Single mom demands her male friend pay her bills, shames him in their friends group chat when he can't afford to help her anymore: 'She felt like people were dismissing how financially stressed she was.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 23, 2026 8:30 PM EDT

Why is it his job to pay her bills? 

Borrowing money from your girlfriend, parent, or best friend will likely hurt your relationship with them. It doesn't matter whether you pay the money back on time. The relationship shifts from buddy-buddy to lender-borrower, which is a totally different dynamic. Every time you hang out and every purchase the borrower makes will feel different because the fact that one friend owes money to the other friend is constantly in the back of your mind.

The best way to avoid such a situation is to give money to people rather than loan it. That way, it's a weight off of both of your shoulders, and it's a win-win! The giver feels good because they did something good for their friend, and the receiver gets the money they need! You shouldn't give someone money if you wouldn't be okay with taking that money out of the bank and setting it on fire. If that would make you viscerally uncomfortable, you aren't in a position to be gifting that money. You can't control how someone spends the money you give to them, so if you have a problem with them blowing it on scratch-offs or Mountain Dew Code Reds, you shouldn't be giving that money away. It doesn't matter if someone begs and begs you to give them dough: you should never part with more money than you're comfortable parting with. 

The mom in this story demands that her friend give her his money, even though he can barely afford to pay his own bills.

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  • A single mom and her baby son, who can barely afford to keep the roof over their heads right now, forcing her to resort to begging from her friends.
    via Alexander Grey

    Modes representing a single mom and her baby son, who can barely afford to keep the roof over their heads right now, forcing her to resort to begging from her friends. 

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my friend I can’t be someone’s financial backup plan?

    I'm "Stevie." I have a close friend, "Jules," who has a child and lives with her boyfriend. I care about her and her kid, and I've helped her financially before when I could,
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  • usually with things like gas, bills, or stuff for her child. Lately, though, it feels like my help has started becoming an expectation.
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  • Recently, I missed work and had a much smaller paycheck than usual. I still had all my normal bills to pay by myself. Around that same time, Jules made a comment on a
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  • call with me and my girlfriend, "Nancy," that she was basically counting on me getting paid. That bothered me because I was already financially stressed and
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  • didn't think it was fair for someone else to depend on my paycheck. A few days later, Jules asked me for money again while I was
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  • spending time with Nancy. When I couldn't help, she got upset and brought it into a group chat. Another friend tried to defend me by saying I had already had a rough
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  • paycheck and couldn't afford to help right then. Jules got upset with that friend because she felt like people were dismissing how financially stressed she was. After
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  • that, Jules barely talked to me for the weekend. Then she messaged me privately saying she was angry that I was talking about buying concert tickets when I "owe
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  • people money." For context, Nancy lives in another country, and we had been talking about her visiting me later this year. Part of that plan included us going to see
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  • two bands we both love. The concert is months away, and I wasn't buying the tickets right then. I was talking about possibly buying them with a future paycheck
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  • when I'd actually be able to afford them. Since the concert is still months away, the tickets are cheaper right now than they'll probably be later.
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  • Friends attending a concert together after buying tickets that they could afford after they got paid at their jobs.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A representation of friends attending a concert together after buying tickets that they could afford after they got paid at their jobs. 

  • I called Jules because I was confused about what money she thought I owed. She brought up money she had sent me before, but from what I can see after going
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  • through our payment apps, I had already paid her back in multiple payments, and more than the original amount. I've also sent smaller amounts here and there since then
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  • when she needed help. So when she said I owed her money, I told her that if she believes there's a specific amount I still owe, I need her to
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  • actually go through the payment history and tell me the amount instead of vaguely accusing me. I'm not refusing to pay back anything I genuinely owe, but from what I can see, I
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  • already paid her back and have continued helping beyond that. The conversation got heated. She started saying she does
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  • everything on her own and has her child to take care of. I told her I understand she's stressed, but I also have my own bills and I'm not her partner, spouse, or her
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  • child's parent. I told her I'm not financially responsible for her household. After the call, she texted me listing a bunch of expenses and said I didn't
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  • need to put her business out there. She also told me not to pay her back and sent some sarcastic messages. She then messaged Nancy about the money
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  • situation too, basically saying I owed her and she wasn't letting it go, which caused them to argue. I also recently found that she also asked Nancy for money before, so this
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  • does not feel like a one- time issue. I help when I can because I care, but I don't want my help to become something people expect from me or punish me
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  • over when I can't do it. AITAH for telling her I can't be her financial backup plan?
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  • D E CL
    via Chris Lynch

    A photo of what could be a young man wondering if he's wrong for telling his friend to pay her own bills because he's not responsible for her or her child financially. 

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boyfriend friends parenting girlfriend finances bills group chat money single mom
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