‘Imagine trying to share your favorite sci-fi or Reddit meme with someone who doesn't comprehend... It's loneliness’ : 33-year-old woman at the end of her wits with finding a partner and is thinking about using an international marriage agency

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 29, 2026 1:40 AM EDT

The infamous dating pool

If dating is hard, I can't imagine how hard finding a husband is. I tend to think these sorts of problems arise from the approach we're taking to dating and not from the dating pool itself. She says some interesting things about her and her relationship with the internet; she says she loves video games, Reddit, CDs. To me, that sounds like a very interesting person; I get the feeling she is looking for dates in the wrong places. I always say this to one of my single friends who's always actively looking for dates (don't get me wrong, I'm also single myself, I'm just not looking for dates right now). She gets very frustrated when THE ACCOUNTANT SHE MET ON TINDER doesn't understand her interest in Dostoyevsky, and I'm like: He's an accountant from Tinder. What I mean is this: I tend to believe you shouldn't look for love or dates. I believe you should look for activities that you love, and you will eventually meet people to love there. To me, this is as clear as it gets. Finding love on Tinder is like finding love backwards. You have a free position in your life, and somebody comes to fill it, and you pick from an array of characteristics. That's just not how love works; in love, you meet somebody you like first, and only afterwards you make a space for them in your life; that's it. At least that's how I think about it: you go at it from a place of lack, or you go at it from a place of genuine desire. I understand different people have different social skills and backgrounds, though, but that would still be my advice to her if she were my friend…

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  • woman showing a wedding ring
    via nathan mullet

    The woman finally finding her husband

    Subject is a model

  • I'm (f33) at the end of my wits with finding a partner (m25-40). Thinking of international marriage agency

    To preface this, I'm Russian (f33), speak English freely, have alright Norwegian and learn languages easily. I actually love that. What I don't love is Russian Negative Cloud™, lack of men (bc u
    via homunculusdm
  • know what happened), constant tense atmosphere and fear for the future as it doesn't seem bright. The noose feels constantly tightening. I was basically raised on the internet: 4ch, reddit-
    via homunculusdm
  • like forums, videogames, anime CDs etc. Learned the language early and never regretted the wealth of resources it gave me. I've been alone for nearly four years, maybe more after a disastrous divorce
    via homunculusdm
  • with a person I used to be in love with. It was a great blow that took away my trust, but also showed me my own flaws. He was a foreigner and I had a good -4 years of living in Norway (studying
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  • and working). Then my ex- husband failed the family visa requirements and I got kicked out of the country, broken and drained. For the last couple years I've been trying different
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  • ways to find someone to date (in Russia): local boardgame evenings, speaking clubs, dating apps, going out to walk around downtown, participating in events etc. It's not working. I don't see. anyone who can spell, has
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  • good hygiene, doesn't have f ed up teeth, shares any interests with me and can speak English. I work and spend most of my time on the internet (ESL tutor), and yes, I do go hiking, cycling and hanging out
    via homunculusdm
  • near empty wineglasses beside bucket with wine bottle
    via Mattia Trabalza

    Yet another date

    Representative image

  • but! Imagine trying to share your favorite sci-fi or reddit meme with someone who doesn't comprehend... It's loneliness. I've even tried to find someone on reddit, guys.
    via homunculusdm
  • A friend told me to check out something like a foreign marriage agency and at first I bristled. Mail bride? I don't want to be a package.
    via homunculusdm
  • Then the self-image kicked in: no pretty nails, no fillers, no stylish haircut. I'm earning my living and not much more than that, I don't look polished. I'm all in a disarray about this, but what if I could find
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  • someone who isn't a negative local guy who shares nothing with me and loves the president? I'm not trying to dig the proverbial gold, I'm just withering despite having friends but no one closer.
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  • TLDR: is using an international marriage agency a scam for a Slavic woman? What else could I do?
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  • asteroida Well, think of the men who may use a marriage agency and are looking for Eastern European woman? Would you be interested in them?
    via homunculusdm
  • person holding phone with tinder in it
    via Mika Baumeister

    The app the woman tried before

    Representation

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Dating-Relationships relationship advice dating fails marriage marriage drama relationships online dating toxic relationship dating
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