20-year-olds decide first to save $10k has to give the other $1000, friend refuses to make good on deal years later: 'So where’s my thousand?'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 17, 2026 11:45 AM EDT

When is a promise not actually a promise?

Nobody likes to have a flaky friend. Being around somebody who constantly says they are going to do things and then never follows through can be mighty annoying; it often gets to the point where it no longer seems to be worth the effort to be friends anymore. Above all else, it seems to show a lack of appreciation for whatever the benefits of the friendship may bring, and that stings.

That being said, who among us hasn't promised something that we haven't ended up doing every once in a while? It is pretty normal, for example, to tell somebody that you should hang out at a certain time, and then that doesn't materialize for whatever reason. 

Ultimately, the strength of a friendship rests on both the magnitude and quantity of broken promises. Most people will let the small things slide at least once or twice, but if it becomes or pertains to a bigger issue, things could get difficult. A refusal to follow through on the things that really matter to the other person could be the sign of a bad friend, but it is sometimes context-dependent.

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  • Two men look at each other while smiling, with one holding a glass.
    via Donovan Grabowski

    Two men look at each other while smiling, with one holding a glass. Model representation. 


     

  • A pair of friends made an agreement with each other when they were both 20 and financially struggling. They said that the first person to be able to save $10,000 would give the other one $1,000. They spent years talking and joking about this deal that they had made.

    The two went down different paths with their finances: one was more inclined to spend his money and live beyond his means, and the other was more careful about spending and saving. He eventually hit the $10k goal, and when he told his friend, he wanted his money.

    He didn't believe he needed to give him the cash, as he didn't take the agreement seriously. It was causing a rift in their friendship.

  • Am I wrong for refusing to give my friend $1,000?

    When I was 20, a friend and and I were both broke and constantly talking about how we needed to get our lives together. One night drinking beers and shooting the sh we made a deal: whoever saved $10,000 first would give the other person $1,000. Over the next few years,
    via LumenSailor
  • we brought it up constantly. Whenever one of us bought something stupid, the other would say, "There goes the ten grand." Eventually, I started taking my finances seriously. I worked extra hours, stopped going out as much, drove an older car, and passed on things I wanted.
    via LumenSailor
  • My friend went in the opposite direction. He went out constantly, financed a newer car, took trips, and basically lived paycheck to paycheck. A few months ago, I finally hit $10,000. When finances came up, he laughed and said, "So where's my thousand?" I thought he was joking.
    via LumenSailor

  • He was taken aback at his friend's entitlement to his money.

    He wasn't. He reminded me that we'd shaken on it and that I'd spent years acknowledging the deal. I told him the entire point was to motivate each other to save money. Giving away 10% of my savings because I actually followed through seemed ridiculous. He was annoyed, but eventually dropped it.
    via LumenSailor
  • Then, a month later, his car broke down. The repair is almost exactly $1,000. He asked me for the money again, except this time he wasn't laughing. He said he genuinely needs it, doesn't have enough saved, and could lose his job if he can't reliably get to work.
    via LumenSailor
  • I still said no. He told me, "You literally have the money because you spent years making better decisions than me. I'm not asking for charity. I'm asking you to honor something you promised."
    via LumenSailor

  • The friend felt like he had been betrayed.

    Then he said something that actually bothered me: "You were perfectly happy calling it a promise when you thought you might be the one getting the money." Now some of our friends think I should pay because a deal is a deal. Others think it's insane that I'm expected to hand over money I worked for because of something two broke 20-year-olds agreed to.
    via LumenSailor
  • A man's hands open a black wallet with cards and cash inside.
    via Emil Kalibradov

    A man's hands open a black wallet with cards and cash inside. Still frame for contextual reference only.


     

  • Perhaps it would have been better to keep their financial situations private.

    Celebratory_Drink YTA. Why did you even tell him you had 10k saved?
    via Celebratory_Drink
  • Even_Budget2078 YTA You spent years acknowledging the deal.
    via Even_Budget2078
  • Pangolin|||1347 Yeah, I'd give my friend the $1k. A deal is a deal. You both agreed on it and you'd both spoken about it over the years.
    via PangolinIll1347

  • This was much more than a joke to this friend.

    CommercialBreak2026 Sorry, but you're out the $1,000. You made a handshake deal, and those deals actually mean something.
    via CommercialBreak2026
  • Your FRIEND needs the money now to get his car repaired. Give him the money, and save another $1,000. If nothing else, it will be good for your Karma.
    via CommercialBreak2026

  • It didn't put the saver in a good light.

    snickerssmores YTA. There was no stipulation saying you both had to save and get finances in order. You agreed to whoever made $10,000 first. You're the winner who is trying to wiggle out of a deal. Give him the thousand and honor your deal otherwise your word is never to be trusted.
    via snickerssmores
  • longtimewatcher ESH stupid people win stupid prizes
    via longtimewatcher
  • uppercasemad YTA Maybe you could use the "it was a joke" excuse if you hadn't kept it running for years and years.
    via uppercasemad
  • shappa357 Congrats on being able to save 10,000. Now honor the deal you shook on, he gets to keep his car and job and you get to keep a years long friendship.
    via shappa357
  • Perhaps down the road he'll be able to help you out when you need it. Give him the money and never mention it again.
    via shappa357
  • freddidbnah1 YTA. A deal is a deal. A man's word is his bond. Put your money where your mouth is, or was.
    via freddidbnah1

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