26-year-old traveler goes solo, splitting from the big family group in Japan because they keep erratically changing plans: 'I did not want to sprint between last-minute ideas'

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  • 中村会計
  • "AITAH for not apologizing after I split from the group in Japan because they kept changing plans?"

    I'm 26F and in Japan for my cousin's wedding. It's my first time traveling abroad and I love exploring, but I do best with a loose plan and a steady pace. My cousin, her friends, and a few family members have been doing a big group
  • itinerary most days, and it's been fine until now. The problem is they keep changing plans at the last minute and expect everyone to immediately pivot. For example, we'll
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  • agree to meet at 10, then at 9:40 someone texts that we are switching neighborhoods, switching museums, grabbing lunch at a place with a long line, and also squeezing in a shopping street. I get wanting to do
  • a lot, but that kind of constant rushing means we end up running from place to place and not really seeing anything. Yesterday was the last straw. We were supposed
  • to do one area and meet for dinner, but plans changed three times before noon. I politely told the group chat that I was going to do my own thing for the afternoon and would meet them at dinner. I went to a garden,
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  • wandered around, took photos, had a quiet coffee, and actually enjoyed the day. At dinner my aunt pulled me aside and said I had embarrassed my cousin and made it look like I
  • was mad. My cousin said she felt stressed because she was trying to keep everyone together. I told them I wasn't mad, I just did not want to spend the whole day sprinting between last-minute
  • ideas. They want me to apologize to keep the peace. I feel like stepping away was the most respectful option compared to arguing or forcing myself
  • to keep up. AITAH for refusing to apologize for splitting off when the plans kept changing?
  • Reptilianskilledjfk This is exactly why I hate large groups for sightseeing or amusement parks/zoos/museums. There's no way to make everybody happy so if I were you I would do my own thing and meet up for some food with them.
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  • BlatantEgg4314. NTA You can apologize to your cousin and reassure her that you weren't mad. You just wanted some time to do your thing and were happy to reconnect later in the day.
  • You don't have to make anyone else wrong, just state your intentions and plans and then do them.
  • I think your cousin might be less stressed if she lets people choose to stick together all day, or go do their own thing (like you) and meet up at mealtime. Enjoy Japan! It's one of my favorite places in the world!
  • Only-Breadfruit-... NTA. It's very normal to separate for the day and regroup at dinner. You've got nothing new to talk about if you're all together the whole time. It's fine
  • StrobeWafel_404. You're doing the best thing you could do!! Enjoy your time in Japan, make the absolute most out of it
  • Beetlejuice_me ⚫ NTA. There clearly are no plans. You might consider going to the places everyone agreed to in the first place, and then pretend to not know the "plans" changed.

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