Coworkers criticize employee for going to the movies after work instead of donating her money to her coworker: 'I feel like I'm being watched.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 12, 2026 12:30 PM EDT

What she does with her money is none of their business!

In many industries, it's considered inappropriate to ask your coworkers how much money they make. If you find out that your coworker is making $20K more than you for the same exact job, it's going to make it a whole heck of a lot harder for you to focus and actually be motivated to do your job well. It can be beneficial for employees to know how much their coworkers make when it comes to negotiating a raise, but knowing how much your coworker makes doesn't always guarantee that you're going to make the same amount of money as them. 

At the end of the day, even if you know how much money your coworkers make, it doesn't mean you know their financial situation. They could be bankrolled by their daddy, with their job serving only as something fun for them to do during the day. They could be spending basically all of their disposable income on student loan debt, leaving them no money to hang out and socialize after work. I think it's unprofessional in any context to ask your coworker how they spend their money. It's really none of your business if they're struggling with bills or living it up. 

The coworkers in this story started pocket-watching a new hire because she said she didn't have enough money to donate to her coworker's vet bills. They were angry that she used money she didn't even earn at her job to go to the movies with her friends instead of paying someone else's bills. Incredibly strange behavior. 

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  • a 30-year-old woman going to the movie theatre and eating some concessions that she bought with money she made selling some old dolls.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A model representing a 30-year-old woman going to the movie theatre and eating some concessions that she bought with money she made selling some old dolls.

  • Am I the bad guy for going to the movies instead of donating to an employee emergency fund?

    I (30F) started a new job about six months ago. It's a small mum-and-pop business, very "family vibes," which is usually fine... except a month ago one of the employees had
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • a financial emergency because of unexpected ongoing vet bills. The owners put out a donation box to help her.
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • a donation box for a coworker who's had a bunch of expensive veterinary bills as of late.
    via Jo Szczepanska

    A representation of a donation box for a coworker who's had a bunch of expensive veterinary bills as of late. 

  • When they asked if I could contribute, I told them honestly that I was struggling financially and didn't have anything spare to give. (Which is true) They seemed to
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  • accept it, but ever since then I've been getting weird looks whenever I bring anything for lunch that isn't just a sandwich or use the vending machines.
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • Vending machines
    via Quilia

    Vending machines, which even people in financially difficult positions can afford to use every once in a while.

  • Fast forward to last week: I sold a few of Living De d Dolls on Facebook Marketplace. I ended up getting a good amount for them and used to optionally to putting half
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • the money into my own emergency fund giving myself a little extra cash for next week and used the other half to treat myself to trip to the movies and drinks with a
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • couple friends. I then stupidly made the mistake of posting a review of the movie and photos on Instagram. (I had no idea that anyone at work know about my
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • social media as I am not very active on social media) When I came into work the next day, I was chastised for "spending
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • money I could have donated." I panicked and lied, saying my friend bought the ticket and drinks for me as a late birthday present (my birthday was the week
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • before). Now I feel like I'm being watched. I'm worried that every time I post on social media, bring in something new, or even
    via u/Necessary-Book1855
  • bring something I already own but they haven't seen before, I'll get judged. I can't just quit, but I've already started looking for another job.
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  • So... AITA for choosing to take care of myself financially and emotionally instead of donating?
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  • Everyonecallsmenice "I'm not in a position to be donating money to anyone, and monitoring me to make sure I don't spend my own money is both unprofessional and something I would consider harassment." This isn't the situation to be a people pleaser or conflict avoidant.
    via u/Everyonecallsmenice
  • LabInner262 NTA. But you need to watch your back there. I'm getting negative vibes from this situation. You might casually start looking for a new job. Just don't let it be known that you are looking.
    via u/LabInner262
  • WonderingMe Friends only on your socials. And these people aren't your friends.
    via u/W0nderingMe
  • KaetzenOrkester Let alone family. "We're family here" jobs worst. are the
    via u/KaetzenOrkester
  • Fun-Spot663 This is so bizarre, you are under absolutely no obligation to donate your own money to cover someone else's bills (no matter how tragic). You are allowed to have nice things. This person can pick up extra hours or DoorDash or anything to cover vet bills. Their pet is not your responsibility.
    via u/Fun-Spot663
  • life-is-satire So absurd to come after someone who is broke themselves for not helping fund someone else's pet is wild.
    via u/life-is-satire
  • WavesnMountains Honestly, I would look at them and lock down my purse in the desk. They seem like the kind that would look thru your wallet
    via u/WavesnMountains

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employee work coworkers movies friends donations finances social media money entitled people
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