Mom charges 16-year-old daughter $80 a month for rent while letting her 17-year-old brother live rent-free

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 10, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Should you have to pay rent to live in your parents' home?

It's a tough world out there, and sometimes you end up at your parents' house again. This isn't a moral failing, and it can be a beneficial arrangement if it works out for everyone. But the person in this story, shared to the AITAH subreddit, hadn't even moved out of the house yet, and they were already dealing with the economic pressures of the world. Even worse, it was coming from her own mother. Having a job as a teenager can be a great way to earn some pocket money and learn about real-world responsibility. But there is a fine line between having a fun part-time job and being responsible for your room and board. As long as you're under a certain age, it's your parents' responsibility to do that for you. The mother in this story didn't want to do that for her children. When you're a teenager, it can be difficult to grasp that your parents don't have it all figured out. Maybe they make you think that they do, and then you assume that everything that goes wrong is your fault. But when you have some amount of perspective, you can zoom out and realize that they were in the wrong the whole time. That's what was happening to this young woman, who was starting to make her own money when her mother swooped in and tried to take it all away from her. She wanted to exercise some amount of independence, and found a part-time gig that was going to help with that goal. But as soon as her mother found out, she wanted a slice of the pie. It didn't help that she had been financially controlling in the past and needed to exert her reach over her child's life. But she didn't extend that same sort of cruelty to her son, who was a similar age and in a similar position. The 16-year-old girl here was left wondering if she had done something wrong or if her mother was unfairly taking advantage of her.

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  • Cheezburger Image 10637376256
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    A teenage girl is upset, sitting curled up on the floor

  • Am I in the wrong for refusing to pay my mother rent?

    I (16F) have gotten hired two weeks ago and am working as a waitress in this restaurant nearby my house. I don't make much money, I get £9 an hour and work varied shifts (so I take home around £150 a week.)
    via amivri
  • I wanted to begin working in the first place because my mum never seems to have money on the side for me whenever I want to go out with my friends - which I understand, since she has three kids. For the first week only, my money was *my* money. But then she began getting irritated that I was buying myself new things and, you know, spending the money that's there to be spent.
    via amivri
  • So, she began charging me rent. It was £50 for the first week, which I find extremely ridiculous because that's a whole day's work. In retaliation, I had spent £70 on her card because I wanted my money back. I stole it, went out with my friends, and blew it on a load of crop in order to get my work's worth.
    via amivri
  • Bear in mind, she doesn't work. She gets money from the government for a living. I argued with her and it got lowered down to £15 p/w. What I don't understand is that my brother (17M) doesn't pay rent. He works weekends so he works slightly less than I do, but
    via amivri
  • he isn't charged a dime. Apparently it's because he's responsible with money and I'm not. I wouldn't say I'm irresponsible, I just buy what I want because I have nothing else to spend it on. I also have been trying to create a savings, but losing £60 a month is pulling me away from saving anything. Maybe I'm a little biased, but my brother only saves money
    via amivri
  • because he catfishes elder guys online and pretends to be a girl. So all the money he spends doesn't come out of his pockets. I'm still unhappy with having to give her any money at all. I have refused to continue paying her, so she has put me at an ultimatum: pay her weekly or get out. Am I being unreasonable and/or childish?
    via amivri
  • Cheezburger Image 10637376512
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    A mother and a teenage daughter have an argument on the couch

  • Commenters weighed in with some advice and opinions.

    Ehy350 She can't charge you rent if you are under 18.
    via Ehy350
  • gyrainstinct ESH. Your mum sks for charging one child rent and not the other. You s k because stealing £70 from her card instantly destroyed the moral high ground you had. Two wrongs don't make a right.
    via gyrainstinct
  • Relevant Emu_5464 NTA - In the UK, parents are legally obligated to house and support their children until they reach 18 years of age. They are not legally able to collect rent payments until this age, as you are not able to enter a binding rent agreement.
    via Relevant_Emu_5464
  • Important to understand, your mum is likely receiving certain benefits by having. children of a specific age. If she is insistent on you paying rent or leaving the home, I would highly encourage you to do some research on this front to see what implications she could face to her government payment.
    via Relevant_Emu_5464
  • stein63 Your mom is taking advantage of you. Charging one child rent while letting the other live free isn't teaching responsibility, it's unfair. But taking money from her card was wrong too. Stop doing that, save what you can, and start planning your exit for when you're old enough.
    via stein63
  • baboonontheride No rating- lots to unpack here. Stealing your mom's card to 'get your money back' was extremely petty and childish. That said, your mom is being way unreasonable, and let's face it, probably due to a certain amount of jealousy.
    via baboonontheride
  • You're able to do things for yourself that she maybe can't for herself. I would definitely check on local laws- in my country, you can't legally charge a minor rent. Minors can't enter into contracts, etc.. there's a lot of protections,
    via baboonontheride
  • and its always a good idea to know your rights. Once you have that piece, sitting down and calmly expressing your point of view (Shouldn't have to pay rent, brother doesn't have to pay rent, are you contributing to your upkeep with chores versus the rest of the family, etc) and see what her attitude is then.
    via baboonontheride
  • Impossible-Use4950 | mean, stealing from your mother is pretty irresponsible, don't you think? Do you think you'll not have to pay rent and bills when you turn 18 anyway? Not a very good start to your adult journey if you think this kind of behaviour is acceptable.
    via Impossible-Use4950
  • ImmigrationJourney2 ESH She shouldn't charge you rent, but stealing her card as retaliation shows a profound lack of maturity. She has big. issues, but I don't think her concern is totally unfounded. Also where do you live that your parent can kick you out at 16?
    via ImmigrationJourney2
  • Popular-Drummer-7989 It's got to do with power not money You're now at the age where you are her "competition" which is you sure treats you differently from your brother.
    via Popular-Drummer-7989
  • Controlling you by controlling you're money isn't the answer. Make sure you setup your own bank accounts without her name on them. Don't flash your stuff. Save for future day you move out.
    via Popular-Drummer-7989
  • mouthymerc1168 My mother charged me rent. She was a single mom raising 2 kids and worked 2 jobs to keep us fed and a roof over our heads. It also taught me to be a responsible adult and how to
    via mouthymerc1168
  • manage my money. Of course, I too gumbled at times, but the reward of knowing I could ease her burden was the best lesson I could have learned. We weren't privileged, but the lessons I've learned have helped me feel secure and comfortable later in life.
    via mouthymerc1168
  • Familiar-Heron 5120 She gets money from the government, so her main responsibility is to keep everyone alive and taken care of.
    via Familiar-Heron 5120
  • If you want to help out, give her the $15, but make it clear that the only reason you're giving her the money. is because you want to contribute. Say that openly so everyone understands. If you don't want to help out, that's okay too. Just quietly save your money and don't make a big deal out of it.
    via Familiar-Heron 5120

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