'I Missed The Bus
As your son, I regret to inform you that I've missed my means of public transportation. I know you must be on a roller coaster of emotions right now but rest assured, I've decided to stay home. This was a tough decision to make while you were gone for 20 minutes. I'm probably in my bed moping, so please don't interrupt me. If you require any further assistance, please see the pros/cons cart on the back side.'