals.
  • This isn't just with shareable items, either. She will offer bites of her burger, or pasta, or soup, and other things that are simply not easily split, usually ending up with another person taking direct bites or stabbing their used forks and depositing their saliva into her food.
  • Aside from the ick factor, I have also told her that she really needs to avoid offering her meal when we dine out with my friend Brian (fake name) because he's the type the person who has no self-control with food, and zero social awareness to understand that "help yourself" does not mean "you can eat all of it and I won't mind".
  • This has happened a lot in the past, where he'll house 90% of a shared appetizer plate because the rest of us were talking and being. polite, and he just assumed that meant we weren't hungry.
  • I wouldn't care as much if he paid for it, but he's almost always broke, and doesn't seem to understand what tax and tip are.
  • If the item was listed as $11.99 in the menu, when the check comes, he'll toss in exactly $12 and think he's square.
  • I know most of you are going to ask why I'm even still friends with Brian if I h eating with him, but please understand that he's a really great guy and a reliable friend, he just has a troublesome relationship with food.
  • That's not the only facet of his personality, just the only one relevant to this post.
  • Last night, we were out again with friends, and my girlfriend once again offered her meal to everyone, Brian included.
  • A group of friends sits around the dinner table, sharing food.
  • I didn't want to make a scene, but I gave her a little nudge and she just gave me a shrug in return.
  • Unsurprisingly, Brian ended up eating most of her food (as well as his own plate), and my girlfriend didn't say anything.
  • On the way home, she asked if we could stop by a fast food place because she didn't get much to eat, and I told her she should've just eaten the food she ordered instead of offering it to the table.
  • I said this was exactly why I warned her, and that she's seen the way Brian is with food, and that she shouldn't have been surprised when he ate more than she was actually intending to let him.
  • I still stopped to get her something, but I also complained that I don't enjoy paying for Brian's meal, since he basically ate all of hers.
  • I might have been harsh, but this has come up multiple times, and she knows I'm not a fan of it.
  • I could tell she was upset when I said it, and she still is now. She hasn't called me an a ole, but she's making me feel like one, and I think we're both expecting the other to apologize first.
  • JasminJaded PSA: Does she ever really eat much when you go out with people even when no one is taking the food she's offered? I ask because she may be uncomfortable eating in front of others, so she nibbles and gives food away in an attempt to cover that up. Getting angry with her isn't going to help solve this since it's actual disordered eating. She may be fine eating with just you, but add a bunch of people and it's harder... just something to look for. If you have to stop to get fast food fo
  • PhantomDetective3548 Original Poster's Reply I'm assuming you're asking for INFO? She doesn't really have a problem eating her food if no one takes any. She doesn't always eat her entire meal, but it's not consistent enough for me say she offers her food because it's too much for her to eat all of it herself. I guess as a kid she was always taught that other people might want to try what she ordered, so it's just become a habit of hers to always offer a bite to everyone the moment her food arriv
  • icecreamorlipo I'm curious if she offered OP some of her food when they stopped to get her something after she didn't. eat the first time.
  • PhantomDetective3548 Original Poster's Reply She did not
  • idkareyousure YTA it only takes 2 seconds to say, "Jesus, Brian, she said TRY."
  • BlondDee1970 YTA for blaming your girlfriend rather than addressing Brian's behaviour. You'd rather fight with your GF than call out your friend.
  • Usual-Dragonfly3791 ESH. Your gf for not having stronger boundaries. Brian for being selfish. Lastly and most importantly, you for not standing up to Brian for your gf
  • zombiemiki ESH. You need to actually talk to people. If your girlfriend wants to feed Brian, she can pay for her food. I feel like we're glossing over Brian, though, who is always broke and eats all the food. Does he actually get enough to eat in general? What's going on here?
  • xforgottenxflamex NTA. I'd be mad too if I was buying a meal for my girlfriend and she gave it all away then wants to grab more food instead of just eating the original meal she ordered. People are grabbing on to just Brian in this story and aren't considering that she does this with everyone not just him. He just happens to take advantage of it the most
  • Stepinfection ESH- the ick factor sounds like your problem and not your gfs and I'm not sure why you haven't ever told brian to chill. You could very easily be nice and say "hey Brian, GF won't have anything to eat if you keep eating her meal". Your gf needs to stand up for herself. It's nice to want to share but I can't believe she will order a second dinner rather than tell someone she is still hungry and wants to eat more of her meal.

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