Woman joins friends' international trip last-minute, only to discover the friend who is planning the trip refuses to book her any tickets: ‘I don't trust her’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 6, 2026 5:45 PM EDT

Every friend group has the one who always pays for everyone's tickets and bookings, and the one who never pays them back.

Eventually, these friend groups tend to hit a crisis when the first friend grows sick of the second friend and finally sets their foot down, which causes chaos for the rest of the group. Only when it is agreed that the irresponsible friend shall always buy their own tickets and pay for their own expense can the friend group move on and past this issue.

When it comes to the three friends in the story below, the issue is a bit different, because one wouldn't even consider the other a friend… 

It all started when these two friends decided to go on an international trip, and one of them decided to invite another person. This person is not someone trustworthy since she never pays her friends back and has accumulated quite a debt among them.

Going on a trip with someone like that is never a good idea.

When the second friend heard about the possibility of this woman tagging along on the trip, they agreed on one term: They will not be booking any tickets for her. If she wants to join any activity, she would have to pay for it herself. As the planning moved along, it became clear that this term was not going to be respected, as the friend was constantly pressured to book tickets for all three of them and was promised that they would get that money back, someday…

Understandably, this feels like a risk this friend is not willing to take, and it seems like the whole dispute is putting a damper on a trip that hasn't even started yet…

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  • Three people walking next to a train
    via Raul Guillermo

    Three people walking next to a train.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for refusing to book a ticket for someone I don’t trust?

    I'm going on an international trip with a friend. We planned everything in advance and split responsibilities between us. We each booked our own flights, he handled the accommodation, and I booked some of the activities. He paid me back for his share with no issue.
    via UnflavoredClay
  • Now here's where it gets messy. There's another person involved who I'm not close with and honestly do not trust. My friend is still in contact with her, but he has complained about her multiple
    via UnflavoredClay
  • times in the past, including saying she owes him a pretty significant amount of money from years ago that she never paid back.
    via UnflavoredClay
  • She recently moved to the country we're visiting, so my friend told her about our trip and asked if she could show us around. He also mentioned she might join us for one of the activities.
    via UnflavoredClay
  • I told him very clearly that I was fine booking tickets for us, but I was not booking or fronting money for her because the ticket is expensive and I do not want to be in a position where I have to chase someone for payment. He said okay.
    via UnflavoredClay
  • Fast forward a couple of months, I asked if he ever confirmed whether she was joining. He messaged her something along the lines of: "Are you coming? OP is booking the tickets."
    via UnflavoredClay
  • That annoyed me because I had already told him I wasn't booking for her.
    via UnflavoredClay
  • I reminded him that I was not buying her ticket and said she could book her own if she wanted to come, or if he wanted to handle it, he could book for that attraction and I'd just reimburse him for my share.
    via UnflavoredClay
  • He then said, "She'd be embarrassed not to pay you back, I'll take care of it." I told him I still wasn't comfortable taking that risk and said he shouldn't front the money for her either if she has a history of not paying people back.
    via UnflavoredClay
  • Now I feel like he made it seem like I'm the one being difficult, even though I set that boundary from the beginning. AITAH for refusing to book a ticket for someone I don't trust?
    via UnflavoredClay
  • Edit: She was a "friend" back in college but events happened that lead me to not trusting her in everything.
    via UnflavoredClay
  • Two women standing next to each other at a park
    via Raul Guillermo

    Two women standing next to each other at a park.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • notAugustbutordinary He invited her. He pays for her ticket and can add it to the debt she owes him. NTA
    via notAugustbutordinary
  • Individual Physics29 NTA And stick to this as well. Hopefully she won't come
    via Individual_Physics29
  • Putrid Hawk_5974 NTA. Don't even question yourself. She lives in another country; you'd never see that money again.
    via Putrid_Hawk_5974
  • cthulularoo "She'd be embarrassed not to pay you back, I'll take care of it." What does that mean? Is he guaranteeing that you'll get your money back, or is he just saying he'll ask when the time comes to ask?
    via cthulularoo
  • NTA, at this point, I'd drop the both of them and go on a solo trip. Why is he trying to get someone you don't like to go on a trip with you anyway? That seems stupid, right?
    via cthulularoo
  • Zherneb Nta. Tell him that he can pay you back after but she has to pay before buying the tickets. Tell him you don't know her enough or trust her to pay you back so you can't afford the same leniency with her
    via Zherneb
  • Just_Asking21 NTA stop discussing it with him, you are not involved anymore and you're not paying for her. If she wants to go then one of them can pay
    via Just_Asking21

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Tags

international responsibility friendship friends group trip tickets money road trip vacation
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