Mother argues with family members over going to a funeral for a distant family member she doesn't even visit, or her daughter's dance recital: 'I wouldn’t mind attending if it weren’t for my daughter’s recital.'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Jun 21, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

Very distant family member's funeral or your kid's dance recital?

Blended families can be hard sometimes. There is some kind of expectation floating around that you have to love the blended part of the family the same as the one you are biologically related to, and usually that is very possible to achieve, but not always. It is hard for some people to pretend they care that much for people who aren't biologically related to them, especially when no emotional bond was ever built with them. In those cases, is it really necessary to pretend? There are people that we like and people that we don't, pretending we like everyone the same, just because they are family, seems very hypocritical.

In this Reddit story, a mom is forced to choose between going to her father's mother-in-law's funeral, whom she explained they don't usually visit or have a relationship with, or going to her daughter's dance recital. There wasn't really a choice to make. She had decided from the beginning that she preferred her kid's activity over anything else. Her father was quite understanding at first, thinking she was going to come to the funeral alone and was just explaining the absence of the rest of the family, but that was not really the case. The mother wasn't going to go either. She had a previous commitment that she preferred. 
Hearing that someone is putting other people over you is hard, is understandable that the father feels taken aback and the mother-in-law finds it improper, but the truth is that the decision was up to the mother. She is the only one capable of dividing these things for herself. If she prefers to be present at her daughter's dance recital, then there's not much anyone can do. They can be mad at each other all they want, but that won't change the mother's choice in the matter. 
 

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