Employee resigns after three years without a single raise, boss gets offended they didn't “give her a heads-up” about the decision: ‘I rejected attempts at a counteroffer’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 15, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

How long can an employee last in a workplace without getting a raise?

With the state of the world today, a pay raise has become a necessity that is almost a must for every employee. Prices go up, gas, rent, and groceries are more expensive every day, and your salary needs to rise at least in line with the rest of the world in order for you to keep up. But does that actually happen? Do employers give their workers raises every time the price of eggs goes up?

In our dreams, maybe.

Instead, employees find themselves stuck in the same workplaces, working the same jobs, with the same salary for years and years. Every few months, they go to their boss's office and ask for what they earned, and every time, they leave disappointed. Until, at least, they realized they can proabably do better somewhere else. Why stay somewhere that offers you nothing in return?

That is what led the employee below to look for another job. For three years, they have worked in the same company, and for three years, they didn't get a single raise. No matter how many times they asked, and no matter how many times their boss promised that she was working on it, nothing changed. So, the employee decided to turn their efforts into looking for another job, and after a search, they found a better-paying job and decided to resign.

What they didn't expect when they handed in their resignation letter was for their boss to act so surprised. Not only did she claim that the resignation was unexpected, but she actually felt offended that the employee didn't share that they were looking for a new job in the first place. According to her, if she had known, she would have pushed for a raise even harder.

Who thinks about telling their boss that they are looking for a new job? Why would anyone do that? Those are the questions the employee is now left with. To help them find answers, read the full story below.

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  • 01

    Gave my notice. Boss offended I didn’t give her a heads up about applying elsewhere.

    I (27F) have been with my current company for 3 years. I've known since early on that it's a toxic work environment with extremely high turnover,
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 02
    but my department has been relatively stable and I like my coworkers.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 03
    Employee telling her manager that she's resigning.
    via Toa Heftiba

    Employee telling her manager that she's resigning.

    Subjects are models.

  • 04
    I feel like I've done all that I can to make things work over the past 3 years. The hours are awful, and it's fully in person, but I've dealt with it. I outgrew
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 05
    my first position, so instead of looking for a job elsewhere, I found a new path internally that was a much better fit. However, it's come with MUCH higher responsibility.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 06
    Our team is small, and my boss and I are the only ones who do our particular job. She's always overwhelmed, and everything I've done has been in service to her.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 07
    Here's the kicker: I've never gotten a raise. Once I moved into my new role, I didn't get a raise. I didn't ask, which I understand I should have, but my
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 08
    workplace is also very much a "take on responsibility now, prove yourself, and then we'll see if you're worth more money."
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 09
    Back in January (2.5 years after I started and about a year into the new role), I finally asked to be properly compensated at baseline for my role. We're talking a $15k difference.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 10
    My boss was on board, but it's July now, and the process has been grinding on with no end in sight. The updates I get are "we're working on it." Note:
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 11
    it's out my direct boss's hands and in the hands of our department's director and HR.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 12
    At this point, it's well known that I have been waiting and that the process has been ridiculous.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 13
    I started applying for jobs and secured an incredible position at a huge well-known company in the area. It's hybrid with an actually full staff, and my salary will be
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 14
    $13k more than I even asked my current company for. That's a total of a $28k increase!
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 15
    I told my boss the other day, and her reaction floored me. First thing she said was, "you could've given me a heads up!" She went on and on
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 16
    about how I know that if I just told her I was applying for jobs, she wouldn't have fired me, and it would've given her time to find a higher-level replacement. She's going on
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 17
    maternity leave in a few months. She took offense that I didn't talk to her on a personal level. She said she would've pushed harder for my raise (like she would've
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 18
    pushed our director or HR I guess?) or that we could've worked out a hybrid situation (my company is VERY strict about in person, so I don't understand how this would've
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 19
    been possible.) She even said "well now I'm f' ed.” My only defense was telling her I didn't think it was customary to tell your boss you're looking for a new job.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 20
    She kept saying "but it's me, you know I wouldn't have fired you." She even took a jab at me by bringing up that I should've asked for a raise when I first
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 21
    made the job switch. She said, "and you never asked for a raise before this? Hmm." She's always had a negative attitude and way of blaming people.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 22
    Needless to say I rejected attempts at a counter offer. I feel crazy, please tell me it's not customary to give a heads up that you want to leave??? Any and all advice welcome.
    via Sea-Caterpillar4774
  • 23
    MatthewCorbett92 It's not customary to tell your boss that you want to leave or give them a heads up. You aren't even required to give a notice. They fire people all the time without notices and over B reasons, so we have
    via MatthewCorbett92
  • 24
    the right to quit. It goes both ways. Even if she gave you a raise, it wouldn't compare to the raise you get by leaving. Just
    via MatthewCorbett92
  • 25
    focus on your new job and forget about her. She seems like a terrible manager and person.
    via MatthewCorbett92
  • 26
    Wrex06 That is her heads up. Not your problem anymore. Also, do not train anyone to replace you. That's their job too.
    via Wrex06
  • 27
    WholeFudds If they want to keep you, then they would have given you the raise. I would bet that they have no intention of giving it to you anyway and are just giving you the run around.
    via WholeFudds
  • 28
    Two workers talking.
    via Getty Images

    Two workers talking.

    Subjects are models.

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employment issues boss employee manager job work pay raise company quitting resignation
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