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20 Impressively Crazy Tinder Pickup Lines That You'd Never See Used In Person

I'm fairly confident it could be last call at your nearest college bar that has a notorious reputation for over-serving Fratastic boozehounds to the point of adult-diaper-not optional-inebriation, and you still wouldn't witness these pick up lines being slurred and lobbed around the bar at the nearest face. That being said, can honestly say I was pleasantly blown away by the sheer ridiculousness of these Tinderized openers. If only we had the follow ups. Like some of the worst pickup lines bar none. That might be something.

But if you aren't cringing just yet, these insane Tinder lines will have you face-palming yourself into a concussion.

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  • 1
    Text - Angel Better hurry I got angels all around me Huh? Nvm You looking to sit on my face ? Not unless you wanna look like carrie Who is Carrie ? Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 2
    Text - Noa YOU MATCHED WITH NOA ON 3/1/17 Like big dick? I noa guy Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 3
    Text - < Taylor YOU MATCHED WITH TAYLOR ON 2/28/17 I'd spit in your butt Sent is that a compliment? Type a Message... Send GIF LF. (D
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  • 4
    Text - Nicole YOU MATCHED WITH NICOLE ON 3/1/17 My mom thinks im gay can you help me prove her wrong?? yea hb I wrap up some fruit roll ups on ur dick and suck the actual soul out of u while ur ma watches! #? Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 5
    Text - Jordan How's your mom? She look like a lovely lady She's good. And your right she is a lovely lady How's your dad. Hopefully an asshole? Are you asking if I have daddy issues? More like joking at it but ya Nah my dad is A1 Do you kiss your mom with that mouth? On the cheek What do you do with yours? Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 6
    Text - Brandon Imao Feb 22, 2017, 11:47 AM T just wanna take you on romantic dates and touch your butt Feb 22, 2017, 8:44 PM And maybe eat your ass But just little bit Feb 23, 2017, 12:17 AM So I'm guessing you're not into play ass What floats your boat than missy We could've been a power couple, Surgeon wife Lawyer Husband Wow imagine that life But u blew it all away Type a Message... Send GIF
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  • 7
    Text - Kelsey YOU MATCHED WITH KELSEY ON 3/3/17 Well your bio says 0 in the pink 5 in the stink I gotta say I'm liking what you're selling IType Send a Message... GIF T YU O Q W E R Р AS D F G К HJ L В N Хс V Z 123 return space
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  • 8
    Text - Patience The only thing you'll have to be patient on is when my Erectile Dysfunction kicks in and I have to try to get it back up are you trying to make a joke out of my name? Yes. i dont find those jokes funny lol Hey be patient, they'll grow on you. it's really not funny. Patience. Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 9
    Text - Julie Вае No Friend? No Coworker? Superior? Co existing Thats a good start Sent Турe a Message... Send GIF No
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  • 10
    Text - Jaklin YOU MATCHED WITH JAKLIN ON 3/7/17 not gonna lie I was Jaklin off to your photos... Sent IType Send a Message... GIF UIO P QWE T Y R AS D F G H J K L Z ХсV В N X 123 return space
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  • 11
    Text - Cambridge YOU MATCHED WITH CAMBRIDGE ON 3/3/17 I heard you're really hard to get into, but I think I'm smart enough to get in you Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 12
    Text - Ciera So do you like big Bird so much because when you were little your dad wouldn't give you any attention so you would pretend that big Bird was your paying attention to you and so it became the big Bird was a father figure for you? And than on birthdays you would replay videos of big Bird singing happy birthday to elmo and you would get jealous of all the attention elmo got so you would act out, which only made your real dad neglect you more. Yesterday eeee WHAT Ciera Yesterday Lol it
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  • 13
    Text - Elizabeth YOU MATCHED WITH ELIZABETH ON 2/27/17 You can walk on your hands but what else can they do? Mar 5, 2017, 10:34 PM They can do a lot Mar 5, 2017, 11:32 PM How many words a minute can they type Sent Mar 6, 2017, 3:48 PM No idea Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 14
    Text - Marshante YOU MATCHED WITH MARSHANTE ON 12/7/16 U ever get a tattoo of a neck on your real neck so if a stranger ever try 2 strang le u, they strangle the fake neck and u play dead and sneak away when they gone? Feb 21, 2017, 11:46 PM Send me nudes Sent Турe a Messag... Send GIF
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  • 15
    Text - Ashley on a completely unrelated note, do you like eating ass? Mar 4, 2017, 5:42 PM Yea Tbh nice me too id eat your ass so hard Ur too far But if let u eat my ass all day not sure how we matched 1204 miles away i wish i could eat ur ass from 1204 miles away Sent Honestly same Туре a МMessage... Send GIF
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  • 16
    Text - Nedda YOU MATCHED WITH NEDDA ON 3/4/17 NEDDA GONNA GIVE YOU UP. NEDDA GONNA LET YOU DOWN. NEDDA GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU Sent Mar 7, 2017, 10:30 AM Props ive never heard that one before Send Турe a Message... GIF
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  • 17
    Text - Bailey You work at a post office Feb 28, 2017, 21:57 Don't remind me Feb 28, 2017, 22:17 Well l'd love for you to take my package HAHAHAH oh my god that was smooth That'll be about 3 business days guaranteed with $100 insurance included Feb 28, 2017, 23:21 So you're actually prostitute? а Турe a Message... Send GIF
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  • 18
    Text - Abbey Mar 6, 2017, 7:20 AM This time you don't take the L Mar 7, 2017, 3:52 PM But you could take the D That's quite forward I've always been told to go forward in life Unless you want me to use the back door I walked myself into that one, clever I aim to impress But if you want to be really impressed you should see my male reproductive gland Sent Type a Message... Send GIF
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  • 19
    Text - Lacey YOU MATCHED WITH LACEY ON 3/2/17 I heard you were crazy, i hope you're crazy in bed too I like to think am Let me fuck you on the roof of your sorority house Alright What's the addy Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
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  • 20
    Text - Madison YOU MATCHED WITH MADISON ON 3/5/17 Can you shake it like a Polaroid picture? Duh Mar 6, 2017, 7:58 PM Waffles No thanks I'm more of a pancake fan Mar 6, 2017, 9:30 PM Ouch Sent Турe a Message... Send GIF
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