Previous homeowner demands to pick plums from backyard fruit tree, gets upset when current homeowner refuses: 'The tree had meaning to her family'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 15, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Should tradition always override a right to personal property?

Saying goodbye to a well-loved home can be hard, but nonetheless, it is often a necessary part of life. When people pass or need to move away, they and those around them are given no choice but to leave behind all the memories made in that place. If somebody doesn't want to give it up, then they should hang on to the property.

When you stay in the same area, it is kind of weird to live in close proximity to a home that used to be such an integral part of your life, but is now a place where a stranger lives. No matter how much you may still want access to it, once it has changed hands, it is not your place to demand continued access. Once a property is occupied by another owner, it is time to move on. It is possible to make new memories while still honoring the old ones, and that is a necessity when you can no longer enter a beloved family home whenever you please. The new inhabitant of the home should be able to enjoy the place that they live without feeling encroached upon. 

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  • A representation of the back of a woman wearing a wide-brimmed hat picking plums from a tree branch
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A representation of the back of a woman wearing a wide-brimmed hat picking plums from a tree branch

  • A woman was attached to a plum tree that grew in the backyard of her late mom's old house, but the home had recently been sold to somebody else. When she asked if she could pick some plums from the tree, the new owner agreed, but was dismayed to find that she and her husband took nearly all the plums and left a mess behind in their yard.

    The next year, the owner refused to let her pick any plums when she asked again. The woman felt this was unfair because of the sentimental value that the tree had, but the homeowner maintained that they had a right to assert their boundaries.

  • Am I wrong for telling the previous owner of my house she can't come pick fruit from my tree anymore?

    I bought my house last summer and theres a big plum tree in the backyard. A few weeks after moving in, the previous owner messaged me saying her late mother planted it and asked if she could collect some plums when they were ready. I said sure because I understood the sentimental part.
    via NoBad1026
  • When she came over she brought her husband, two buckets and a ladder. They picked nearly every ripe plum, including branches hanging over my patio, and left a bunch of broken twigs and fruit on the ground. I barely got any myself. Apparently her family has used those plums to make jam every year for almost 20 years.
    via NoBad1026
  • She contacted me again asking what weekend she can come this year. I told her I planned on keeping the fruit this time since the tree is on my property and I actually want to make something with it. She got pretty upset and said I knew the tree had meaning to her family. She even offered me a few jars of jam, but that isnt really the point. I spent a lot of money fixing up this yard and I dont want people treating part of it like it still belongs to them.
    via NoBad1026
  • My sister thinks I should let her take one bucket because its a family tradition and costs me nothing. I feel bad about the connection to her mom, but I also dont think buying a house means the old owners get yearly access to whatever they miss.
    via NoBad1026
  • A representation of a pair of hands picking plums from a tree branch
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A representation of a pair of hands picking plums from a tree branch

  • Aromatic_Recipe1749 If you hear from her again, tell her that truth. You were shocked that they came and greedily picked virtually ALL the fruit last year. To top it off they left a mess behind for you to clean up. Perhaps if they had shown a little class and consideration you'd be more generous but they blew it.
    via Aromatic_Recipe1749
  • Big_Year_526 Put it in writing, be polite but firm. "Dear x, I want to clarify that I have not agreed to you having access to my property every year. Last year I was not happy with the fact that you took almost every piece of fruit, not the state you left my property in after picking.
    via Big_Year_526
  • In order to avoid further confusion, I do not give you permission to come on my property or harvest plums this year."
    via Big_Year_526
  • Similar_Corner8081 NTJ My goodness if she had just picked a few off the tree it would have been better. She picked them all. Your tree your fruit.
    via Similar_Corner8081
  • AnlcyReception NTJ If that tree was so important, she shouldn't have sold it
    via AnIcyReception
  • MargotFenring You are going to come home to find your fruit gone. Time to set up a camera.
    via MargotFenrig
  • unrepentantlibboomer NTJ. While I understand their attachment to the tree, they sold the property and the tree is no longer theirs. It was kind of you to allow them to pick the plums one last time after the house sold. They need to move on now.
    via unrepentantlibboomer
  • champy8j NTJ. Shouldn't have put the house up on the market if you still wanted some stuff that was there.
    via champy8j
  • jonnywannamingo That's YOUR tree now. Some people are ridiculous.
    via jonnywannamingo
  • No-Needleworker 1401 No, she can plant a new tree in her yard.
    via No-Needleworker1401
  • Possible_Patience_84 Absolutely NTJ. I can't believe the nerve. It is now your tree. She ruined the arrangement by being greedy.
    via Possible_Patience_84
  • gustin444 Nope. Make a boundary and stick to it. You were kind to allow her to pick the plums last year, and then they took advantage. Stripping the tree and leaving a mess was incredibly disrespectful and entitled. Now it's time to draw a hard line, telling her off if necessary. She sold the house and the tree. It belongs to another
    via gustin444

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neighbors homeowner fruit entitled people
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