Ex requests money from former girlfriend to help his brother reunite with his long-distance girlfriend, then ghosts her after she says no: ‘He left me on read’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jun 3, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

There are awkward favors, and then there's asking your ex to fund someone else's love story…

Before taking her dilemma to r/AITAH, u/Artic_mage3 found herself dealing with a situation that was far stranger than the average awkward text from an ex. Maybe they want closure, maybe they want to reconnect, maybe they accidentally liked a photo from 2018 at 2 a.m. What most people don't expect is an ex showing up in their messages asking for money so his brother can visit a long-distance girlfriend overseas.

To be fair, long-distance relationships are expensive. Flights aren't getting cheaper, and anyone who's ever counted down the days until seeing their partner again knows how exciting those reunions can be. But there is usually an unwritten rule that the people responsible for funding those trips are the people actually in the relationship, not their siblings' former girlfriend.

Things get even stranger when you learn that this wasn't some random acquaintance. The woman and her ex had dated for several months before he suddenly stopped responding to her messages after moving back to his home country. The relationship ended, they stayed friends, and everything seemed normal until he decided she might be the perfect person to sponsor his brother's love story.

When she turned him down, explaining that his brother's romantic life wasn't really her financial responsibility, the ex didn't take it particularly well. Instead of accepting the answer and moving on, he stopped responding altogether. Now she's left wondering if saying "no" ruined the friendship, or if asking your ex to bankroll your brother's vacation was the friendship-ending move in the first place.

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  • 01
    The close-up image captures a thoughtful expression, often associated with personal growth following an ex-boyfriend relationship.
    via Unsplash+ (via Christopher Campbell)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    A young woman looks directly at the camera while standing outdoors.

  • 02
    Backstory context: My ex (24M/Japan) and I (26F/USA) dated almost a years ago? We were together only a few months, we lived in the same state but he was a 6 hour drive for me. He was also an international student. During this time, his brother also is in the US and finds himself a girlfriend, also international, from Europe.
    via Artic_mage3
  • 03
    In the timeframe of us dating (5-7 months?), he graduated and he had to fly back home. We discussed how our relationship dynamics will shift due to being a longer distance, and made plans for me to fly out and visit within 5-8 months. I started to learn a bit of the language to help that visit. We however did not discuss anything longterm.
    via Artic_mage3
  • 04
    2 weeks into him being back home, he suddenly stops texting, doesn't pick up my calls, and I'm ignored for a whole week and a half. I finally got him to hop on a call and explain himself, where he said he wasn't sure where this relationship would go. He said "I don't know when I'm going to see you again" as if I didn't already have $3k ready in the bank to purchase a plane ticket. I told him that was fine, all he had to do was communicate that to me instead of ignore me. The breakup call lasted
    via Artic_mage3
  • 05
    Fast forward, we call on a weekly basis to catch up usually. I get a text one morning asking for a "big" favor. His brother is back home, wants to visit his girlfriend in her home country. My ex says "I remember how I felt seeing you for the first time, and the last week we had together before I left. I want my brother to experience that and was wondering if you'd help me fund his trip to see her?"
    via Artic_mage3
  • 06
    Well... No. My relationship with you didn't work out, so why should I help fund your brother's LDR meetup? I told him if we were still together I'd feel a lot different on this situation, but if he couldn't even communicate to me about his concerns for our future and end it without a word - why should I help?
    via Artic_mage3
  • 07
    He left me on read, won't respond to any new messages. It's been a month and a half now, so I'm afraid the friendship we developed has shattered now. AITAH?
    via Artic_mage3
  • 08
    Some of our mutuals are telling me just because I couldn't be happy, shouldn't mean I can't let others be happy. I understand the feeling of meeting your LDR partner, I literally had that moment too. But I'm at a loss here.
    via Artic_mage3
  • 09
    Edit: We never had money problems when together. He's never asked me for money prior to this, we also gave ourselves a rule when together that he pays for food, I pay for activities. It felt decently equal. There were times he'd be going through something and I'd have to remind him it's okay to open up, which he typically would. I chalked this up to mental health as everything else in the relationship was mature.
    via Artic_mage3

  • Before turning to Reddit for answers, u/Artic_mage3 explained that the breakup had been amicable enough for the pair to remain friends and stay in regular contact. Still, the unexpected request left her questioning whether she had crossed a line by saying no. Fellow members of r/AITAH quickly weighed in with their opinions.

  • 10
    The image shows mobile communication in action, a key part of staying connected during a long-distance relationship.
    via Unsplash+ (via freestocks)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    A person types on a smartphone.

  • 11
    IllustratorSlow1614 ΝΤΑ He's testing the waters to see what he can get away with and seeing if you have any residual nostalgia for the short relationship you had with him to manipulate you with. It was outrageous of him to even ask this of you.
    via Artic_mage3
  • 12
    Odd_Activity_6458 That wasn't a friendship. He was investing some time hoping for a payoff. NTA
    via Artic_mage3
  • 13
    Feeling-Past-8216 NTA. I don't get why you still bothered to talk with him after you broke up. Time to block him.
    via Artic_mage3
  • 14
    Ambitious_Roof_2099 bro why are you still writing messages to him, don't become a doormat, find new peeps
    via Artic_mage3
  • 15
    Mesapholis No, it has become clear that he treats this "mutual" connection as a buffet. Picking out what suits him and ghosting you very immature even as - friends - when he doesnmt get what he wants
    via Artic_mage3
  • 16
    Melancholyfruit420 Nta- I'm gonna be honest, it sounds like he was waiting for the chance to ask you for something. Bringing up how he felt when he first saw you after disrespecting you a year prior is crazy. Him not messaging you for over a month is proof he doesn't value your friendship and you need to block him. Use your savings for YOUR future, maybe add to it and take yourself on a lil trip somewhere you want to go
    via Artic_mage3
  • 17
    OrcEight NTA If the mutual friends actually believed this was a reasonable request, they would have paid him themselves.
    via Artic_mage3
  • 18
    pseudolin Even as a friend, that's a ridiculous thing to ask for AND to frame it that way? It's manipulative.
    via Artic_mage3
  • 19
    2mankyhookers You don't have an EX there, you have a grifter, cut all contact and block
    via Artic_mage3
  • 20
    The portrait shows a young professional in a bright home setting, reflecting the optimism often seen at the start of a long-distance relationship.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

    A Japanese man smiles confidently while standing indoors.

  • 21
    CADreamn NTA. He's your ex. No need to keep in touch, let alone fund his brother's vacation. Block him and move on.
    via Artic_mage3
  • 22
    bythebrook88 Some of our mutuals are telling me just because I couldn't be happy, shouldn't mean I can't let others be happy. Then these mutual friends can donate so ex's brother will be happy! Or are they only generous when the money is coming out of OP's pocket?
    via Artic_mage3
  • 23
    Salty_Astronaut_9419 Wat? This can't be real. No real person would have a friend group that would b because you didn't pay for someone else's sh. Those would be worthless friends who should be told to f off or pay for it themselves
    via Artic_mage3
  • 24
    Steups 13 Nta. It seems like your whole relationship was about you being convenient and available for him on his terms. He ditched once he reached home and if you hadn't persisted, he would have continued to ghost you. I also wonder how much of our friendship was genuine as it seems like he only kept contact because he knew you had money and thought you would be easy to manipulate. He's just been using you.
    via Artic_mage3

  • The overwhelming majority of commenters felt that refusing the request was completely reasonable. Many pointed out that asking an ex to help fund a sibling's romantic trip was unusual to begin with, while others argued that his reaction to being told "no" revealed far more about the friendship than her response ever could.

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text message Awkward ex boyfriend relationships
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