Bride Asks Shower Guests To Ship Gifts To House, Guests Disregard Request

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mattstaff
Jul 17, 2021 3:00 PM EDT

It sounds like this bride was pretty dang clear about exactly what she wanted/needed when it came to the gift-giving process for her bridal shower. Basically, by having all of her bridal shower guests actually present their gifts to her in person, she ended up having to decide whether she'd shell out some serious dough for shipping those gifts to her place in California or returning all the gifts and then repurchasing them. Both of those routes aren't particularly appealing. Thus, it's no surprise that a fair number of people in the comments section were in agreement that the bride wasn't in the wrong for not being too stoked about the whole situation. 

This thread was posted to r/AITA (Am I the A-Hole) by the bride who is wondering if she is in the wrong for asking guests to ship their bridal shower gifts to her home.

We've seen plenty of wedding drama stories lately. For some more, check out this post about a best man who roasted a bridezilla, and the drama that ensued. 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for getting upset about bridal shower gifts? I just had my bridal shower near where my family lives on the East Coast. My fiancé and I live all the way in California, and prior to my bridal shower requested that any gift purchased (with the exception of cash) be sent to our address in CA. Our registry contained all sorts of things, many of which are fragile like china, wine flutes, etc... it seemed like a no-brainer to politely ask if people could have their gifts shipped to us to av
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  • 02
    Font - Well, the day came and l'd noticed l'd barely received any gifts at my house. I figured maybe a lot of people just decided to give cash? Nope. Most people (40 guests total) decided to bring their gifts and had me open them in person. I was so upset, I wanted to cry. The whole time I was thinking I had 2 options: either ship all of these fragile gifts back to CA, or return them all and then buy them again and send them to my address. The thing is, my flight left to go back home the day aft
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  • 03
    Font - She mentioned I was overreacting about this and that people just want to see me open stuff. It just sucked to feel like people just wanted to see their actual gift get opened at my shower and didn't care how inconvenient it really was for me. I'm going to have to wait months to actually get to enjoy this stuff/purchase all the gifts over again with all of the store credit. AITA for wanting people to send their shower gifts directly to me? Edit: this was an online registry on Zola where yo
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  • 04
    Font - ElleBeaBishop • 11h 1 Award NTA whatsoever. Some of these people don't understand east coast traditions, and since you said to ship them to you in Cali, it was rude of people to bring them in person. A similar thing happened at my wedding and just ugh it was a hassle. G Reply 4 1.1k 3
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  • 05
    Font - Tomatothongs • 8h Against the grain but NTA. They could've brought photos of the gift, as stated, and then they'd still get to see your expression upon opening them which is still cool for the guests. You went out there to make it easier on your guests who were attending sooo. You don't seem greedy or gift grabby. Don't just donate the stuff though (if you haven't already) if you have lots of family up there maybe just have someone hold onto the gifts for awhile and then when you have the
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  • 06
    Font - Celtic_Dragonfly17 · 11h NTA...everyone on here saying you are, surprise me!!! You made this easy and they wanted their own gratification over logic. If you ever have a child, DO NOT have a shower with them. They can come to you or wait for photos. No one is understanding the logistical nightmare this is for you. You made a process super easy and no one cared. They just wanted to see their gift opened and ignored that you lived on the other coast. G Reply 285
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  • 07
    Font - jc1691 · 10h NAH. I don't understand these comments at ALL. I don't think the guests are AH either cause they probably weren't thinking too much about the shipping, OR they all individually thought "well if one person brings a gift that's not a big deal" but then they all did it. G Reply 1 1.4k 3
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  • 08
    Font - BryceCanYawn · 8h NTA, especially given that last edit. The people might have meant well, but they were more of a burden than a blessing. Wrapping a pic was a good suggestion. Also the gift opening but is always awkward and worth skipping. G Reply 1 40 3 ...
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  • 09
    Rectangle - AussieBelgian • 10h I can't believe the amount of grief OP is getting. I would've done the exact same. NTA G Reply 235 +
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  • 10
    Font - kawaiixmama · 8h NTA, you clearly laid everything out, mentioned why and so on. Everyone attending knew you lived in CA, they inconvenienced you so much , it isn't hard to follow directions or give a gift card/money. É G Reply ↑ 77 ...
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  • 11
    Font - tiredandshort · 13h Partassipant [1] Going against the grain and saying NTA because I live away from my hometown too and I totally get this struggle. The number of times I've been given gifts like lotion or whatever in bottles way too big to bring on the plans. It really is a massive pain and gifts shouldn't cause an inconvenience to the receiver because then it isn't a gift, it's a chore. Also, it's kind of nuts to me that so many people are calling you ungrateful. How many times have al
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  • 12
    Font - embracedthegrey · 8h NTA. I think the first time I ran into shipping a gift for shower/wedding was about 30 years ago. And wow, did it make sense since the couple lived in another state but were having all their wedding activities in their home state because that was where their families were. Since then, I don't think l've taken an actual gift to a gift giving event except when it was for a housewarming. I am curious though about how close all those people were to the bride to be invited
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  • 13
    Font - NTA. You specifically told the people not to bring gifts and yet they still brought them in person. I don't see how that's "bridezilla" behavior. G Reply 4 65 3 ...
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  • 14
    Font - hf2396 · 4h NTA and I can't believe some of the earlier comments here either! You had a clear and logical reason for wanting the gifts shipped, notified everybody and put in the address that they all then had to manually change? l'd be annoyed too if I was you. G Reply ...
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  • 15
    Rectangle - FutureJakeSantiago · 4h Partassipant [3] NTA, you made a specific request and people ignored it, making your life harder. The opening of the presents is the worst part of any shower, it's super cringey and brings the party to a halting stop. G Reply 企29 ...
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  • 16
    Font - DarthSamurai • 4h NTA. 99% of my family lives in CA. I live in TX. I had my bridal shower in CA (this was 5 years ago and my grandma's were both in their 90s and couldn't travel). I requested any gifts be sent to my house, in TX! And people did just that bc no way in hell was I gonna be able to lug gifts back or pay to ship. It's not an unreasonable request at all and no idea why people are saying you're TA. + G Reply
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  • 17
    Rectangle - soph_lurk_2018 · 4h Partassipant [2] NTA I actually love a bridal shower or baby shower there the guest of honor doesn't open everyone's gifts. It's torture sitting through the gift opening. G Reply ...
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  • 18
    Rectangle - Difficult_Square_534 · 2h NTA. If they wanted to see you open their gifts so bad then they could have requested you open them and make a video to see your reaction. G Reply ...
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  • 19
    Organism - Eyedontwantausername · 10h NTA - I know a lot of people move away from the area where most of their family stillI lives. I can see l'm in the minority, but i think the more selfish thing to do would have been to force everyone on a plane to see you OR have a register without having a party where folks can enjoy themselves. I and countless of my friends have done similar things. It's nicer than having my 90 year old Grandma have to get on a 5 hour flight to me. G Reply 4 48 3 ...
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  • 20
    Font - HnyBee_13 · 10h NTA. I got quite a few pictures of gifts that were sent to my house at my bridal shower 10 miles from my house because my family knows I have an itty bitty 2 door car and I would have been hard pressed to transport stuff. It wasn't any less exciting and I was just as, if not more, grateful to those people who thought this thru. G Reply 4 34 3 throwaway703531037 OP · 10h This 100% 6 & 13
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  • 21
    Font - SpaceFairyKween · 8h Partassipant [1] NTA You specified clearly on the registry and probably other ways such as a text or a phone call as to why you had such a request. I don't think you are unreasonable. If people went out of their way to change your address to theirs its safe to say they are the AH. In all honestly, it even sounds like it was for "bragging rights". That said, congrats on your wedding! O G Reply ↑ 18 3
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