Couple refuses to spend Easter with family after family demands they sleep on the couch while visiting: ‘I would rather pitch a tent in the backyard’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 24, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

If you invite me to stay at your place and then offer me your living room couch while others stay in the guest room… Don't be surprised if I tell you I'm not coming.

When you have guests over, it's important to make them feel comfortable and welcome. And if you can't offer them even that, maybe it's better if you don't invite them at all.

The couple below, a man and woman, have been spending almost every holiday with the man's family, and for the most part, it is a pleasant experience. His sister invites the entire family over to her house and offers them all to spend the night so that everyone can stay comfortable for the entire holiday's duration. The problem is that this sister has only one guest room, and too many guests to fit in that one room. There are other siblings, dogs, and children, and there is no way everyone can fit in one house.

So, every holiday this couple arrives at the sister's house, and ends up spending the night on her living room couch, and they have finally had enough of this arrangement. Not only do they have absolutely no privacy in the living room, but they are also forced to go to sleep after everyone has vacated the space, they get terrible back pains from the uncomfortable couch, and they are forced to deal with the dogs running around in the house completely unsupervised.

This upcoming Easter, the sister invited the entire family, but the couple finally decided to refuse the invitation. No one is willing to help them find a different sleeping arrangement, and they refuse to spend another night on that couch, which leads the family into a stalemate. The couple won't come, and the family will have to celebrate Easter without them.

Some members of the family think the couple is being unnecessarily stubborn, while others understand why they don't feel comfortable spending another holiday with this arrangement. Keep scrolling to read the full story to decide which side you are on.

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  • Big family sitting on the couch together.
    via Georgijevic

    Big family sitting on the couch together.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for not wanting to spend Easter with my partner's family, because they make us sleep on the couch?

    EDIT: I've suggested AirBnb several times before, but they're expensive and my partner and I have low income | have been with my partner for almost a decade.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • He has two sisters. One of them (let's call her Alice) has one adult and one late-teen kid who both live at home, they have a house in a small town around 5 hours from us by car.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • The other sister (let's call her Beata) has two dogs, one of which has random outbursts of aggression, because it came from an abive environment.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • We visit Alice regularly for Christmas, Easter (they're Christians, so it's an important holiday for them), their kids' birthdays (they have birthdays close to each other, so we celebrate both at the same time) and randomly during the year.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Since it's quite far, we also often sleep over there and they also always try to convince us to stay there for as long as we can and my partner then convinces me to "just stay one moreay".
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • However, they also always make us sleep on the couch. They technically have one guest room, but that one is always occupied by Beata, her husband and their dogs.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • And Beata tends to visit at the same time as us. Anyway, as for sleeping on the couch, the issue is not just that it's uncomfortable (which it is, it's super soft and my back hurts after the first night and I keep waking up because of the rib and back pain).
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • We also never have any privacy, because the entire family is in the living room the entire day.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • They are also very loud and constantly in your business. I need some time to recharge from them, but there is no space.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Plus there are always three dogs running around which I can't hide from. And the last issue is that I tend to go to bed around 10 in the evening, while they will happily stay up talking way past midnight and despite asking them numerous times to let me unfold the couch and go to sleep, they keep postponing it for hours.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Since we can never sleep in the guest room, we can also never bring our cats with us and need to hire a sitter.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Beata can't hire a sitter for her dogs, because of the aggressive one, so despite earning like triple of what we do, we are the ones who need to pay for petsitting.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Top View Kids Hands with Easter Crafts
    via oksanashufrych

    Top View Kids Hands with Easter Crafts

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So anyway, we were supposed to go visit them this Easter and stay there from Thursday until Monday evening.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • However, as I've also learned today, Alice's BIL and his wife and kid will be coming to visit them from abroad.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • To accommodate them, Alice's kids will share one of their rooms and Alice's BIL will stay with his family in the other one.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Like, suddenly THAT'S possible. I've asked numerous times before if we could not sleep on the couch, because it hurts my back and I can't sleep properly and the answer was always no, because there's no space.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • So I've told my partner that I'm simply staying at home with our cats. My partner does understand my reasoning, but to him family always come first, so he is still trying to convince me to go.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • He had a video call with his family today and while I didn't participate in it, I heard it from the other room and they basically think I'm spoiled and stirring up drama.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • So please give me a reality check.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • lurninandlurkin NTA What your partner is actually telling you is that his biological family comes first, not the family you two became when you got married. Let him go and sleep on the couch and you can relax at home and do something you actually enjoy doing.
    via lurninandlurkin
  • Heriette VonStadtl Original Poster's Reply We never got married and are not planning to. But I still consider him to be my primary family
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Itchy_Fun2338 NTA. The fact they stay up so late when you literally have to sleep in that room is disrespectful AF. Suddenly they can change arrangements for someone else, but not you? Sounds like your partner could do a better job sticking up for you as well. I wouldn't let anyone, family included, slander my partner ESPECIALLY when they know you're listening.
    via Itchy_Fun2338
  • Heriette VonStadtl Original Poster's Reply Yeah, the fact that SUDDENLY it's possible to free up a room is what ped me off
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • femmemalin You're NTA but why on earth would you not start at a hotel or Airbnb instead since this is a known issue? That seems like an obvious compromise. If that's off the table for whatever reason then, yes, staying home is a choice you get to make.
    via femmemalin
  • Heriette VonStadtl Original Poster's Reply I keep suggesting that we get an AirBnb like every time, but my partner always shuts it down because it's expensive and he thinks that his sister would get offended (which she probably would)
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Mystery_fcU How did your husband respond to them saying you are spoiled, dramatic and stirring up drama? Does your husband realise that YOU are his family now, so if family truly comes first in his eyes, he should be putting YOU first and not his EXTENDED family.
    via Mystery_fcU
  • Heriette VonStadtl Original Poster's Reply To be fair, he did stand up for me and shut them down, he's pretty good about that
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • ExRiverFish4557 Assuming that the town is small enough that hotels aren't an option, I'm going with NTA. (I travel to a lot of small towns for work and I know sometimes there isn't one within an hour or that the one that is available isn't safe/clean. I cringe at the some the places I've had to stay.) Staying with them for multiple days sounds exhausting and they're showing you they could've made accommodations and choose not to.
    via ExRiverFish4557
  • HerietteVonStadtl Original Poster's Reply It's more like a village and there are no hotels, but there are some AirBnbs in a near-ish town. But they're quite expensive and they would require my partner to drive us back and forth, which means that he wouldn't be able to have like a beer with his family in the evening. Plus, since he also usually stays up late with them, we would be also driving back at a pretty advanced hour.
    via HerietteVonStadtl
  • Jacsmom NTA I would rather pitch a tent in the backyard and sleep on an air mattress than sleep on a living room couch. Edit: judgment
    via Jacsmom
  • Heriette VonStadtl Original Poster's Reply Funnily enough, my rheumatic back can tolerate sleeping on a hard camping mat much better than a soft couch, maybe that could be an option lol
    via HerietteVonStadtl

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easter family drama living room kids house mother siblings aunt host family sister women parents children Father
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