Favorite

37 Cringey Dad Jokes That'll Prepare You For Father's Day

Father's Day is coming up on Sunday, so we're bracing ourselves for some really bad dad jokes and capitalist Hallmark propaganda! The truth is, whether or not you have a father figure, these cringey jokes make the whole day worthwhile. Or at least distract you from the crowded restaurants and overly male gifts.

Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email
  • 1
    Text - If you walk into a forest and cut down a tree, but the tree doesn't understand why you cut it down, do you think it's stumped?
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 2
    Text - What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 3
    Text - Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 4
    Text - I couldn't figure out how the seat belt worked Then it just clicked.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 5
    Text - What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice? A Popsicle.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 6
    Text - Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?"
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 7
    Text - How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 8
    Text - Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 9
    Text - What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 10
    Text - Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 11
    Text - I just got fired from a florist, apparently I took too many leaves.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 12
    Text - What does a female snake use for support? A co-Bra!
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 13
    Green - "Dad, I'm cold." "Go stand in the corner, I hear it's 90 degrees."
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 14
    Text - What do you call a careful wolf? Aware wolf.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 15
    Green - What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 16
    Text - I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it's the best ceiling in the world, but it's definitely up there.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 17
    Text - "My Dog has no nose." "How does he smell?" "Awful"
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 18
    Text - What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks? A labracadabrador
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 19
    Text - What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 20
    Text - What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 21
    Text - Why did the half blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 22
    Text - How do you steal a coat? You jacket.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 23
    Text - As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 24
    Text - It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, because they take everything literally.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 25
    Text - Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 26
    Text - It's difficult to say what my wife does, she sells sea shells by the sea shore.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 27
    Text - What do you call a monkey in a mine field? A babooooom!
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 28
    Text - I'm reading a book on the history of glue. Can't put it down.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 29
    Text - Why do choirs keep bucketse handy? So they can carry their tune.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 30
    Text - Just watched a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I've ever seen.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 31
    Text - Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I'm still working on it.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 32
    Text - You can't run through a camp site. You can only ran, because it's past tents.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 33
    Text - Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's ok, he woke up.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 34
    Text - They're making a movie about clocks. It's about time.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • Advertisement
  • 35
    Text - I was going to get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 36
    Green - Archaeology really is a career in ruins.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • 37
    Green - Why can't you use "Beef stew" as a password? Because it's not stroganoff.
    Pin It
    Via Imgur

  • About the Author

    haunted_admin
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email
  • Reposted by
  • Kholdstare_2's avatar

Next on Memebase

26 Random Memes To Help You Get Through It All
Comments - Click to show - Click to hide