22 Of The Best Insults People Have Heard

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mattstaff
Oct 7, 2021 10:00 AM EDT

When you hear that unmistakably polished, razor-sharp insult all that you can hope is that you're not on the receiving end of it. A rare insult is its own kind of art form. There's a fair amount of work that goes into forging the kind of insult that can manage to not be downright mean, but instead fits in with more of an entertaining, banter-y tone. That goes without saying, that this collection of the best insults that people have ever heard are definitely pushing it at certain times. But hey, maybe you'll find yourself inspired to add some of these to your arsenal. 

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  • 01
    Font - Czarcasm3 · 5h I hope you go far. The sooner, the better + G Reply 4 155 3
    via r/AskReddit
  • 02
    Rectangle - PineappleCubeKicks · 6h 3 1 Award 'I love how music takes you away to another place. Like Mumford & Sons is playing at this restaurant so now l'm going to another restaurant.! G Reply 4 391 ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 03
    Human body - larz_6446 · 2h Your intelligence is only exceeded by your incompetence.
    via r/AskReddit
  • 04
    Rectangle - Schmonballins · 2h One of my favorites is from James May of Top Gear fame. I can't remember if his insult was directed at Richard Hammond or Jeremy Clarkson but he called one of them a "witless dishcloth". It's not legendary or anything but it made me laugh. G Reply
    via r/AskReddit
  • 05
    Rectangle - ErzherzogT · 5h In middle school a classmate told me I have teeth like a Virginia picket fence. Middle schoolers have the best insults! G Reply 4 95 3
    via r/AskReddit
  • 06
    Rectangle - Purple_Dorito · 7h "You need lemons to make lemonade and you ain't got no lemons." My grampa used to say this when I wasn't good at something. I laughed every time. G Reply 4 29 3
    via r/AskReddit
  • 07
    Font - blastradii • 7h You look like the kind of character that would drop low level loot in a game. G Reply 1 44 3 ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 08
    Font - veg4ndracula · 4h Newly-wed woman: Sorry you couldnt come to my wedding. It's no-kids. Kid: It's okay l'll go to your next one. • From Modern Family G Reply ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 09
    Font - lonewolf210 • 3h Adult is trying to tell a kid how to set up a tent and is clearly wrong. Adult: listen to me I have been doing this longer than you have been alive. Kid: yeah well they believed the sun was the center of the universe for longer than I have been alive and that was wrong too. G Reply
    via r/AskReddit
  • 10
    Font - Born_Slippee · 20h 2 Awards I hope you know people just tolerate you. Reply 2.0k ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 11
    Rectangle - Kemi444 • 22h 3 Awards Your grades say marry rich but your face says study harder. Reply 9.9k
    via r/AskReddit
  • 12
    Human body - slightly_off_today • 23h 3 Awards It is clear that you have been educated beyond your intelligence.
    via r/AskReddit
  • 13
    Rectangle - squeeeeenis • 1d "Per my last E-mail." Reply 1.6k ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 14
    Rectangle - disder • 23h 1 Award job related, coworkers doing knot test; boss comes over to struggling person. "you look like an octopus in a ceiling fan bud, take a knee!" Reply 409 ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 15
    Font - Dutch_Midget • 23h S 1 Award You are impossible to underestimate Reply 730
    via r/AskReddit
  • 16
    Rectangle - ozn_akc • 1d 1 Award If you were a spice you would be flour Reply 5.3k ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 17
    Rectangle - Dutch_Midget • 23h 13 Awards You are the human equivalent of a participation award Reply 1 5.8k
    via r/AskReddit
  • 18
    Rectangle - TheNewHobbes • 23h 3 Awards It's my fault, I underestimated your stupidity Reply 1 4.4k
    via r/AskReddit
  • 19
    Smile - Poorly-Drawn-Beagle • 1d I expected better. No, that's a lie, at this point I take it for granted you'll keep finding ways to disappoint me. Reply 1.6k
    via r/AskReddit
  • 20
    Rectangle - EerieArizona • 23h 2 Awards You're bright as cave. Reply 3.9k ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 21
    Rectangle - ace_inthehOle • 1d "Who's this clown?" Reply 1 407 ...
    via r/AskReddit
  • 22
    Rectangle - SorosOwsMeMoney • 22h 1 Award You're everything I expected and less. Reply 642
    via r/AskReddit

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