Dad buys 22-year-old new Mercedes for graduating college, stepmom complains that she didn't get a car instead: 'We are not struggling for money'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 29, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Are gifts for your spouse more important than gifts for your kids?

While gift-giving is a nice custom to have, it is also one of those things that can prove controversial in families. Many resentments are stoked, and arguments are started, when somebody believes that a relative has been unfairly favored thanks to a present that they received from a loved one. In these cases, it is basically like an inheritance battle on a smaller scale.

It may be true that what we gift and who we give it to speaks volumes about our relationship with someone, but that is not necessarily an excuse for entitled behavior. Sometimes, those who protest about this are just looking for a way to manipulate and guilt-trip a gift giver or receiver about something that doesn't need to be an issue.

This is especially true when it comes to presents that are a one-off; it is understandable to feel a little upset if there is a noticeable difference between what Christmas gifts your parents gave you and your siblings, for example, but some gifts are just for one person, and a certain moment in time. It isn't always a good idea to overanalyze it.

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  • A model representing a young woman sitting sideways in the driver's seat of a car
    via Nate Johnston

    A model representing a young woman sitting sideways in the driver's seat of a car

  • A proud father decided to surprise his 22-year-old daughter with a brand-new car after she graduated from college with great grades. She was very grateful, but his wife of seven years was not happy with what he had decided to do to celebrate her achievement.

    She was annoyed that he had bought her stepdaughter a new vehicle, but had not bought one for her as well. Her car was only 2 years old, and he had also bought it for her. He argued that her complaint was unnecessary, not least because it didn't have a great effect on their financial situation. He wanted confirmation that he wasn't in the wrong.

  • Am I wrong for getting my 22 year old daughter a new car instead of my wife?

    I am 52M and my wife is 46F, we got married 7 years ago, but we both have children from previous marriages. I have one daughter 22F, who I raised alone. My wife has 2 sons, 27M and 25M. Her youngest son lives with us
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • but I make him pay a small amount in rent. I am not very close with her sons since they were pretty old when we got married, and their dad is involved in their lives, in my opinion the youngest son is very materialistic, as in asking for expensive birthday gifts when my wife
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • and I just started dating, and asked me for a bmw for his first car which I said no, I felt it was inappropriate to ask because I am not his father figure. I told my wife to work on correcting that behavior. My wife and daughter are not very close, but this is mainly due to my
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • wife and daughters personalities, my wife is very bossy and my daughter does not like when my wife tries to set her rules onto her, because my daughter was already in her teens when we started dating so it was weird for a
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • female figure to try and take this role. I spoke to my wife about not overstepping and she stopped, but they aren't super close.
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • My wife works a fun but low paying job, and I own a business that makes pretty good money, my wife puts all her expenses on my credit card and she has her own bank account as well with the money she worked for. I pay all of the bills for the house, the vacations,
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • retirement, etc. We are definitely not struggling for money, and I paid off all my wife's debt when we got married as well.
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • My daughter just finished college, she got scholarships but I paid for the rest of her school expenses. I decided to get her a brand new mercedes amg gle as a graduation gift, since she graduated laude. She didn't even ask summa for it but I was very proud of her, and she was so grateful she cried. Her first car was a used honda and she was just
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • as grateful when she got that car as she was the new one so I felt like she deserved it. My wife kept making comments to me about the car, saying I didn't ask her permission, and that I should have upgraded her car before my daughters.
    via Naive_Abies6843
  • My wife drives a 2 year old range rover that I bought her. I told her that I would upgrade her car when it stops working, and that a lot of people won't ever get to drive a car as nice as hers, and that she should be grateful for her car and happy for my daughter. The car didn't even dent into my savings or her
    via Naive_Abie6843
  • allowance, and I didn't think I needed to ask her to get my child a gift. My wife said I was treating my daughter unfairly since I don't help her sons financially, even though I helped get them reasonable cars when my wife and I were dating. She said that as the wife she should come first. But I said
    via Naive_Abie6843
  • my daughter earned it and she worked hard for 4 years. My mom told me it was ok to buy it but that I should have asked for permission, but my friends said that since it's my money my wife has no say.
    via Naive_Abie6843
  • Two models representing a middle-aged male and female couple sitting at opposite ends of a couch with their arms crossed
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Two models representing a middle-aged male and female couple sitting at opposite ends of a couch with their arms crossed

  • Street-Handle-1291 Remind us again why you married your wife? I'm not hearing a single redeeming quality. NTA
    via Street-Handle-1291
  • ProfessorDistinct835 NTA and I hope to god you have a pre-nup.
    via ProfessorDistinct835
  • kdgarcia0611 NTA you bankroll your wife's entire life and she has the nerve to complain that your daughter got a new car after busting her bot in school. I'd be updating my will to ensure my daughter isn't left with
    via kdgarcia0611
  • nothing because it sounds like you're wife does not care about her and sees material possessions you provide as a competition between the two
    via kdgarcia0611
  • 14high What marrying a gold digger does to a mf. Nta.
    via 14high

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