18-year-old holds her ground when parents expect her to hand over her old $1,000 laptop to 7-year-old half sister for free: 'Why should I be the one expected to absorb that cost?'

Author image for Celeste Mello
Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Jul 8, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

One thing is giving away something because you want to, and another is being told that something you bought suddenly belongs to a family member who wants it. That difference matters when it comes to a $1000 laptop you paid for yourself. 

This 18-year-old bought the laptop using her savings when she was around thirteen. She didn't receive it as a gift. She worked out a way to pay for it herself, then took care of it for years. Now that she is starting college, she's getting a new computer as a graduation gift. Suddenly, her parents are seeing her old laptop with new eyes. They want to give the laptop to her 7-year-old half-sister. 

Getting a new laptop doesn't erase the fact that the old computer still belongs to her. The parents think of this as basic math: we are buying the new college laptop, so that should count as payment for the old one. But those are separate things. A graduation gift is a graduation gift. An old laptop is an object that this teenager bought herself in the past. And as long as I'm concerned, a graduation gift is not the same as buying someone's used property from them. 

Besides, a 7-year-old is not exactly ready for the responsibility that comes with owning a laptop. And she already has an iPad, which has already brought problems. So, handing over another expensive device might be a bad idea. 

The most important thing is that being related doesn't allow you to claim someone's belongings for free. If the parents want the younger child to have a laptop, that's fine; they can buy one. But they shouldn't pressure the older daughter into absorbing the cost because she happens to own something useful. 

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  • A teenage girl using a laptop on the couch, illustrating a sibling conflict over a computer she bought herself.
    via Unsplash+ (Oleg Ivanov)

    A teenage girl using a laptop on the couch, illustrating a sibling conflict over a computer she bought herself.

    People shown are models.

  • AITAH for refusing to give my 7yr old sister my old computer unless someone pays me for it?

    I (18F) bought myself a laptop back in 2021, so I was about 13 then. It was around $1,000, and I had to pay for it all by myself with savings and a payment plan. No one helped me pay
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  • for it, and I've used it almost every day for school and personal use over the last few years.
    via Salty-Blueberry3869
  • I'm starting college soon and will be getting a new laptop that better fits what I need. Because of that, my parents (my father and step mother) have decided they want my old laptop
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  • to go to my 7yr old half sister. They are technically buying my new laptop, but more as a gift for college/graduating high school, but I'm paying the warranty on it.
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  • The problem is that they're acting like I should just hand it over for free because I'm getting a new one. I don't really think that's fair since I paid for it
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  • myself. If they want my sister to have it, I think they should buy it from me at a fair used price instead of expecting me to give away something I purchased.
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  • Old laptop on a student’s desk, representing the used $1,000 computer being the center of a family argument.
    via Unsplash+ (Yen Vu)

    Old laptop on a student's desk, representing the used $1,000 computer being the center of a family argument.

    This is a staged scene.

  • My parents think I'm being selfish and that it's "just gonna be sitting there" or I'm gonna "probably just throw it away anyway" once I get a new computer, so I should let my sister have it. They also
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  • think that because they're buying the new one for me, that's basically the same as buying the old one from me.
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  • Also my sister has a pretty large savings account for her future, and they would be taking the money out of that, so they aren't actually buying it, she would be.
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  • From their perspective, it stays in the family and benefits everyone. From my perspective, if they wanted to buy a laptop for her, or if she wanted to buy it for herself, they'd have to spend money anyway. Why should I be the one expected to absorb that cost just because I happen to own one?
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  • I also don't love the idea of giving a fairly expensive laptop to a 7yr old, especially when I've taken good care of it for years and, in my opinion, no 7yr
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  • old should own a laptop. I see no purpose for it, and she's already gotten herself in so much trouble with the iPad she already has.
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  • A young child using a tablet at home, representing the 7-year-old half-sister whose parents want to give her an older laptop.
    via Unsplash+ (Brooke Cagle)

    A young child using a tablet at home, representing the 7-year-old half-sister whose parents want to give her an older laptop.

    The image is illustrative.

  • Not to mention, my dad and I went to go pick out the new computer today. We bought it, and it won't arrive until Wednesday (5 days away). When my sister found out that I won't be getting it til Wednesday, she started throwing a
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  • fit, saying, "I want sissy's computer now!" along with crying and being overly dramatic. SO
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  • I have not one said that she could have my computer, and for them to assume that is just absolutely ridiculous to me. I would understand if they bought it and I truly had no purpose for it anymore, but there are still things I can use it for to keep my personal/school things separate.
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  • So now there's tension because I'm refusing to hand it over unless they pay me a reasonable amount for it (like $150-300 since it's 5 years old and has been used pretty regularly, but still in very good condition).
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  • So am I the ah le for refusing to give my old laptop to my 7yr old sister unless my parents or my sister pay me for it?
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  • Weak Armadillo6575 I'm on the fence here. As much as gifts shouldn't come with attachments, the new laptop is gonna cost a lot more than your old one would sell for. Can your parents maybe help you out with that warranty cost?
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  • FinePossession 1085 A 7-year-old shouldn't be let loose on a computer. That's crazy. Are you planning to sell said computer? If not, then what are you going to do with it other than let it collect dust?
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  • NotUniqueScott To me, the answer hinges on how you've been treated by your father and stepmother in the past. Do they have a history of being stingy with you (and/or being generous with your sister)? Did you ask them to buy you a laptop in 2021 (or contribute to the purchase price), only to get turned down and told to buy it yourself? Do
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  • they pay for your vehicle? Are they paying for your schooling? Do they respect your autonomy? If they have been fair with you over the years, then I would advise you to give the laptop to your sister. On the other hand, if they have a history of treating you poorly......then I'd say that it's justifiable to stand firm and insist on being paid.
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  • Another thing to consider is whether your father might withhold funding if you refuse to give over the laptop for free. In that scenario, I'd give her the laptop and just consider the 'transaction' to be the cost of doing business.
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Tags

family dynamics family drama family money old laptop college computer half sister sister
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