Dumb Times Kids Proved That They're Strange Creatures

Eric Lund

Feb 2, 2022 2:00 PM EST

People say "the children are our future" as if it's a profound statement. But if you don't think the children are our future, all you're demonstrating is a complete lack of understanding of the basics of linear time. Of course the children are the future. How old do you think people get? So yes, obviously the children are our future. And if we keep filling their heads with meaningless and obvious platitudes like "the children are our future" then hoo boy they're not gonna be a very good future. We gotta teach these kids some math or something. As a species we've been trying to learn up the next generation as good as we can, but that doesn't happen overnight, and it comes with a lot of bumps in the road.

Without some guidance, these people would just sit there and eat coins until they couldn't move. They'd climb to the tops of radio towers and jump off while yelling "Fortnite!" They'd bother the rest of us on airplanes and they'd draw all over their faces with markers. Okay, they already do those things, but with some help they could stand to do it a little less. Here's some more proof that kids are basically another species.