28 People Share The Dumbest Things They've Ever Heard

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mattstaff
Jun 21, 2019 12:00 PM EDT

We have some prime examples of blatant stupidity run amok. These people clearly fell through the cracks, and this is the result. Fair to say that if I was out walking around, these shining moments of ignorance wouldn't fail to stop me in my tracks. You just never know what kind of stupid you might hear while you're out walking around. 

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  • 01
    dumb stories - Text - ruyroy12 8h My friend thinks that hibernation is a hoax because she's seen pictures of bears in the snow. The first picture she showed me was of a polar bear.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 02
    dumb stories - Text - VnGChrome 3h 1 Award I drive for Uber on the weekends and one time a girl who was in her late 20's told me that I was making her uncomfortable. I haven't said a word the whole trip so I asked how I could make the situation better. She said she didn't like how i kept "playing with the fidget stick in the middle of my car." I drive a manual. She then told me that I didn't need to use that because "her car didn't have that" and claimed to be a mechanic
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 03
    dumb stories - Text - TryThis 21 7h S 1 Award My brother used to be a park ranger. One time a lady asked him how long it took for a deer to become a moose. He said about 7 years.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 04
    dumb stories - Text - michonne_impossible 7h When I did tattoos, I had a guy come into the shop that wanted "Mr. 113" on his wrist. Not really all that out of the ordinary. We get it drawn up, my co worker placed it and she starts to do the tattoo. As soon as she starts, the guy screams in pain and jumps up. "What the hell is in that thing?! Is there a needle in there?! That shit hurts!" .... what?! This guy was in his 30s or 40s
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 05
    dumb stories - Text - grubbzy420 9h my mum once asked if they had wind in canada...
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 06
    dumb stories - Text - GarfieldGauntlet 9h Oxygen doesn't come from trees, it comes from the air!
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 07
    dumb stories - White - God-YouNeedMe 8h Is African a religion
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 08
    dumb stories - Text - chrisw1984 6h I bought a Venus Fly Trap for my desk at work. One of the women who works in HR came over to my desk and stared at it for a long time looking confused. Eventually she asked, "where are its eyes?"
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 09
    dumb stories - Text - ayedray 7h My old housemate thought that Down Syndrome was something you could get from vaccines. She wasn't anti-vax. She was talking about vaccines and said "I don't get why parents are afraid to get their kids vaccinated. The chances of catching Down syndrome are really low."
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 10
    dumb stories - Text - bigB242 7h A girl in 5th grade saw an Algebra textbook on my teacher's desk and proceeded to exclaim very loudly: "Is algebra a country?"
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 11
    dumb stories - Text - DerpDerpingtonlV 6h Had a friend over years ago and we were talking about my plasma TV. He said that he would never buy a plasma tv because he didn't want to have to replace the plasma when it ran out. I didn't correct him. I thought it would be best if he didn't buy a plasma tv.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 12
    dumb stories - Text - CarlosAVP 7h Me: "What weighs more; a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?" Coworker: "Bricks!" It took me about 15 minutes to explain the answer to him, which included me drawing it out on paper and using a kitchen scale with different items for examples. I drank so much that night.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 13
    dumb stories - Text - Samisepic 7h "Wait! You've been to Indiana? Do they really speak English?!"
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 14
    dumb stories - Text - TheBassMeister 7h Someone was convinced that Queen stole the bass line to "Under Pressure" from Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby". He wasn't even saying it as a joke.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 15
    dumb stories - Text - GenericUsername7621 9h I had to explain to my last landlady that a 7 day long Menstruation was normal and that her massage work wouldn't "cure me" and make me bleed for only 2 days. That was a fun conversation
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 16
    dumb stories - Text - cmpgamer 9h That turn signals are only optional. For a good chunk of states, it is legally required for you to use your turn signals 100 feet before turning. Only to be told later that they got a ticket for not using their turn signal
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 17
    dumb stories - Text - blipsman . 6h Freshman English class... we were reading Lord of the Flies at the same time the movie Alive (about a soccer team's plane crashing in the Andes mountains) came out. Since both were about groups being stranded and the politics/society building that results, we were discussing the movie in class one day. When discussing their resorting to cannibalism
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 18
    dumb stories - Text - Red_Hood777 4h I was in a college class, and we were talking about agriculture. Me being from a farming town I was explaining how important certain aspects of farming are interesting, and super important. This one student was not budging, and she was refusing whatever I was saying. Il asked her why she was so against farming, and she said "I think we should get rid of all of them. We don't need them." I asked her if she liked to eat, and she said we would be fine
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 19
    dumb stories - Text - scottiebass 7h Elderly lady my mom knew refused to ever drink Colombian coffee because she was convinced that they "secretly put cocaine in it" If that was the case, every store would be sold out of it as soon as they got it in. Idiot.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 20
    dumb stories - Text - DigitalSheepDream 6h I was shopping at a Walmart and heard two teenagers discuss how they hated Dora The Explorer because she was "Chinese or something like that." I had an employee ask me if the precooked bacon sold at the store could give him swine flu. I thought he was joking and laughed. He was not.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 21
    dumb stories - Text - Mega_Nidoking 5h A girl I used to work with was pissed that her boyfriend "only bought me 12 roses! He wouldn't even go all out for a dozen, whatta jerk!"
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 22
    dumb stories - Text - MTAlphawolf 7h 7th grade history class, 2 kids were arguing if there were 50 or 51 states. Another classmate cleared it up for them- "52, The 50 and Alaska and Hawaii." Same class, different person when asked a name of a US colony answered Wyoming. So the teacher had a good laugh about the Mayflower getting over the great plains.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 23
    dumb stories - Text - daveyhh 5h Imoved from California to Hawaii... three dumbest things I heard about me moving were, do you have to change your currency there? Are you driving there or flying? And one guy was convinced Hawaii was located in the gulf of mexico because that's where it was on the map. he didn't understand that part of the map was cut out and placed there
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 24
    dumb stories - Text - BoricPuddle57.8h NASA? Is that a planet? Said by a classmate of mine are ours 17 years old
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  • 25
    dumb stories - Text - DirtySingh 9h My 34 year old sister, "I digest my food very fast. I always shit after eating."
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  • 26
    dumb stories - Text - Aft_Nebula 5h Had a friend tell me you can only get salmonella from salmon
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 27
    dumb stories - Text - Shesabadsammajamma 7h We get wildfires every summer, a former co- worker and I were chatting about it, when he dropped this gem, "You know why all the other planets burned up? Cuz no one was there to put them out." I waited for a very long time for him to smile or show me he was joking. He was not.
    via u/Nothing_here1
  • 28
    dumb stories - Text - FinchDW 8h That some flat Earthers now believe the world is actually doughnut shaped...
    via u/Nothing_here1

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