43-year-old ex-husband refuses to bring 7 and 10-year-old kids to their 41-year-old Mom, Lisa, after she shares the laugh-out-loud reason with him

If this woman wanted to see her kids during her ex-husband's weekend with them, she should've thought of a better excuse than this. 

Divorces can be tricky for families, as emotions run high and kids get caught in the middle. Some of the best divorce advice is for parents to try their very hardest not to involve the kids in their interpersonal disputes. The kids won't really understand it, but it'll complicate their relationships with both parents. 

And, as you can read below in this story shared by a father seeking advice, not every parent can maintain that level of maturity and rationality during the divorce process. 

This Mom decided that she needed to see her 7 and10-year-old kids soooo badly during their weekend with Dad… but the reason she gave to her ex-husband is perhaps the worst reason she could've picked. 

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  • Representation of a Dad reading a book to his child.
    via Brooke Cagle

    Depiction of a Dad reading a book to his child.

  • My ex-wife, Lisa (41F), and I (43M) divorced last summer. We share 2 kids (10 & 7). My wife currently has primary custody of them and I get them 2 weekends a month with extra time during summer and holidays. I have been
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • working very hard to change our custody agreement in order to get more time with the kids. But the main hurdle is that I live too far away from their school so I am looking to move closer but that takes time.
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • Depiction of a mother and her two children spending time outdoors together.
    via Brooke Cagle

    Depiction of a mother and her two children spending time outdoors together.

  • This past weekend I had the kids and took them to visit my parents since they live on a lake. We spent Saturday morning on the boat fishing and tubing and having a blast. When we were back at the house getting ready for dinner, Lisa sent me a
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • text asking if we could talk so I gave her a call. She said that she was having a rough day and was feeling very emotional and alone. She asked if she could talk to the kids for a bit and I agreed. After a few
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • Representation of a father playing with his daughter, helping her to ride her bike outdoors.
    via Brooke Cagle

    Representation of a father playing with his daughter, helping her to ride her bike outdoors.

  • minutes the kids gave me my phone back because Lisa wanted to talk more. She asked if I would be willing to bring the kids back to her for the rest of the weekend because she missed them and just wanted to be around them.
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • I told her no because this is my time with them. I asked her what was going on because she usually doesn't contact me when I have the kids except to arrange drop-offs. She kind of tiptoed around it a bit but eventually said that she had a date that
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • Mom and daughter spend time other, as the Mother pushes her child on a swing.
    via Brooke Cagle

    Mom and daughter spend time other, as the Mother pushes her child on a swing.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • evening but he ghosted. her and she's feeling really emotional about it. It took every ounce of self-control I have not to start laughing. She said that she already asked the kids about it and they said they were
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • fine with it. I told her that is some manipulative BS and that I am not going to sacrifice my limited time with the kids just because she got stood up. I reminded her that she has the kids much more often than I do and I am going to keep them every
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • A father and daughter working on an art project together.
    via Brooke Cagle

    Depiction of a father and daughter working on an art project together. 

  • single second that our custody agreement allows. She told me that I was being a j and that if the kids want to go back to her then I should let them. I told her that the kids don't get to make
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • that decision and I will be keeping them until our agreed upon drop-off on Monday and ended the call. She sent a few texts later that night and during Sunday basically calling me an AH but I never responded. I figured the texts might come in
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • handy when I try to change the custody agreement. The kids and I spent a lot more time on the lake Sunday and then I brought them back to Lisa on Monday. She made a comment about
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • how much she missed them and how she wished she could have seen them sooner while giving me a weird look. I didn't respond because it's not worth the fight.
    via Abject-Athlete857
  • I understand feeling emotional about being stood up but none of that is my fault and the way she went about it felt very underhanded and manipulative.
    via Abject-Athlete857

  • Lisa… please… why would you try to make your ex jealous in this way? 

    You can't do both things, right? You can either make your ex jealous by taunting him with the knowledge that you're dating. OR you can request that the kids come back to you ASAP to make you feel better, which in itself is quite an odd request. But if you do both things at the same time, you're simply not going to achieve your stated goal. I'm honestly baffled by what she did here, it just makes no sense. 

    Did she really think that her ex-hubby would have tons of sympathy for her? And also, why is she leaning on the kids to be her emotional support? Can't she call up some friends to have a girl's night instead? 

    It sounds like the kids were enjoying their beach weekend, too. So telling the children to pack it up and leave their sandcastles behind because Mommy is freshly heartbroken is only going to make those kids roll their eyes. 

  • Commenters sided with the Dad here, and also voiced some concerns about the way she's treating those kids

    Limerase My issue is that she's putting it on the kids to be emotional support humans. NTA
    via Limerase
  • Adpiava Kids are not an emotional support animal. Just because she was feeling bad doesn't mean they
    via Adpiava
  • need to drop everything to support her. I'd definitely keep track of this for the future.
    via Adpiava

  • This person advised that they keep a close eye on the wife's messages. Screenshots may be in order!

    Single_Many597 NTA If your custody is court-supervised, raise it now, not during future litigation. What she
    via Single_Many597
  • is doing is a very common first-step in parental alienation.
    via Single_Many597

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