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Medical Professionals Share the Dumbest Things They've Had to Explain To People

Doctors, Nurses, certified nursing assistants, pharmacists, and anyone even  tangentially related to medicine constantly have to talk to people who have no basic understanding of how their own body works. Patients will do stupid things, lie, and even deny the most WTF stuff. It's kind of sad to think about where we'd be without medical expertise, and it's flabbergasting to see what people think is healthy behavior.

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    Text - 18 hours ago edited 15 hours ago S 2 IbuBROfen 14.6k points Patient had been referred to my pharmacy by his physician for an OTC enema. The guy was not the sharpest tack, and apparently either his physician did not explain it well or the guy didn't listen, but our conversation went like this: Pt.: So I drink down this whole bottle and then I'll hafta shit? Me: No sir, this is an enema. It is used rectally Pt. (confused): So what's that mean, I don't hafta drink the whole thing? Me: No sir
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    Text - Kleinasaurus 9.4k points 19 hours ago .edited I work in health information management currently. I get to explain to parents that even though they are biological I still can't share information about your adult kid about a half dozen times a day
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    Text - 19 hours ago ForGWSEyesOnly 8.9k points What's an appropriate reason to dial 911 / private ambulance services. No, it's not okay to call 911 because your boyfriend won't take his jacket off. And no calling us directly (private ambulance) isn't appropriate either.
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    Text - GrumpyDietitian 7.3k points 16 hours ago I had to tell a patient that food cooked in restaurants does in fact have salt (sodium) He was under the impression that they just, didn't? idk. I was like, no dude, that's why their food tastes good.
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    Text - Underwritingking 16.6k points 19 hours ago That you need to take the packaging off the suppository before you insert it. Which in retrospect, is why they were making his piles worse...
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    Text - MissPlaceDApostrophe 13.3k points 16 No, your teenaged daughters cannot share a single prescription for birth control pills.
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    Text - stayathmdad 6.7k points 16 hours ago No, belly button lint is not a reason to go to the emergency room via ambulance
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    Text - 19 hours ago S up766570 11.3k points Worked in an optical practice in the UK. Man comes in complaining of bad vision His asigmatism has increased by like 3 diopters. That's a fuck load and definitely shouldn't happen. Optician retested using different kit. Same result. Told him to come back in a week and we will retest it. This time we're looking at 4 diopters. They freak out. Recheck again, another optician checks it. Same result. They run through health, smoking, drinking, medicine. Not
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    Text - RepublicansRInbreds 5.5k points 18 hours ago Me: "Did you miss a dose of [insert medicine name here]?" Pt: "No, I take it every day". Me: "How many times did you not take [previously named medicine] in the past week?" Pt: "Three and I skipped this morning too" This happens probably once a week.
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    Text - Kaclassen 16.4k points 16 hours ago ec A couple instances come to mind. 1. Don't have sex 6 hours after you delivered a baby. 2. Coffee creamer is not the same as infant formula. Please do not feed your day old newborn International Delight. 3. Probiotics are different from antibiotics. Probiotics do not cure syphilis. Edit: These were 3 different patients. I'm not sure if that's better or worse?
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    Text - 3.2k points 20 hours ago elleboes Today for example, I had to coach a grown person through their decision making process about why they thought it was ok to spit on the floor
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    Text - 16 hours ago muffaluffugus83 3.2k points Why showering regularly is important. I am a home health Physical Therapist.
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    Text - Cycro 3.1k points 17 hours ago "Sex makes babies." Okay, so maybe not as succinct. You would be shocked at the number of calls related to abdominal pain turn out to be pregnancy even after asking the patient if there is any chance they are pregnant and they answer "no."
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    Text - thenotsogeekplayer 3.1k points16 hours ago Nurse here. I have to explain daily to patients that they can't eat before an operation. They're always saying things like "but if I ate and had an accident wouldn't they operate on me?" I have to explain that in case of life and death situations the doctor takes some risks but why risk during an routine operation
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    Text - TypicalVegetarian 5.3k points 18 hours ago I worked in Hospital Administration for nearly two years. While working on something I decided to take a break and go down to the cafeteria to get something to eat and not look at number. While there, a woman was on the phone with someone and was pretty openly talking about how she kept drinking the night before surgeries to calm her nerves and how she thought it was ridiculous that the doctors couldn't/ wouldn't just pump her stomach so they cou
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    Text - 15 hours ago S IronicNihilist 10.6k points Usually goes along with after a car accident and their kids weren't in car seats/seatbelts, how their kid... NEED TO BE IN FUCKING CAR SEATS... But it's summer so a more seasonal example is the following: Me- "So whats the problem today?" Them- "I don't know what's going on! I can't breath! I'm having a seizure!" Me- "Hmmm.. has this ever happened before? T- "Yea usually when I smoke crystal meth" Me- "Did you smoke crystal meth today?" T- "Yea,
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    Text - 14 hours ago S IT_Chef 4.1k points Old friend of mine is a Nurse Practitioner. She told me she once saw a patient, male, complaining of severe rectal itching and general pain. She is a very smart people-person, she can read people very well. She got right to the point and asked him about his daily hygiene routine. She had a hunch based off his presentation that he was a "man's man"..."aint go gay stuff happening here!!" Long story short, when showering, he NEVER cleaned his ass. Ever. He
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    Text - chipgal 10.2k points 19 hours ago Don't lick your contact lenses to clean them. Seriously.
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    Text - Contrariwise2 9.4k points 16 hours ago Children's oral antibiotics prescribed for ear infections (which are usually pink, sweet, fruit flavored liquids), are meant to be delivered into the mouth and NOT directly into the ear canal. Yes. This happens. More often than you can imagine
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  • 20
    Text - BruteSquad610 3.4k points 14 hours ago edited 13 Yes, you smoking in your house is likely making your kid's asthma worse.
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