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17 Parents Share the Most Devastating Secrets They Keep from Their Kids

Everyone is lying to their kids about something. The difference is in the size of the lie. Some parents hid enormous, life-changing secrets from their kids. Other parents are stealthy about the amount of ice cream in the house that their kids don't know about. On the lighter side of parental lies, here are 29 of the funniest lies parents told their kids.

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  • 1
    Text - soft_hime 32.5k points 8 hours ago I'm the child but my dad waited till I'm grown up to tell me that my mom gave me a lot of sleeping pills when I was a little child, so she could leave me alone at home to maintain her relationship with her lover while my dad was working in another country.. that cleared up many things
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  • 2
    Text - Chinstrap_1 15.0k points 9 hours ago Kind of the opposite, but edited 3 On my 18th birthday my father walked into my room with a bag of weed & a bunch of rolling papers and showed me the entire hidden portion of our house (not on blueprints, accessed through hidden door) that he used to grow weed. Ihad gotten grounded for smoking weed several times by that point in my life. This was in Florida in the 90's
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  • 3
    Text - katiesaid 26.0k points 8 hours ago That we weren't actually visiting daddy at 'his work', its a secure psychiatric ward where he's been since she was 3 months old
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  • 4
    Text - Blacklight_Fever 8.4k points 9 hours ago After all the acid we did, we thought you kids would be flipper babies.
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  • 5
    Text - 9 hours ago S ParentsThrowAway559 24.1k points That we're divorced. Years before they came along, spouce and I decided it wasn't working out and got divorced. Years later, things still weren't working out fantastically for both of us, so we got back together. Never did get around to getting remarriedthough
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  • 6
    Text - fractalfarmer 8.3k points 9 hours ago The sheer volume of BDSM related toys edited 8 hidden in our bedroom. There's also a 50/50 chance our eldest was conceived in a fetish club.
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  • 7
    Text - getguddietrying 23.3k points 8 hours ago My parents told me my sister is adopted. They didn't tell her. She's 34. BTW help what do I do
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  • 8
    Text - frenglish2 6.0k points 9 hours ago I have a copy of Grand Theft Auto hidden behind some books on a shelf.
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  • 9
    Text - Scarn4President 2.6k points 8 hours ago It's not fucked up. But my daughter doesn't know I'm an atheist. She goes to a Christian private school. Going to be an interesting conversation when she is a little older. She is starting to put it together. She just asked me the other day that why does her mom say a prayer for Jesus before bedtime and I say the Green Lantern oath instead.
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  • 10
    Text - Whodat33 21.2k points 8 hours ago 2 That I don't actually enjoy watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. My 2 year old would be devastated because that's our show.
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  • 11
    Text - gidikh 5.9k points 8 hours ago After reading a bunch of these, I feel pretty good that my most fucked up secret is that I eat most of their halloween/easter/parade candy when they are at school.
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  • 12
    Text - nilikon 20.5k points 8 hours ago edited 1 hour ago My daughter knows that her grandparents are getting a divorce. She doesn't know that it's because grandpa (74) decided to knock up a 23 year old. We will talk about it once she's older, but I don't want to normalize that relationship for a preadolescent.
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  • 13
    Text - edited 7 Philieselphy 4.8k points 8 hours ago We are so poor. They're little so they don't notice. But we struggle a lot to pay the rent and buy groceries.
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  • 14
    Text - taythecoug 18.0k points 8 hours ago That we don't go to bed the same time as they do...
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  • 15
    Text - cactus_jilly 3.9k points 9 hours ago I'm working out how to explain that the chicken we eat is the same as the kind of chickens that live on a farm.
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  • 16
    Text - oceangirl512 15.8k points 9 hours ago edit I don't have kids but here's a family secret: my mom and I left the straightener on for 2 days while we took a family trip to Canada. It ed 1 hour doesn't have an automatic off. We haven't told my dad. EDIT: the house is fine, the counter was just really hot. This was like two years ago.
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  • 17
    Text - edited 4 h luckyducs1100 3.1k points 8 hours ago My whole family thinks I'm awful with money because I'm super broke despite having a good job but I'm actually socking away every spare penny to put my niece through college and to take care of my parents when they can't work anymore
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