This Week's Top Celebrity News: A Satirical Roundup (October 19, 2020)

Since last week's Weekly Celebrity Diary, the world of celebs has been a happening place. Between Hailey Beiber getting a "J" tattoo on her finger (yes, we get it, you're married to Justin Beiber) and Kris Jenner making yet another asinine comment, we've got it all here for you, in this week's diary. Together with Mock Diaries, we bring you a weekly parody of the biggest celebrity news of the week. It's a summary of everything that happens to your favorite celebs—and the ones you openly dislike, while you are busy living your best life (Or your worst. We won't judge.) And here's last week's diary, in case you missed it.

1. Kris Jenner says something really, really dumb.

via mockdiaries

On the decision to finally end Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kris Jenner explained it was because social media changed the game, giving fans access into their lives. Facebook became popular 11 years ago, Kris. What else you got?
Advertisement
2. Prince Harry is staying put. For now. Watch this space!

via mockdiaries

Despite recent reports that Prince Harry is about to head home to England, he and Meghan are not returning anytime soon because of social isolation guidelines and hating that side of the family.
3. Netflix has a new social distancing show, so you can't escape your reality anymore

via mockdiaries

Netflix made a show about quarantine called "Social Distance" for everyone who wants to remember the traumatizing experience they are still living today.
4. Timothee Chalamet embarrassed by last year's make-out session. We've all been there.

via mockdiaries

Timothee Chalamet opened up about the viral paparazzi photos of him and Lili-Rose Depp making out on a boat in Capri last year. He admitted to feeling embarrassed by them and promised himself he would start keeping his eyes open when smooching with a girl. Or how else is he supposed to make sure no paparazzi are lurking?
Advertisement
5. Katie Holmes still happy one month into new relationship. Well done!

via mockdiaries

Sources say Katie Holmes is still very much in love with Emilio Vitolo and they are, by all accounts, having a great time together. Good on them for managing to stay happy after one month of dating.
6. Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner are in love and asleep.

via mockdiaries

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner celebrated their engagement anniversary by sharing a cute picture of the two of them on Instagram looking in love and sleepy AF.
7. In case you didn't know Hailey was married to Justin, she got a tattoo.

via mockdiaries

Hailey Baldwin got tattooed the letter "J" with a star on her ring finger in honor of her husband Justin Bieber. Luckily, it also works as a "J" for jackass in case they get a divorce.

Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor and more videos on our TikTok @cheezcaked