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37 Cringey Dad Jokes That'll Prepare You For Father's Day

Father's Day is coming up on Sunday, so we're bracing ourselves for some really bad dad jokes and capitalist Hallmark propaganda! The truth is, whether or not you have a father figure, these cringey jokes make the whole day worthwhile. Or at least distract you from the crowded restaurants and overly male gifts.

  • 1
    Text - If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it's stumped?
    Via Imgur
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  • 2
    Text - What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
    Via Imgur
  • 3
    Text - Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even.
    Via Imgur
  • 4
    Text - I couldn't figure out how the seat belt worked Then it just clicked.
    Via Imgur
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  • 5
    Text - What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice? A Popsicle.
    Via Imgur
  • 6
    Text - Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?"
    Via Imgur
  • 7
    Text - How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
    Via Imgur
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  • 8
    Text - Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
    Via Imgur
  • 9
    Text - What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
    Via Imgur
  • 10
    Text - Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
    Via Imgur
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  • 11
    Text - I just got fired from a florist, apparently I took too many leaves.
    Via Imgur
  • 12
    Text - What does a female snake use for support? A co-Bra!
    Via Imgur
  • 13
    Green - "Dad, I'm cold." "Go stand in the corner, I hear it's 90 degrees."
    Via Imgur
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  • 14
    Text - What do you call a careful wolf? Aware wolf.
    Via Imgur
  • 15
    Green - What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel.
    Via Imgur
  • 16
    Text - I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it's the best ceiling in the world, but it's definitely up there.
    Via Imgur
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  • 17
    Text - "My Dog has no nose." "How does he smell?" "Awful"
    Via Imgur
  • 18
    Text - What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks? A labracadabrador
    Via Imgur
  • 19
    Text - What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
    Via Imgur
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  • 20
    Text - What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
    Via Imgur
  • 21
    Text - Why did the half blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
    Via Imgur
  • 22
    Text - How do you steal a coat? You jacket.
    Via Imgur
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  • 23
    Text - As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
    Via Imgur
  • 24
    Text - It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they take everything literally.
    Via Imgur
  • 25
    Text - Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
    Via Imgur
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  • 26
    Text - It's difficult to say what my wife does, she sells sea shells by the sea shore.
    Via Imgur
  • 27
    Text - What do you call a monkey in a mine field? A babooooom!
    Via Imgur
  • 28
    Text - I'm reading a book on the history of glue. Can't put it down.
    Via Imgur
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  • 29
    Text - Why do choirs keep bucketse handy? So they can carry their tune.
    Via Imgur
  • 30
    Text - Just watched a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I've ever seen.
    Via Imgur
  • 31
    Text - Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I'm still working on it.
    Via Imgur
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  • 32
    Text - You can't run through a camp site. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
    Via Imgur
  • 33
    Text - Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's ok, he woke up.
    Via Imgur
  • 34
    Text - They're making a movie about clocks. It's about time.
    Via Imgur
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  • 35
    Text - I was going to get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind.
    Via Imgur
  • 36
    Green - Archaeology really is a career in ruins.
    Via Imgur
  • 37
    Green - Why can't you use "Beef stew" as a password? Because it's not stroganoff.
    Via Imgur

Tags

yikes dads fathers day jokes bad jokes dad jokes woof funny holidays funny jokes hilarious haha lol

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Posted by haunted_admin

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