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40 Brilliant Tweets From 2018 That Broke The 100K Retweet Barrier

These tweets are why we will never ever leave twitter!

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  • 1
    Text - Chase Follow @mrmakethings When my girlfriend makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail. It heals me spiritually 9:20 AM 11 Dec 2018 147,552 Retweets 848,610 Likes
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  • 2
    Text - Mor-Manger Follow @Mormonger Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s 3:22 PM - 18 Mar 2018 109,451 Retweets 434,324 Likes
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  • 3
    Text - Josh Follow @LoserCrew I fucking love toast, what absolute genius took a bite of bread and was like "cook it again", unreal 4:26 PM - 10 Sep 2018 202,264 Retweets 831,409 Likes
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  • 4
    Text - blizzy Follow @BlairAlzuro Why do airplane tickets have to be so expensive!! Having separate continents is so stupid retweet if you miss pangaea 8:35 AM 13 Jun 2018 235,166 Retweets 471,586 Likes
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  • 5
    Text - Felicity Follow @FlossAus I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running to the bathroom/fridge/bedroom in a single ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming "It's ONNNNNN" to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time. 4:18 PM - 14 Oct 2018 288,422 Retweets 1,041,242 Likes
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  • 6
    Text - mario Follow @mario_xCx shopping cart: $1000 me: omg what a deal shipping: $5 me: QUEEN @NICKIMINAJ U know what? Bye. LMFAOOOO0 2:56 PM - 25 Jun 2018 110,517 Retweets 334,645 Likes
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  • 7
    Text - Peter Follow @OkigboXL PSA: Don't EVER let your printer know that you've waited until the last minute to print something out and you're in hurry because they can sense fear. 6:05 PM 23 Nov 2018 126,064 Retweets 559,210 Likes
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  • 8
    Text - m. diane Follow @CULTMOTHER told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??" it's like, you know what, you're right, I'm cancelling my subscription 1:15 PM 11 Jun 2018 133,367 Retweets 563,918 Likes
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  • 9
    Vehicle - aight bro I'm bout to head out Follow @nicksparks94 When I have no idea how to comfort my friends but I try anyway 1:08 PM 25 Apr 2018 from East Peoria, IL 116,132 Retweets 187,169 Likes
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  • 10
    Text - rav Follow @Doughbvy *on Ellen* ELLEN: so i hear u tweet about wanting to die ME: haha yeah, i do *Death comes out, creeps up behind me* ME: omg ellen you didnt 12:30 PM 8 May 2018 139,227 Retweets 507,175 Likes
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  • 11
    Text - grandmother slime Follow @artyintheuk if I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online it's not that I lied it's just that I failed 8:03 PM 28 Aug 2018 145,091 Retweets 404,167 Likes
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  • 12
    Text - stüss the holiday goose @StussyTheGoat Follow brain: break it me: why? brain: you gotta eco 9:27 AM 14 Aug 2018 100,518 Retweets 275,932 Likes
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  • 13
    Text - Amy Fowler Follow @AmyAbroad Doing my makeup on the train this morning and a random man told me he likes women to have a more natural look. I told him I like men to have a more silent look. 1:19 AM - 15 Aug 2018 140,536 Retweets 785,997 Likes
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  • 14
    Text - Kevin Farzad Follow @KevinFarzad canceling plans is ok. staying home to cook is ok. disappearing for a bit to get your life together is ok. resurfacing in a foreign country with a new name 10 years later is ok. it's called self care 12:13 PM - 13 Jan 2018 153,451 Retweets 440,200 Likes
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  • 15
    Text - kyle Follow @itsdjluigi The problem with "treat yo self" is that I don't know how to stop. I had a bad day in April and I've been treating myself ever since 7:06 PM - 18 Jul 2018 122,626 Retweets 366,792 Likes
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  • 16
    Text - grace @skinnyybrat Follow water is rly that bitch. zero calories, hydrating, home for fish, beautiful in nature, etc. like she did NOT have to go that hard. but she did. and i am grateful 7:08 AM - 21 Jul 2018 137,525 Retweets 473,173 Likes
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  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 9249223680
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  • 18
    Text - abb Follow @abblucia Girls don't actually shop we just walk round touching the clothes saying 'this is cute' 5:47 AM - 1 Oct 2018 167,515 Retweets 654,272 Likes
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  • 19
    Text - amanda Follow @amanda_c_rae Me: "Wow my skin has actually been so clear lately" Acne: Cher @cher Hi again 7:03 PM - 31 Jul 2018 104,303 Retweets 314,546 Likes CIRVY FASHION
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  • 20
    Text - f thot fitzgerald Follow @dracomallfoys level 1: venting by crying level 10: venting by faking a conversation in your head with someone level 113: venting by creating an intricate alternate universe scenario in ur head where ur a celebrity on a talk show dramatically explaining the shit u've been going thru 3:43 AM - 16 Jan 2018 103,771 Retweets 299,755 Likes
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  • 21
    Text - hana Follow @hanamurray3 The egg don't swim to the sperm bitch never chase a man 11:49 AM 27 Feb 2018 148,066 Retweets 416,815 Likes
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  • 22
    Text - Flanny @LiamFlannigan1 Follow Fucking class having a shower at your girlfriends. Using stuff like a charcoal facial scrub and a pomegranate & mango shower milk, I've came out the shower smelling like a fresh fruit market on a hot summers day, feeling like a brand new woman. 13/10 would recommend. 2:25 PM 20 Jun 2018 98,891 Retweets 613,828 Likes
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  • 23
    Text - Kyle Brownlee Follow @_kylebrownlee a how are unicorns fake but giraffes are real like what's more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard-moose-camel with a 40 foot neck 6:40 AM - 14 Jul 2018 Jesssss 139,222 Retweets 497,590 Likes
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  • 24
    Cartoon - Thomas Abowd Follow @ThomasAbowd Yeah, I can fit it in my schedule ids 7:43 PM 18 Aug 2018 109,213 Retweets 241,896 Likes
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  • 25
    Text - alexis Follow @alexismayse u know when ur playing cards against humanity & u think ur card is unbelievably funny & the person reads it out loud & not a single person laughs ya that shit hurts 12:28 PM 14 Jul 2018 128,422 Retweets 590,068 Likes
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  • 26
    Text - trectodactyl Follow @arvintgod IF A BABY HANDS YOU A FAKE PHONE YOU BETTER ANSWER THAT SHIT 9:52 PM 27 Jun 2018 from Paradise, NV 114,183 Retweets 365,105 Likes
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  • 27
    Text - Agathot Christie Follow @AdulteRus my organs: ..wate....pl. me, pouring a glass of wine: come get y'all juice!! 4:50 PM 19 Mar 2018 101,849 Retweets 369,715 Likes H
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  • 28
    Text - baby grinch Follow @emmabetsinger There's plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? Trash. There is a lot of trash in the sea. 4:44 PM - 7 Jul 2018 151,326 Retweets 398,197 Likes
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  • 29
    Product - lucas Follow @lostboy im crying im so happy for them LATR E
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  • 30
    Text - Amy Carroll @Carroll_Amy_ Follow the Purge but instead of killing for 24 hours we get to talk to customers the way they talk to us 7:50 AM 9 Nov 2018 169,001 Retweets 501,696 Likes
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  • 31
    Text - VICK MONTOYA Follow @vickmontoyaa "what's your WiFi password" "It's on the back of the router" Router: @ladygaga Lady Gaga AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRHRGRGRGRRRGURBHJB EORWPSOJWPJORGWOIRGWSGODEWPGOHEPW09GJEDPOKSD!!!!!!! 1 24QU8T63095JRGHWPE09UJOPWWHRGW 9:38 AM - 16 Sep 2018 216,182 Retweets 649,197 Likes
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  • 32
    Text - anthony Follow @xforcades2 "I'll see" I'm not coming, never was coming, never considered it, never gave it a second thought, only remembered because you asked again 3:16 PM - 12 Oct 2018 106,042 Retweets 344,773 Likes
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  • 33
    Text - Andy baby was born @ItsAndyRyan Follow Daughter: What does gays mean? Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way Her: So what's 'penetrating gays'? Me: Er... read me the whole sentence Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze" Ме: Oh 11:59 AM - 11 Sep 2018 116,137 Retweets 582,099 Likes
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  • 34
    Text - scorpihoe Follow @penholder me: I really shouldn't eat out today; I have to save money me: if you buy food with cash, it'll be like you're not spending money bc the number in your bank account will be the same me: shit can't argue with that logic let's eat 8:45 AM - 26 Sep 2018 143,114 Retweets 471,296 Likes
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  • 35
    Text - Sammy @QuirozSammy Follow Petition to take Friends off Netflix and replace it with Avatar: the Last Airbender 7:21 PM - 6 Dec 2018 105,255 Retweets 263,310 Likes
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  • 36
    Text - mel Follow @anemicfatty me at 6 y/o: bilingual, genius iq, mentally healthy, able to do math me at 18 y/o: illiterate, health is nonexistent, and needs a calculator to solve 6+8 11:00 PM -29 Apr 2018 150,211 Retweets 372,715 Likes
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  • 37
    Water - Madi Ford Follow @Madiford2 Do you ever just feel like a rotisserie chicken? 5:06 PM 29 Jun 2018 112,269 Retweets 285,253 Likes
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  • 38
    Text - Brooke March Follow @Brooke_L_March Do you remember when your mom would take you shopping and you would come home and do a "fashion show" for your dad who was half asleep on the couch and would give you a nod and a "very nice" for every outfit or was that just my family. 12:04 AM 28 Nov 2018 111,828 Retweets 488,013 Likes
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  • 39
    Text - leah bullock Follow @leahbullock_8 a tragedy: when your hair-wash cycle doesn't coordinate w/ an event & you overestimate the amount of time in which your hair can last w/o being washed 4:58 AM - 16 Jun 2018 103,294 Retweets 408,920 Likes
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  • 40
    Text - mike Follow @boy_from_school as a child i thought i'd have to deal with the bermuda triangle a lot more than i have in my adult life 4:47 PM -13 May 2018 99,546 Retweets 377,862 Likes
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