Bride to be considers not making her lifelong best friend her maid of honour because she didn't defend her when coworker made nasty remarks about the wedding: 'I worry I’m overreacting and 20 years of friendship should outweigh this situation'

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jun 28, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

From maid of honour to regular bridesmaid

The question this soon-to-be bride is asking sounds rhetorical, and I'm sure she will find that out sooner or later, and everyone will enjoy an amazing wedding celebration. In the meantime, we can discuss what makes her nervous and try to distinguish which part comes from the whole pre-wedding nervousness and which part comes from the actual issue being talked about.

Sometimes we're so angry about something we feel the need to make it known through an action, and forget all the 20 years of good things and friendship we have with a person. In such challenging times, I would advise always looking at the bigger picture. What would you do? Do you think a big, angry gesture is the key to teaching this friend some boundaries?

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