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39 Hilariously Eavesdrop-tastic Overheard Conversations

People are weirder than you thought.

mattstaff Posted by mattstaff
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  • 1
    Text - "Are you a morning person or a night person?" "I don't like being alive at any time of day, thank you very much." Coverheardla
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  • 2
    Text - "Beards are the push-up bras of men's faces. Once you take them off, you realize everything's a lie." @overheardmarinasf
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  • 3
    Text - "You know Union St. Festival is going well when the Walgreens on Chestnut is completely sold out of Plan B. Where do I go now?" @overheardmarinasf
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  • 4
    Text - "I really want to have a threesome." "Me too!" "...not with you." Coverheardlondon
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  • 5
    Text - "She def just moved here." "How'd you know?" "She posted a pic of her and a red phone box with the caption 'London calling'" Coverheardlondon
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  • 6
    Text - *6 year old, swinging on a pole on the tube Mother: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Child: "A pole dancer." @overheardlondon
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  • 7
    Text - Woman, quietly to her friend: "This matcha tea is vile." Waitress: "How is it?" Woman: "Lovely! Everything is delicious!" Coverheardlondon
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  • 8
    Text - Policeman: "Are you sure you haven't been smoking cannabis? Your eyes are very red." Teenager: "Naaah fam! Hay fever is mad out here!" Coverheardlondon
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  • 9
    Text - "All I took from the hotel was lube and earplugs... you know, the essentials." Coverheardlondon
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  • 10
    Text - *Man reading emails on his phone "No, I don't want to read your new FUCKING privacy policy." Coverheardlondon
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  • 11
    Text - Student 1: "Do you think there will be a curve?" Student 2: "I'm agnostic with curves; I believe a curve may exist but I don't think it will help me." @overhearduniversity
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  • 12
    Text - Professor to students: "Remember this exam doesn't define you as a person... that's what your Instagram likes are for." Coverhearduniversity
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  • 13
    Text - Man on the train: "Siri text Stephanie; I'm pressing charges when I get to a computer." Coverheardnewyork
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  • 14
    Text - "You got married quite young!" "Yeah it was around the time when Beyoncé came out with that bloody 'Put a Ring On It' song... so I guess Beyoncé trolled me into proposing." Coverheardlondon
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  • 15
    Text - Girl to Barista: "Can I get a Tall Blonde Vanilla Latte... I just described most of the girls here." Coverhearduniversity
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  • 16
    Text - "The difference between Brits and Americans is simple. In America, there are awkward silences; in England, the silences are hostile." Coverheardlondon
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  • 17
    Text - "Uh... He doesn't need to post a photo every time he goes on a hike. Don't get me wrong, I love hiking, it's just not that much of an accomplishment. It's Runyon canyon not Kilimanjaro." Coverheardla
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  • 18
    Text - Professor: "Nomadic tribes used to cross vast distances, in order to find food and pasture for their livestock." Student: "Imagine how many steps they got each week." Coverhearduniversity
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  • 19
    Text - Guy to friend: "Dude, I'm going so hard right now; I've got three computer monitors, two juuls and 30mg of adderall" Boverhearduniversity
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  • 20
    Text - "Love your eye shadow!" "It's actually eczema, but thanks!" Coverheardlondon
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  • 21
    Text - Professor on the last day of class: "Part of what I aimed to do in this course was confuse you." @overhearduniversity
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  • 22
    Text - "The next station currently is closed due to flooding. I'll keep you posted though, as the situation is very fluid." Coverheardlondon
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  • 23
    Text - "I just wish they would choose a less vocal medium for their protests...like maybe next time they could just write in their diary or something." Coverhearduniversity
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  • 24
    Text - "I just want to find a fit bird who gets me like memes do." Coverheardlondon
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  • 25
    Text - "Oh I missed that class. That was the day I accidentally took a nap from 10am to 6pm." Coverhearduniversity
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  • 26
    Text - "What's the coolest vegetable." "Broccoli. It's like eating a little tree." Boverheardnewyork
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  • 27
    Text - "I'm exhausted. I need to sleep for like 2 weeks. I actually think there's something to those medically induced comas. Your hair grows, they give you facials every day, you lose weight. It's a real chance to rejuvenate." Coverheardla
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  • 28
    Text - "Did he get you anything?" "He's planning something; the other day I saw his browser open to a Google search 'What to buy a fashionista." Boverheardnewyork
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  • 29
    Text - "Chicago feels like New York with a condom on." Coverheardnewyork
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  • 30
    Text - "In New York we read books, in LA they read palms." Coverheardnewyork
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  • 31
    Text - Economics professor: "The idea of luxury goods is that when you make more money, you'll stop buying boxed mac & cheese and buy something like wild rice instead." Student in back row: "What the fuck is wild rice?" Coverhearduniversity
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  • 32
    Text - "Graduating sucks. On campus I'm a 9, but in the real world I'm about a 7." Coverhearduniversity
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  • 33
    Text - TSA Agent: "Ma'am, you can't bring yogurt through security." Woman: "It's not yogurt, it's chia pudding." Coverheardla
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  • 34
    Text - Babysitter to child crying in stroller: "Oh Daisy, Daisy, you're rich, you'll be fine." Coverheardnewyork
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  • 35
    Text - "I can't stand LA; It's a gluten-free lazy town and everyone is either a vegan, a fitness maniac, or a model/actor/YouTuber. I'm losing brain cells by the minute but I think I'm getting healthier." Coverheardla
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  • 36
    Text - "What if this is a Carrie situation?" "Bradshaw or drenched in blood?" Coverheardla
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  • 37
    Text - "Remember when getting drunk meant losing control and making bad decisions? Now it just means remaining calm at shitty social functions." Coverheardla
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  • 38
    Text - "... I'm putting dating on hold. They keep asking me what I do for a living and it's daunting to keep up with the lie that I actually have a job." Coverheardla
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  • 39
    Text - Girl, to her friend, who is curled up and visibly scared after seeing a cockroach: "You're a vet, Michelle!" Coverheardnewyork
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