Mom visits son at work, gets annoyed when he tells her to stop telling coworkers embarrassing childhood stories: 'My coworkers thought it was hilarious'

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  • An older woman sitting at a table and holding a coffee cup laughs as she speaks to others at the table
  • My mom showed up to my work to "surprise me for lunch" and spent the whole time telling my coworkers stories about my childhood that I have explicitly asked her not to tell

    Some context: I work at a mid-size architecture firm, I've been there almost four years, and I have a reasonably professional reputation there that I have worked hard to build.
  • My mom lives about 40 minutes away and we have a functional relationship as long as certain boundaries are respected.
  • One of those boundaries, which I have stated clearly and calmly on multiple occasions, is that she does not tell the childhood stories.
  • A man and a woman look at an architectural model that the man is holding up while sitting at a desk in a personal office
  • Specifically the ones that she finds charming and I find humiliating, there are maybe five or six of them that she has basically workshopped into little performance pieces over the years.
  • I've explained this to her. I've explained WHY. She always agrees and then does it anyway when the opportunity presents itself because the reaction she gets from an audience is more important to her than my actual request.
  • She showed up on Tuesday with sandwiches, which normally would be fine, but three of my coworkers were eating in the common area and she sat down with them and within about eight minutes she was doing the story about how I cried at my own surprise birthday party when I was seven because I didn't like surprises, and the one about how I made my parents hold an actual funneral for a fish, complete with the details | have asked her to leave out aproximately a hundred times.
  • My coworkers thought it was hilarious. One of them brought it up again at 4pm. When I told my mom later that it had bothered me she said she was just being friendly and that I should be gratefull she made the effort to come see me.
  • An older woman sitting at a table and holding a coffee cup tells a story to others at the table
  • usernamewasobvious I'd be telling her she is no longer welcome to surprise you at work and that you will have her escorted off the premises. She can't jump on your boundary then think she can continue to have access to you to do that!!
  • SortedN2Slytherin Your mom telling a story about how you were upset because you don't like surprises is ironic because that's what she is still doing now. I don't know why she thinks your coworkers are an appropriate audience for your childhood stories, except that she considers them an untapped resource for more attention on her.
  • pinguinitox_nomnom Time for a little ultimatum, isn't it dear?
  • SweetoPurrito If I was your coworker I would like you more for having a funeral for a fish cause I like people who care about their pets. Sorry your mom s ks
  • Internal-Unicorn 1629 Time to put some consequences with ignoring those boundaries.
  • WhereWeretheAdults Mom just lost access to you at work. She uses your childhood trauma for social clout, that's pretty sad.
  • MyFriendsCallMeEpic No one here will blame you for going NC she sounds aweful.
  • SugarKyle Your mother does not respect you. The harder you try to get her to respect you the more she is going to assert her dominance as your mother to do what you want. You get to decide how much you want to be an adult and how much you want a relationship with your mother. She isn't bringing you sandwiches to be nice. She is doing it to worm her way into your job and put you in your place after you have clearly told her that you want to maintain a professional environment and that her behavio

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