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British Twitter Is Pure Gold (14 Tweets From This Week)

14 Tweets from this week that prove British Twitter is truly the best. 

Posted by elinorsalo
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  • 1
    Text - ruby @roobeekeane Tourist: [stops for 0.006 seconds to find their ticket at the tube barriers] Londoner: can you BELIEVE this? Talk about UNPREPARED. I was BORN with an Oyster card in my hand. My first WORDS were DELAYS on the NORTHERN line via BANK. Cut me and I BLEED rats- 6:31 pm 25 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 38.6K Likes 6.4K Retweets
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    Via twitter
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  • 2
    Product - brand @pissaround i need a church. Pootie Tang @Mdudemeister1.1 Oct Ladies, yes or no? EEE
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  • 3
    Text - Ben ОВ _К I met a guy called Fernando last week (who'd never heard the Abba song, he's 21) and when he first came to the UK and introduced himself to people they'd say 'can you hear the drums? And he just thought it was a weird Manc expression and started saying it back to people 11:03 pm 29 Sep 2019 Twitter for Android 51.9K Likes 6.2K Retweets
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    Via twitter
  • 4
    Text - Kelly Jackson @Kelly_Jackson88 By age 30 you should have: - A gym membership you pay for but don't use - a favourite hob - anxiety 9:04 pm 30 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 3.5K Likes 296 Retweets
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  • 5
    Text - maisey davison @maiseydavisonx my three year old niece ordering the jacket potato then crying when it arrived because she thought it was a potato wearing a jacket was the highlight of my night like 6:48 pm 28 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 84.1K Likes 8.1K Retweets
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  • 6
    Text - @TweetsByBilal When Adele said never mind, I'll find Someone Like You, I had no idea she meant Skepta. 11:43 am 1 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 325 Retweets 1.3K Likes
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  • 7
    Text - sarah mcentee @sarahmcenteex Was so bloated on the plane home from Ibiza the girl next to me asked me when I was due so I just went along with it and said oh March to save her the embarrassment and this bitch really had the audacity to say oh looks like it's gonna be a big baby you're not that far along 3:22 pm 3 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 947 Retweets 25.5K Likes >
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  • 8
    Text - Harry Potter @HPneuro I take your 'first name', and raise you my full name. @McJesse 26 Sep Jesse McLaren What piece of pop culture has ruined your first name? Show this thread 8:50 pm 26 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 33.9K Retweets 269K Likes >
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  • 9
    Text - ruby @roobeekeane ) other people wearing double denim: - cool - 90s vibes me wearing double denim: young farm boy with a secret - passion for manure - yee in the streets, haw in the sheets 6:23 pm 28 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 107K Likes 16.7K Retweets
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  • 10
    Text - 29 @chupaabarbie "So why should we hire you?" Sir my hair ain't been done in two months.. please. 9:44 pm 29 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 98.1K Likes 23.1K Retweets
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  • 11
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  • 12
    Text - Рapi K ID @Unkle_K Cracked a joke at work and nobody laughed so I had to pretend to faint 5:27 pm 3 Oct 2019 Twitter for iPhone 10.1K Likes 1.8K Retweets
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  • 13
    Text - Emma Data @valleyguitarist What's a mansplainers favourite film? Well Actually Love. 9:04 pm 28 Sep 2019 Twitter for Android 3.5K Likes 421 Retweets
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  • 14
    People - Barney Ronay @barneyronay So now they're... both called Rio Ferdinand? M Mirror Celeb @MirrorCeleb 1 Oct CELEBS Kate Wright changes her name after wedding to Rio Ferdinand as they jet out of Turkey mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity..
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