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20 Dad Jokes So Potent They Will Make You Become A Father

There's something about becoming a dad joke that instantly turns you into a master of puns and jokes that are absolutely duds. This is a collection of some of the most potent Dad Jokes that money can buy. 

Okay, still looking for more Dad Jokes? Try these Cringeworthy Dad Jokes on for size. 

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  • 1
    Mammal - 56 What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
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  • 2
    Adaptation - What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
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  • 3
    Text - I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of themmade the finals. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
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  • 4
    Winter - If you ever get cold, stand in the corner of a room for a while They te usually 90 degrees
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  • 5
    Flag - What's the best thing about Switzerland? O don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
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  • 6
    Natural foods - If you have 10 apples in one hand and 14 oranges in the other, what do you have? Really, really big hands.
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  • 7
    Food - Murphy's Law says that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong Cole's Law is thinly sliced cabbage
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  • 8
    Water - What's the difference between ahippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter
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  • 9
    Product - l took part in the sun tanning Olympics... butlonly got bronze
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  • 10
    Horse - A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says "Hey" The horse replies, "Sure
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  • 11
    Text - A man walks into a lawyer's office and asks, Howimuch do you charge?" The lawyer says, "$5,000 for three questions "Wow, that's pretty expensive, isn't it?" the man asks. Yes" says the lawyer "Now, what's your third question?"
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  • 12
    Dish - Apparently youtcan't use beef Stew as a password It's inot stroganoff
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  • 13
    Terrestrial animal - Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building cantiump
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  • 14
    Text - Jame Not only is mynew thesaurus far dug terriblea it'salso terrible /ngabnetaru
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  • 15
    Facial expression - George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie. Clooney says, "I'll direct." DiCaprio says, "I'll act." McConaughey says, "llwrite, I'll write, I'll write"
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  • 16
    Bird - What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? "Put it on my bill."
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  • 17
    Astronaut - How does NASA organize a party? They planet
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  • 18
    Airplane - What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do wewant them? NNNNNEEEEO00000OWwwwww W!
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  • 19
    Text - 1 googled "Rorshach test. But all that came up were pictures of my parents fighting.
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  • 20
    Cartoon - What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name
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