Damn You, Ryan Gosling

If you think "The Notebook" sets your girlfriend's expectations too high, just try seeing "Drive." Soon she'll expect you to take down at least two heads of organized crime before she'll even think to consider the possibility that you're really committed. Damn you, Ryan Gosling! Oh well, if her expectations are that high you can always date a sex doll instead like Lars from "Lars and the Real Girl." Thank you, Ryan Gosling!