Tumblr Thread: The Plant World Is Actually Nuts

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mattstaff
Jul 17, 2021 4:00 PM EDT

The plant world is bonkers. There are battalions of mint and strawberry bushes waging war against one another with an unnerving level of strategy involved. Naturally, as Tumblr so often does, this particular thread ends up escalating even further into the nightmarish land of the Kudzu vine. It turns out the Kudzu vine is basically a massive, green, alien life force that's here to literally smother everything to death. If you're looking for some more gold from the world of Tumblr check out this recent thread we shared about a tragically misunderstood, nice guy named Vinny.

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  • 01
    Font - inconsequential S linesofreturninggeese Follow just-shower-thoughts Follow Building a treehouse is the biggest insult to a tree. "I killed your friend, here hold him." mojave-wasteland-official "Friend" Its more of I killed a potential enemy. Hold his dismembered corpse in victory. 00
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  • 02
    Font - theun--sj Follow Plants don't wage war e mojave-wasteland-official Ever heard of blackberries? Yes, plants do wage war kasaron Follow Mint and strawberries, too. They need to be quarantined or they will kill basically everything else.
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  • 03
    Font - systlin Follow I planted mint in the ground 2 years ago. It's currently fighting a bitter battle to the death against the raspberries attempting to invade from the east while trying to annex the patio. Could go either way at this point TBH. Unless, of course, I take a shovel and the blowtorch out there and battle both back to within their original boundaries. And anyone wondering if a blowtorch is overkill for weeding back mint has never actually planted mint.
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  • 04
    Font - moirakatson Follow This post did not go where I expected it to. S deathbeforednf Follow Our garden plot at my childhood home slowly got overrun by wild blackberries after we stopped managing it while my sister and I were in nursing school. And by overrun I mean it was like a 4 foot tall thicket of wild blackberries. It hadn't been touched by humans in at least
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  • 05
    Font - 4 years. I started the ultimately futile task of trying to clear this plot with a machete and discovered to my amazement a patch of mint several feet across underneath the canopy of blackberry, still fighting the good fight all those years later. Ultimately it took two jars of homemade napalm and some creative fire placement to clear that patch but I damn sure saved that patch of mint. It earned the right to be there.
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    Font - norseminuteman Follow Yall mother don't even talk unless you've had to wage war on kudzu (it's an ivy strain directly from that shit doesn't just wage war with other plants, it wages war with all living things on planet earth. It's some gnarly |Blood for the Blood God, Chlorophyll for the Chlorophyll Throne demon weed.
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  • 07
    Font - breadgunner Can second the comments of Kudzu. I forget where read it but there's this one tree that creates an extremely flammable substance that's in both the bark and leaves. Dead trees become torches and crushed up leaves become dust-incendiary, all while the plant's seeds are Giant Redwood levels of resilient to open flame. IE it has a scorched earth policy. It's even more than plants that use toxins to starve other plants.
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  • 08
    Plant - booksandwildthings Follow I'd like to third the comments on Kudzu. These are the battlefields:
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  • 09
    Font - See those weird pillars? Those were trees. See that strange lump in the middle? That was a house. Everything green you see in this photo is kudzu. e zachsanomaiy Follow Kudzu is an apocalyptic nightmare They smother every other living plant to death ID
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  • 10
    Plant - Those trees under there are dead, they can't get sunlight. Kudzu takes over and steals everything from these trees, and becomes them. It's creepy |These plants are basically straight out of a horror novelist's dream tbh.
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  • 11
    Plant - The bodies of everything the kudzu has slain.
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  • 12
    Plant - What used to be a house
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  • 13
    Plant - Someone attempting to drive a four wheeler through it, to give you scale It's an ornamental plant kept in check in china, but was introduced to north america where it immediately went rampant and began to
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  • 14
    Font - spread incredibly fast like a disease, destroying everything in its wake The ONLY thing that has stopped this curse from engulfing the united states is goats. Apparently goats love this stuff like no tomorrow. Everywhere we find it now, we just bring a horde of goats to cut it down. Everything is fine.. for now. zachsanomaiy Follow Kudzu is on time magazine's top 10 invasive species to look out for.
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    Plant
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    Plant
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    Plant
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  • 18
    Head - This little buddy doing his part UNCOTV zachsanomaiy Follow Not to keep spamming this post but
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  • 19
    Ecoregion - ladstation sfkatre in de thnd Sas "the growth of kudzu as it became a "structural parasite" of the South,[7] enveloping entire structures when untreated[11] and often referred to as "the vine that ate the South".[13]" "It has been spreading rapidly in the southern U.S., "easily outpacing the use of herbicide spraying and mowing, as well increasing the costs of these controls by $6 million annually". [2]" yall it's been estimated this plant consumes
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  • 20
    Font - 600 kilometers of the united states every year it's been suggested that we just start eating it to make it go away nixieseal Adding to the spam: yes, kudzu IS edible. In fact, all parts of it but the vine are edible. The leaves are supposedly great in salads or baked into quiche. The flowers supposedly are great in jam. The roots... Well, if you know how to cook other root vegetables, you know what to do with kudzu root. Feed this stuff to your livestock and cook it. Eat it before it eats
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  • 21
    Communication Device - vagaybond Follow @solarpunkcast @solarpunkactionweek @solarpunkinspo @enviropunk feels relevant 3-ducks-in-a-trenchcoat Follow In this world it's eat or be eaten gamebird Follow Thread starts with the existential angst of building a treehouse. Ends with recipes on how to eat kudzu. Posts that make you go 'hm? Source: just-shower-thoughts 221,327 notes > D © ID
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nature crazy humor surprising plants tumblr ridiculous funny tumblr
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