Manager insists on buying expensive custom cakes for each coworker’s birthday and expects co-managers to pay for them, one considers calling in sick to avoid paying. “Average budget is $60 a cake, company does not reimburse.”

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jun 4, 2026 12:00 PM EDT

How is everyone so comfortable with spending $300 a year on in-office birthdays?

Let's preface this story by saying I'm on the Redditor's side this time, and also that I find it so puzzling how some people can't even fathom considering others' economy when making suggestions like this. That said, it was my 29th birthday last week, and that also got me thinking about how people relate to birthdays and celebrations. I've forgotten so many people's birthdays, no matter if they were friends of mine, partners, colleagues, or even close family members, and I didn't tend to take it personally if somebody forgot mine or didn't give me a present. At least, that's what I thought before my favourite aunt couldn't be bothered to message me that day. In that moment, I felt all those years of karma staring at me right in the face. I know this seems beside the point, but bear with me here: birthday celebrations ARE an important event, even if they are not obligatory, and intelligent managers should make them a part of their agenda if they would like to have a healthy, enthusiastic team of workers; however, the expenses derived from that endeavour should ideally come from the company and nowhere else.

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  • Pink and white cake on white ceramic plate
    via Katie Rosario

    Pink and white cake representing coworkers favorite.

  • Obligatory Birthday Contributions Are Making Me Call In Sick Tomorrow

    I am a Supervisor/Manager at a government job in the USA (California).
    via sneakerboy86
  • Barbara is the team cheerleader and events logistics person. If there's a reason to celebrate, Barbara has the decorations, the planning, and everything else down.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Barbara recently asked everyone for their birthdays and their favorite type of birthday cake.
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  • The day of the office celebration, she brought both cakes in and I did not contribute because I felt like it was coercive.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Needless to say, I let her know that if we are going to be celebrating his birthday tomorrow, I can stop by a store and pick up a treat (some donuts, cupcakes, or other sweets), but no, she insists it must be Ice Cream cake.
    via sneakerboy86
  • I feel sick to my stomach and coerced to give up $30 here, $60 there, and $90 over here.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Please don't be a Barbara.
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  • We do not have a company credit card. Anything we do in-office, we have to spend our own personal funds on.
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  • For example, if the fridge in our office goes out, we have to split the costs amongst employees to buy a new one.
    via sneakerboy86
  • The reason I bring this up is relevant to my story (and the reason we have to pay for these things on our own is because the state I work for does not allow taxpayer dollars to be used towards them).
    via sneakerboy86
  • Above us, we have two managers, and then we also have three coworkers who work in our office suite, for a total of 11 people.
    via sneakerboy86
  • ANYWAY, my coworker "Barbara" is also a Supervisor/Manager. We both manage a team of two each.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Recently, we had two birthdays, one for Team Member A (my direct report) and Team Member B (one of her direct reports).
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  • She informed me on Teams that Team Member A's favorite cake is red velvet cake and that she already pre-ordered it at Whole Foods two weeks prior...
    via sneakerboy86
  • and she also included a cake for Team Member B, with the total being $120.00. She suggested that I chip in half. I let her know that I was not comfortable contributing $60 of my salary to buy a cake...
    via sneakerboy86
  • to leave it to me to buy my employee some cupcakes ($18 for luxury cupcakes from Sam's Club, highly recommend if you have one in your neighborhood).
    via sneakerboy86
  • She replied, "Well I already ordered it..." and I let her be.
    via sneakerboy86

  • I'm assuming this manager knew the importance of making everyone feel celebrated, while also knowing the company's budget limitations, and decided to take matters into her own hands, or well, into her and her teammates' hands. Or maybe she's just too rich and can't imagine someone could be upset about having to spend $300 a year out of their own pocket on CAKES.  

  • The following week (last week), she bought yet another cake from Whole Foods for one of her direct reports in-office baby shower. On top of that, she had baby shower games and gift card prizes for the participants.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Again, I received a message today from Barbara on Teams asking if I had bought my employee. an ice cream cake, since that is his favorite.
    via sneakerboy86
  • To her credit, she did not ask me to contribute to this celebration.
    via sneakerboy86
  • And here we are, tomorrow is another in-office Tuesday, and this time we are supposed to celebrate THREE birthdays for the month of June:
    via sneakerboy86
  • one birthday of my direct- report employee, plus Barbara's, and also my direct manager (who also is Barbara's boss).
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  • am also concerned that by not contributing, I am putting a target on my back as a "non-team player" in the very likelihood a promotional opportunity comes up, which is unfortunate.
    via sneakerboy86
  • I am considering calling in sick tomorrow so I can avoid the birthday celebration altogether and save myself the guilt and pressure of contributing to what I consider to be over the top, as far as office birthdays is concerned.
    via sneakerboy86
  • I became a manager to lead and earn more money, not to spend it on what I consider to be relatively expensive office treats for people that are just colleagues.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Considering we are a team of 11, contributing $30 every time someone has a birthday would be about $300 a year out of my own pocket.
    via sneakerboy86
  • In addition, she is getting a cake for herself and for my boss.
    via sneakerboy86
  • After lunch, I got a Teams message letting me know she went to Baskin Robbins and picked up a $30 ice cream cake and some cookies, and that "should be enough..."
    via sneakerboy86
  • Since his birthday is not until next week, I did not think of that (and I also don't have access to the list of everyone's favorite cake).
    via sneakerboy86

  • The calling-in-sick strategy is a sly but effective strategy unquestionably, but it's definitely a "one-or-two-timer"; eventually, when every birthday prompts a sudden illness truth will out, and the management team will have to have an honest conversation, which by the way should've been the first option to consider.  

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terrible coworkers manager workplace
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