This Week's Top Celebrity News: A Satirical Roundup (October 26, 2020)

  • 1. Priyanka Chopra makes unremarkable comment about husband Nick Jonas.


    Priyanka Chopra said she still likes her husband Nick Jonas very much after quarantining with him for months and spending every waking moment together talking and sharing beautiful moments. Still no word on whether or not he feels the same way.

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  • 2. Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson are back together. For now.


    It's official! Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson are back together. Sources say Tristan worked really hard to convince Khloe that he will never cheat on her again… as long as the coronavirus is still out there.

  • 3. Hilary Duff is pregnant again.


    Hilary Duff is pregnant with her third child and we're all really happy for her, just like we're happy for all the other 147 celebrities that are pregnant right now. Not being pregnant is the real newsworthy thing now.

  • 4. Twitter is torn over whether Melania Trump used body double in final presidential debate.

    Vehicle - DENT OF THE

    Twitter is convinced that Melania Trump used a body double to go with Donald Trump to the final presidential debate. If Melania had a body double I seriously doubt she would be wasting it on a public event that doesn't require her speaking with or touching the president.

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  • 5. Sofia Richie and Scott Disick split over stepkids.


    Sofia Richie and Scott Disick revealed that they called their relationship off for good because Sofia wasn't ready to become a stepmom to Scott's three kids. Two kids would've been okay but three seemed excessive.

  • 5. Chris Pratt voted worst Hollywood Chris on Twitter

    Premiere - RIE FASTA

    Chris Pratt was deemed the worst Hollywood Chris on Twitter for the umpteenth time this week and his loyal celebrity friends Robert Downey Jr., Josh Gad, Mark Ruffalo, and Zoe Saldana came to his defense, proving once and for all that even celebrities are out of work right now and don't have much going on in their lives.

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