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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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My [23F] dad [79M] has taken over $130k from me via student loans. How do I deal with this?
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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The thing about giving someone total control over your finances is that you only find out how that went when something forces you to look. In this case, it was a therapist suggesting she check her loan statements, which led to the discovery that $2,000 a month in living expense refunds had been going into her dad’s checking account while she was receiving $1,150 and supplementing the rest with a campus food pantry.
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The escalation from borrowing $200 for a ring repair to secretly taking out $100k in private loans in her name is the kind of character development that takes real commitment. Most people who ask to borrow money at least have the decency to stop around $500.
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When she brought it up at dinner, her dad cycled through three separate explanations in about ten minutes. He had no idea what account she was referring to. Then the deposit had never actually arrived. Then he had declined the deposit on purpose to keep her loan amounts low. When she pointed out that declining money from a loan you already took out makes no logical sense, he suggested they talk about it later.
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Later turned out to be a private conversation downstairs where he confirmed he had been using her living expense loans for the family’s bills for years, had taken out an additional $100k in private loans in her name at a 16% interest rate without telling her, and would really appreciate it if she told her mom she had just been confused about the paperwork.
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He has a repayment plan. It involves a disputed tax return, a failed annuity investment, and two separate battles with state and federal governments. Her brother, who also had money taken and a credit card opened in his name without permission, is not holding his breath. His plan B, basically, is to pass and let life insurance sort it out. As a retirement strategy, it is genuinely not the worst plan he has executed.
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