An Open Letter To Jeff Bezos

Itzik Shasho is a writer and a true believer in internet culture. always looking online for the next thing that will make him go wattttt? hates avocado.

A few days ago it was reported by The Intercept that Amazon is discussing the option to ban 42 keywords from the company's internal messaging app. As we understand it, the app is supposed to function as a social media platform for employees to engage with each other.

Even if you overlook the fact that this giant of a company is considering screening their employees' language, you have to wonder what some of the banned words have in common. 

Sure, we're living in a time when some of the words on Amazon list - like `diversity` and `freedom` - can lead to an all out PC storm. But then you find on the same list words like `restroom` or `union` and you start to think maybe there is a bigger picture here. 

Meanwhile, an Amazon spokesperson responded, saying “This particular program has not been approved yet and may change significantly or even never launch at all.”

Well, then we remembered we're just here for the laughs, so we've written an open letter to Jeff Bezos, using 20 words that were banned for use on the new Amazon worker’s chat app.

Dear Jeff,

My name is Billy, and I'm writing this letter from prison. I lost my freedom and ended up here because I tried to sell corona vaccine to some robots.  To you it may sound stupid or rude, and i guess you can say this is dumb, but i don’t care.  As a true pioneer in the area of diversity and as a master of innovation yourself, I'm certain you will be happy to issue a petition for my release + a large compensation. 

I believe you can appreciate the injustice and harassment I have endured fighting for representation and fairness  for these electro-mechanical bastards. Just because they don't have a union, it doesn't mean they should be treated like trash. 

I have to go now, because someone set my restroom on fire. 

Hope to hear from you soon. 

Billy.